Yearning

A sickly desperate want...

Have my skies been blue?
Nay, say I, not without you.

Don't you remember how much i need you to feel like I'm me?
Goodness, you just left me out at sea,
With nothing to hold onto but a distant memory.

I know you are faulty, just as I am.
But can't you see?

Just let us be,
We have to be part of a plan.

I take you as you are,
Hold my pride deep inside,
Just so you won't see how hard i cried.

So I'll come in from the sea,
And we will play in the sand,
And lend to this fire, a fan.

Author's Note

please review...

Reviews

[Alex Davis]

I like the piece a lot! your content is solid and I love the diction and syntax you use to pull it together. My only suggestion would be to use a more uniform rhyming style throughout. Switching it is okay, don't get me wrong, but allowing each pattern to flow a bit more before moving to the next would make it that much better. :)

[kelvin]

good writing here you describe the title of your work here. keep writing fellow writer

[Katie Flores]

Thanks Kelvin.

[kelvin]

you are so welcome

[Mauricio Montoya]

The title fits, I can feel what you feel as I read, love how this piece comes together.
Great job, well done.

[Catherine]

wow. love it. it's just the right amount of sappy.

[Sami Khalil]

you just left me out at sea... Good write.

[Katie Flores]

thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome.

[tanveer]

awesome..... and lend to this fire, a fan.... loved it...

[Wolf]

Let it die down
all out, the expose ends
fire bends you
back. ;)

[Thea]

Aw...The emotions in this poem flowed perfectly in the whole piece...I can really feel the yearning of love in this...Well done!
:)))

[Cassie Fraga]

ooooohhh how I feel the plea... you express with amazing imagery here!! thank you for sharing!!

[Renée]

I love ur description " a sickly desperate want"...love can be that way at times can't it? .. ..