Yearning

A sickly desperate want...

Have my skies been blue?
Nay, say I, not without you.

Don't you remember how much i need you to feel like I'm me?
Goodness, you just left me out at sea,
With nothing to hold onto but a distant memory.

I know you are faulty, just as I am.
But can't you see?

Just let us be,
We have to be part of a plan.

I take you as you are,
Hold my pride deep inside,
Just so you won't see how hard i cried.

So I'll come in from the sea,
And we will play in the sand,
And lend to this fire, a fan.

Author's Note

please review...

Reviews

[Alex Davis]

I like the piece a lot! your content is solid and I love the diction and syntax you use to pull it together. My only suggestion would be to use a more uniform rhyming style throughout. Switching it is okay, don't get me wrong, but allowing each pattern to flow a bit more before moving to the next would make it that much better. :)

[Suze]

I really like the last line a lot, very good ending. You did a great job of rhyming without it sounding like a nursery rhyme (which is what always happens to me, lol).

[Distant horizons]

Beautifully heartfelt write.