Ash begins to Ice

oh yeah i memorized it.

Because you fade slowly

like the remaining embers of a fire

 

I have been ill

 

Not that my temperature rises

But that my temper falls

 

Fevers seem cold

Ash begins to ice

 

 

 

Reviews

[Legion]

Time is such a frigid wench. Love the lines:

"Not that my temperature rises

But that my temper falls"

That shows such wit. Love the whole piece. Kudos.

[Logan Carryall]

Thought it would ride easier on a stall at the end, losing the repetition. Central passage contains the most. I like this.

[Ed Rector]

i enjoyed this i think the third line is unnessisary but it's your poem... well done and keep it up...

[Mike P.]

f**k yea mind beats the machine! good job memorizing this!
6

p.s. f**k technology

[Richard Madison]

I liked this; probably the best piece I've read here so far.

[Brette Medb]

I like how this poem doesn't really end, it just is what it is. Short and full of conflicting emotions. Nice work.


Brette

[rachel D]

interesting concept. i like it a lot. ash begins to ice...... sends shivers of hot and cold down my spine.

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

This leaves me feeling emotionaly distraught. It lacks the imagery I like but thats just personal tastes and not a knock on your work.

Splendid.

Dave

[RAWR!]

sweet melancholia, melts into blissful hypomania.

[Jason S Breed]

I love the melancholy and the metaphor in this piece.
Another beautifully piece of work.