Thank You

As you know at this moment I'm struggling.

There are things I never said but only to you.

Thank you for supporting me in this battle.

But you still don't understand what I'm going through.

 

You know you're the only person I could rely on.

I know I’m being a burden when you're busy handling your own issue.

So I'm sorry adding to your troubles.

But please say it if you don't want to be by my side anymore

 

Deep inside I still hope you'll stay,

Because what I’m going through is too much to handle.

I need you to rely on.

But you could go if you want to,

Because that's better than making me feel more alone.

 

The traumatic experience I have with dad,

The tiring experience I have with mom,

Makes it difficult for me to open to them.

That's why I'm thankful for having you

But it seems I should stop depending on you.

 

I'm thankful for your time,

Thank you for listening, 

And most of all thank you for being there.

Because that's all I need, 

But now I’ll stop because I feel like you're getting tired.

 

Tired of listening,

Tired of late night dramas,

Tired of understanding,

Tired of just being there for me,

Just tired being someone I depend on.

 

But before I let you go just know,

This illness is not my choice,

I fight for my happiness all the time,

Those late night dramas I shared,

Keeping it I might go insane.

 

I did the things you told me.

You said distract myself,

And I did.

But still I cry myself to sleep.

Honestly nothing changes.

 

You made me believe that if I did something,

I will be happy.

But even if I did everything,

I still feel unhappy

I still feel empty.

 

I'm thankful for your support,

But now I understand,

You didn't understand me at all,

You just assume what I feel,

You just assume the answers to my problems.

 

But still thank you for being there,

Thanks for trying,

But now you could go.

Because it hurts me more if you stay,

It hurts me more believing things that you never understand.