Rant on Sex

It may be premature to begin writing about this, but I'm hoping the words will bring focus. There was a time, long ago, when life was simple.  There was a yes or no answer to almost any question, and the truth could always be found within the first 3 layers.  Intention was easy to discern as your choices were simply good or bad, and it was easy to label someone and not look back.  As we expand, along with our parent universe, there is growing space between experiences, memories, thoughts, and ideas.  This space creates not only distance, but also perspective.  It takes longer to get from one moment to the next, not only due to the distance, but also due to the time it takes to process these multiple perspectives along the way.  A couple light years away, the earth, or ourselves, appears less significant amongst the large bodies of matter nearest to us, for we are something else, somewhere else, hence, someone else.  

So yeah, we find ourselves in a complicated, big universe where things can't be deduced so easily..  Well... Once you eat the fruit from that tree, you're damned to know the taste for eternity.  The taste of knowledge, or, dare I say, "good AND evil".. in other words, knowledge, pure and simple...

Once the yin and yang find balance, you have a neutral state, or some may say a karmic-neutral state.

yeah yeah, big long pretext to what is seemingly a simple point...

Sex...  What is it, and why do we view it or feel about it, the way the we do?  For some it's making children, or a simple physical release, the ownership of a partner, the sense of being owned, it's just 'my duty' as a good partner, the chore we complete to maintain a material or emotional relationship as it's a requisite of our partner but not one of our own, to hurt others, to hurt ourselves...  It goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on...  So many motivations behind the act, so many reasons to do it, and yet, so often it's very satisfying....

Now being the complicated individuals we are, we may have multiple gaps in emotional development that we will try to use sex to fill.  It may provide self worth, esteem, status, dominance, and such..  It may also feed the mentally diseased who need to feel abused, hurt, and used to feel as though they have a purpose, all be it miserable...

Okay, we have these needs, or desires...  Whatever we're walking into the bedroom with or without, we have to make a decision, am I here for me, or am I here for them?  If I'm here for me, then I try to steer the other person into taking on the role that I need to fulfill my desires that I have.  If I'm here for them, then I need to take on the role that will satiate their needs and desires.

Makes sense...  Now of course, in a perfect world we (as in more than one person) walk into the bedroom with complimentary needs and desires so as to satisfy each other, right?  This is ideally one of the more critical criteria that we would use when choosing a mate, right?  So why is it that people pretend in regards to their needs and desires early on, only to reveal their true orientation later?   Do we hide ourselves in fear that the potential for rejection is greater than our ability to cope with loneliness, so we pretend, enabling us to get 'so deep' into a relationship that it's difficult to turn around?  What's the gain there?  Perhaps, our partners will be stuck with us, and while they're not really the right match, if they're feeling generous, they could pretend!  oy...

Hm. So..  We know what could be in a perfect world, but what about the real world?  Can this wonderful complimentary relationship exist, where we mutually fulfill each others desires?  I'm struggling to believe it..  We're all damaged, and all in different ways, but if it were that simple, I think people would learn to be more open about who they are in a desperate attempt to find the right person in their lives.

So what is it?  Well...  Unfortunate as it is, humans tend to be very much alike..  We tend to want the same things, we just know these things by different names..  So...  What do we want?  This is where I start to lose focus, but for the sake of writing something down, my take at the moment is, we simply want to fill those gaps...  Whatever we believe will fill them, is what we seek.  and as, comforting as it would be, to say that men always want 'something' and women always want 'something', I don't know that I could truly agree...  My appetite has certainly....  evolved over the last few years, concurrent with the complexity of my personality.  So if we're constantly changing, and given that our partners are growing as people, they're constantly changing as well, then what hope is there for long term sexual compatibility between two people?  Seems like a long shot that two people would maintain the compatible needs for 5,10,20,30 years...  I want to believe I'm missing something here, and maybe I am, but for the moment, this is my perspective....

Maybe this is why religions generally advise us to suppress our sexual desires as people had figured out thousands of years ago that it's hopeless....  hmm... I just wish I had her in my arms so I could feel safe...Right now...I'm not feeling quite right...I can't put my finger on the situation but it seems as if something is amiss...If only I could get help but this help will only come once I know what is wrong...What the f**k is wrong with me?

Reviews

[CLM]

Interesting, you put the best part at the end and this is perhaps where you should begin the piece:

"Maybe this is why religions generally advise us to suppress our sexual desires as people had figured out thousands of years ago that it's hopeless.... hmm... I just wish I had her in my arms so I could feel safe...Right now...I'm not feeling quite right...I can't put my finger on the situation but it seems as if something is amiss...If only I could get help but this help will only come once I know what is wrong...What the f**k is wrong with me?"

You could drop "Maybe this is why" and have a great hook to get the reader into the piece. I would condense a lot of this. Less universal, more topical. It's a topical piece not necessarily a philosophical piece. I would also lose all those ellipses (...). You have way too many and they become crutch-like in the piece. As with all things like parentheticals, italics, etc - they are mechanical, not really language. Used very, very sparingly they are simply "okay" Overused they are distracting. If it were me I would keep the piece more personal and only let the externals come in in certain places. After all, what is more personal than sex?