The Death

this is a short story i wrote..

When she looked in his eyes

She never knew that this is going to be the last time

She huged him goodbye and then walked away

The other day she came by his house to see him before summer ends

She climbed up the stairs and found him hanged

She said "i wont cry" and climbed back down the stairs

She went to the kitchen and picked up a dagger

And stabbed herself in the head

~TDD~

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

Good grief what a sight this brings to mind a hanging
then the knife~ a poignant dark intense piece to be sure

WeLL DonE!~Fran Marie

[O. Ragnarok]

.... a limerick?
No, not quite the right rhyme scheme, but it had that feel.
Anticlimactic, I suppose you could say. Not to mention, starting almost every sentance off with "she." Not the best thing I've read.

Although, I found it funny that she committed suicide over a guy. The way it was phrased, he seemed like someone random, too. She committed suicide over some random guy? And I'm supposed to feel pity for her?

[Frank F. Atanacio]

wow-- it was quick release of raw intensity... should have been longer but the message rang through loud and clear!!! Good job! :)