Dead Eyes

My interpretation of all the pain I kept inside and how I found a way to survive.

If you’re so lucky to be one of the few people on this earth that I do not detest. Then do not take that for granted because low key I’m kinda the best.

I learned at a young age that I do not live for myself. Because of a time where I slowly started to care less and less about my physical health.

But then something happened that I couldn’t really believe. By some miracle in all that darkness I could finally see.

I finally noticed that the same pain and hell I felt everyday ever since the world decided I no longer deserved it’s light so it swooped in and stole it all away.

As I fell into a deep pit of darkness from which I’ll never be truly free. I found something down there reflecting the same pain that rampaged inside of me.

Thousands of beautiful broken souls hidden behind eyes that once saw the world in breathtaking shades of golds.

I want you to know there is no length I will not go to if you’re so lucky as to be called my friend, a text will never go unanswered and ill always come to the door to let you in.

Share with me your pain and your sorrow, so that maybe you can finally find some sleep and a little more peace in tomorrow.

For I have been kicked and ground down to the bone and I am painfully aware just how much it hurts to feel completely alone.

So do not hesitate to call me on your cellular phone. Because I’ve felt the emptiness and depression that comes with the pain of being completely alone.

I have danced on the edge of a place where I had no intention to ever return from. Only to be sat here still alive and amazed at how far I’ve come.

I want you to know that you are not alone because I have been there as well and I beg you to keep on going.

Keep struggling to survive in your own personal hell. Because one day you’ll wake up and realize life can be pretty swell.

So don’t sweat the small things in life that make you feel fear. You were meant to live and experience just how good life can actually get here.

So put that razer down clean up the blood as it rains to the ground. Yes it is hard and know that I also don't believe in a God.

So learn to be kind and learn how to drive those venomous thoughts out of your mind.

Open your eyes and see all the pain people keep bottled so tightly inside. Look for the words that they show so clearly with their eyes but could never imagine setting free to the skies.

But do not give them your sympathy and definitely do not try to give them your pity.

Because true understanding can only be found when you empathize. When you become the thing that brings the light back into people’s eyes as you annihalate everything that would try to make them break down and cry.

If you learn to love another even though you may hate how the mirror shows just how dead and ugly you feel inside. Then I promise one day you’ll look around and you will be so f*****g happy you are still alive.

Please, just please don’t be another victim of that selfish thing we call suicide. Don’t give the grim reaper the pleasure of having your beautiful soul at his side.

There once was a time that I too used to wander by his side. So I want to say thank you to everyone that doesn’t even realize, that because of your pain, because of how broken and dead you were inside. I’m still here. I’m still alive.

Author's Note

I get that this hits a touchy subject but if you or someone you know is considering hurting themselves. Don't sit there silent. Because you'll miss the way the light shined from their eyes.