Wisdom

You may think wisdom comes with age, but wisdom can be granted to the ones who are able to understand the most challenging problems...

It was a peaceful spring afternoon. All of the animals were doing their daily errands. A young fox pup trotted through the forest, following his young mother. He was excited for what fun he was going to have. His mother was going to take him to a meadow where he could play all day. He broke into a run as his mother began to pick up her pace. He barked to his mother, but she did not look back. When she stopped, he did too. 

The mother fox poked her head out into the dull clearing and looked around. She nodded for the pup to stay put and she took one, slow step forward. Her head jerked around when she heard the slightest sound. When she saw there was no danger, she gestured for the pup to come.

The pup was so excited that he ran ahead of his mother.

"Roko!" She barked.

Roko bounced around with delight. He watched as grasshoppers fluttered up from the tall grass. He looked back at his mother and grinned. "Yes, mother!"

The fox walked over to her pup and licked his ear. "Don't run too far." She sat down and pulled thick and fluffy tail over her paws. She sighed as the warm rays of the sun shined down on her. Her fur glistened, like a shimmering star. She was a beautiful fox that any other male fox could ever dream of. That is why her mother named her Vixen. But only one fox caught her heart. He was the wisest of all foxes and was the protector of the forest.

Suddenly a noise caught Vixen's attention. She whipped her head to the side and stared at the direction the noise had come from. She slowly rose to her paws, squinting her eyes. Her eyes widened when she realized it was a hunter! "Roko!" She barked.

Roko stopped what he was doing and turned to his frightened mother. "Yes?"

"Run!" She glanced at him, trying to keep her eyes on the hunter. "Run!" She growled.

Roko lowered himself. He was frightened and very confused. But realizing that he might be in danger he did what his mother said, and ran. He looked back, making sure his mother was following. She was.

Vixen knew that one of them was not going to make it out of the meadow. Her heart was pounding faster and faster as she drew closer to the edge of the meadow. She quickly leaped over an old and worn out log.

The sound of a gunshot made Roko slid into a hollow bush. He was shivering with fear as he turned to see if his mother was with him. "Mother?" He looked around, trying to find her. He looked out into the meadow and saw the color of her fur on the ground. He saw his poor mother's body laying on the ground limp. His heart began to beat fast. he didn't know what to do. He could hear the sound's of the hunter coming close, and he decided to run. 

Night began to fall, and Roko was still running. He soon began to slow down when he started to come up to a waterfall. He stopped in a patch of bright grass at the edge of the water and stared at the glistening waterfall. His eyes were dull with depression. He could not believe that his mother was dead. But he knew that he had to keep moving. If he didn't, then he could be killed.

"My son." A soft and gentle voice called. 

Roko's eyes widened and he narrowed his eyes at the waterfall. A tall and might white fox appeared in front of him. The fox had bright antlers and nine, long and wiry tails. "W-who are you?" He whimpered, crouching low.

The might fox gave him the soft expression of sympathy. "I see that your mother has been killed. That is unfortunate. My deepest apologies." He dipped his head.

Roko slowly realized that this fox was not going to harm him, so he slowly rose up. "How did you know that?"

"I am the protector of the forest." The fox answered.

Roko realized that his mother used to tell him stories about how his father was the protector of the forest. "Just a second ago you called to me as your son. Is that true?" He stared at the fox.

"Yes. My name is Hango." He lowered his head to Roko and let out a huge sigh. "I have come to retrieve you. My only son. I will take you and train you to be the next protector of the forest."

"Why?" Roko cocked his head.

"Because you understand the circle of life. All your life, Vixen has taught you how things die and why. She was preparing you for this day. She has done well." Hango said.

Roko stood there, staring into his father's white eyes. "I do understand. But will being the protector of the forest make a difference. You couldn't save my mother. Your mate!" Roko was starting to be consumed by anger.

"My son, I could not interfere. That was not my place. I could not save her because it was her time." Hango touched his nose to Roko's. "I am very sorry. But come with me. You will be protected, and with an extra help, we will be able to save more."

Roko stood there for a moment. A warm and reassuring feeling engulfed him, making him feel safe. He knew that this was his mother telling him to go, and he looked up at his father. "Okay." He grinned as his father rose up his head. He then bounced off after his father as he began to walk into the waterfall.

Reviews

[Brenderson]

Amazing details! It was very intriguing, good work!

[TheBubbleManiac]

Thank you very much!

[ExquisiteEyes]

Its amazing. You have used many words that help the reader to picturize the story. Keep up the good work!

[TheBubbleManiac]

Thank you!

[Jacob Clifford]

You have many beautiful details in this story. It helps draw a picture and make it all seem real. It's very easy to overdo it with details - just make sure the details don't take over the story and take away from the progression. In addition, while writing, always keep in mind that what you write is clear and concise. Meaning: does this make sense? Does it have more words than it needs? Another thing that is all too easy to do is tell instead of show. One example: "'You couldn't save my mother. Your mate!' Roko was starting to be consumed by anger." What did this look like? Instead of just simply saying he was mad, tell us what it looked like - was he scowling, was he shaking, were his eyes venomous?
You might look at all the suggestions I made and think I didn't like the story, but I really did. This is a good little tale. It has a lot of potential and space to grow into. Good luck with writing to come!

[TheBubbleManiac]

Thank you very much, and I understand what you mean. I'll keep working on that!

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Exquisite language and imagery! You immediately involve your readers in the story and your characters are finely drawn.

You have the gift of selecting words that enhance the deep emotions through the dialogue.

This are my favorite lines from the story

"Roko slowly realized that this fox was not going to harm him, so he slowly rose up. "How did you know that?"
"I am the protector of the forest." The fox answered.
Roko realized that his mother used to tell him stories about how his father was the protector of the forest. "Just a second ago you called to me as your son. Is that true?" He stared at the fox.
"Yes. My name is Hango." He lowered his head to Roko and let out a huge sigh. "I have come to retrieve you. My only son. I will take you and train you to be the next protector of the forest."
"Why?" Roko cocked his head."

[TheBubbleManiac]

Thank you so much. It is a pleasure to know people's opinions on my writings!