Ash begins to Ice

oh yeah i memorized it.

Because you fade slowly

like the remaining embers of a fire

 

I have been ill

 

Not that my temperature rises

But that my temper falls

 

Fevers seem cold

Ash begins to ice

 

 

 

Reviews

[C Lee]

i really REALLY enjoyed this piece. embers as remains are a beautiful comparison. a small thought but residual, sad and provocative too.

[Write The Future]

very pretty piece...a lament of great quality. melancholia strikes in small thought waves...fortunately

lovely work toots
i

[Alia]

So crisp and refined. A short thought, but anything more and it would ruin this poem's effect. To start it with "Because" seems very fitting because... well, I keep thinking of transformations or metamorphoses, and the title automatically made me think along those lines. So it's as if you began the poem in the middle of one of these transformations... someone fading slowly like the remaining embers of a fire. That's really a tragically beautiful way to express loss, be it physical or spiritual.

Ash begins to ice is very resonant in and of itself. Good work.

Alia

[Invisible Ink]

Short and powerful, lovely but sad images, feeling the heat and the chill... I think of Frost's "Fire and Ice." It sounds like a death, either literally or not, the death of something that remains caught, because nothing can melt in the cold. These opposites are well described and combined in this poem.