Not That Easy

Eat and live

Don’t and die.

You make it sound to simple.

It’s not like that.

Every day is a struggle.

Every day is a test.

It’s a test of will-

Who’s stronger?

Me?

Or my stomach?

I won’t be controlled by such a petty organ.

Mind over matter, right?

I’m stronger than I am hungry.

It’s an art, really-

Counting calories, measuring everything.

It’s not as simple as not eating.

It’s the mentality of the thing.

I can list the calories in pretty much

Everything I eat in a day.

And if I can’t name it off hand,

I have it written down.

I can tell you everything I’ve put

In my mouth today.

Can you do that?

Thought not.

It’s not like you make it sound.

Not at all.

I can’t just eat anything I want to.

Not anymore.

I think about everything

That’s put on my plate.

It’s not a choice. It’s the way my mind works.

I can’t help it anymore.

For you, it’s a choice.

For me, it’s subconscious.

It’s not just about eating

Or not eating.

It’s about control, power, beauty.

If I eat that, I have no self-control.

My stomach rules me.

I fail.

And failure is a hard thing to

Stomach for a perfectionist like me.

“Stomach” haha, funny, huh?

When you look at me,

You see a pretty, happy, strong girl with friends.

You see a thin girl.

You see everything I don’t.

I see a fat, weak girl.

I see a pig, a s**t, a backstabber.

What was it you said, again?

Eat and live?

Or don’t and die?

I got news for you, buddy.

It ain’t that simple.

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Wow... real thoughts for some, very nice write, love what is about, it can for sure be a struggle. Don't doubt yourself though just from food, everyone must eat. Stay healthy, don't starve yourself, it isn't needed. Sad touching write.

[CrimsonDecorum]

o.o you are pretty, Hannah.

[Rose of Gondor]

:( I've heard that some people have to starve themselves to stay what they believed to be "fit". :( this is really sad, but really true at the same time. It isn't that simple. love it!