Thoughts of a on Going Mind

I really shouldn't be writing right now..  I should be eating and heading to bed... Long day today...  Too many hours...  It's amazing just how much needs done, and how much time it takes to do it...  If life didn't involve so many people, it could be stream-lined.  People take time..  I like machines..  The human race is in desperate need of an upgrade.

I don't like to do this, but sometimes I do...  I've taken a couple steps back to think about cruelty..  I don't like to believe that I'm cruel, because really I'm not..  I'm 100x nastier with myself than I am with anyone else, so I'm numb to it...  It isn't until something I do or say is taken out of context that the cruelty shows its face...  I can't really say I'm sorry for being cruel, because I do mean what I say..  and I do hope it hurts when I mean it...  Just like it hurts me... or just as the things that other people say that would generally be accepted as benign I find hurtful because of how differently I am wired from others.   I don't know if that puts anything into perspective for some people..  If it doesn't, and you think I'm cruel to you, then you maybe right, and you want to hurt, and you want someone to blame, and I'm good with that, I'm plenty happy to play that role that you apparently so desperately need... I'm used to being put the blame... And whoever tries to become more cruel to myself more than I can savor your little pains and go away...As long as I have my fiance in my life and she is happy, not much will effect me except the things I say or do or the things she says or does.


Interesting couple of weeks ahead...  yeah... you know... that reminds me...  I had a thought at some point not long ago... The idea was 'the measurement of change'...

I don't know if it's my overall perspective, my personality, or my life, or all of the
above..  But I have found that change is similar to electrical power... 

Electricity has:

Voltage [E] (pressure)
Amperage [I] (current)
Wattage [P] (power)

E * I = P

Well change has:

Situations in play [E]
Rate at which situations are developing [I]
Change [P]

E * I = P

Pretty straight forward and simple stuff...  You can have a lot of items in play that are slowly developing which yield the same amount of change as few items in play developing very quickly..  Everything takes energy which can not be created or destroyed.  A lot can be going on when it appears that the waters are still...  It's a concept I think many people overlook as one persons big picture may be a small piece of someone else's big picture...  Of course we all want to believe we're macroscopic beings, but once we're put into perspective, we're all small and insignificant...  Just a bunch of zeros and ones or little pixels that make up a whole image...Any 1 or 10 or 100 of us could disappear tomorrow and the overall picture wouldn't change much.....  Hmm...  I better stop here....  anyhow simple concept...

Reviews

[Violet's Run]

Well I can't argue with your math or your equation.. it is correct in a million ways.. I would tend to agree with you that one of us is insignificant and that life goes on without us, But to the ones we come in contact with the microscope goes to macro zoom .. because in their lives we are 100per cent large and in charge.. So to the entire planet maybe we area not anything but a pixel..but I think in relation to our lives we are HUGE.
Now, having said that I like this write for a number of reasons.. number one It made me dig down and reflect on what you were saying.. I cared enough to think it through and I acted on the thought by commenting.. all that tells me GREAT WRITE in an unusual style and manner but that is all to the good too. keep writing
susan