The Confession

I wrote this monologue quite a while back after being inspired by watching the televised show Crime and Punishment with John Simm, I am thinking of expanding on it soon.

It was dark, I didn't know what else to do. I mourn sometimes, when reminiscing about what I have done. "time passes" I often think to myself, it passes. But this doesn't change how I feel about what I have done. How am I getting away with this? How am I getting away with what I have done? I have often thought of rectifications to my wrong doing, but everything I suggest has a disadvantage. For example running away will only cause suspicion, killing myself would be the actions of a cowardly individual and standing in court would only be inevitably concluded by me losing my mind and deteriorating in front of an angry crowd screaming for my death. I understand what I have done, but I can't expose what It is I have done subtly. I need somebody to talk about it to, but all of my dearest companions have always been in close contact with prominent people of high stature. And so.. it's too risky. 

I will not admit the mistake I have made to anyone. For gods sake would you f*****g listen to me! I am practically shrieking for forgiveness, I can't live in a place where everyone wants to kill this infamously notorious cold blooded killer, when the reality is that killer is me. Well, don't look all shocked about it! For months they have been looking for me, I can't live anymore like this anymore.. I can't live forever in captivity. I'm not asking for you to help me, I'm just asking for you to forgive me. I am not the man you think I am, I'm not the person you used to know. Just remember me how I was.. Say what you need, then leave, by morning I will tell them what I did, I'll take the punishment. I'll die. Just like my victims, but never forget that I love you. 

How dare you, she opened up to you and you couldn't give her the least bit of honesty about yourself. But how could I of exposed my crimes to somebody who I cared about so much, somebody who thought so greatly of me, yet was so arrogant to actually obtain any information she was telling me. You even know yourself, you're not normal, why would you want to make her carry your problems, the problems you created. You think you're something so important, something so prominent and significant, you think you're a leader.. creating your own policies that benefit yourself, but not others. You can't even explain why you do it, why do you deprive others from what you expect yourself. Non of them deserved to die, I treat you like a rodent.. like some unimportant lesser. I'm so sorry... I'll confess, I'll admit.. Now, what I did. 

*Clenches crucifix*

*Sheds tear and kisses crucifix in hand*

I killed them, I killed them all. The beggar in the street, the shop assistant, the two women that went missing three days ago.. It was me, they're dead too. I just get this thrill when I do it, the mental process during the physical process is overwhelming. 

*Looks at girl*

I'm a murderer. 

*Holds hands in air* 

*Directly to policeman*

*tear in eye*

Just take me away. 

Author's Note

Yeah, typed this up quite fast. It was duplicated from my other copy which was originally written by hand. So apologies if I have neglected any necessary punctuation and such.
Let me know what you think of the concept and premise of the story, as it's something I haven't really shared with anybody before.

Reviews

[4$H]

I love it! Brilliant. The ending is just amazing!!

[TheCrypticEye]

Thank you for the feedback, glad you liked. :)

[Clara]

I liked the rapid influx of thoughts and feelings in this monologue.
There are moments of confidence, defiance and even doubt through this piece.

Mental torture may be worse than a physical end.
Interesting write.

[TheCrypticEye]

Thanks for the feedback, I am glad you liked. :)