The Last Straw

The weekend passed by quickly. As usual my siblings where being carted off to various clubs and activities all the time, stopping briefly for showers, breakfast, snacks, dinner and sleep. It's like that song: Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat. Accept in the Tallico household it's: Eat, Sport, Shower, Sleep, Repeat. That fits quite nicely I think!

I spent the weekend in my room; studying, listening to music, napping and trying to do a pirouette. They're harder then they sound! I am obsessed with Dance Moms and have the box set Season 1-5 plus all the Choreographers Cuts saved on my TV. I know it sounds foolish but I dream of wanting to be a dancer. I know right - cringe. I brought it up to mom once and all she said was "oh don't be silly darling, dance is not a sport! I'd rather die then see you dance anyway, I mean you'd be awful!" I guess that's a firm no then.

It's 5:30 on a Monday morning and I am awoken by the thumping sounds coming from downstairs in Peyton's, Courtney's and Stephanie's bedroom. This is a regular occurrence that I am used to. They all always get up at the crack of dawn in order to look, in their eyes, flawless. I think they look like caked up Barbie Dolls but whatever.

I get up at 6, have a shower, throw on yesterday's clothes, (they don't smell - promise) brush my hair and teeth and grab my bag. It's gone 6:45 when I get down to the kitchen. Jason's sat at the breakfast bar with Courtney and Peyton. Stephanie's starting their car, ready to leave at 7.

Technically, Peyton doesn't even need to get up until now. Her bus, along with Owen and James, doesn't come until 7:45. My bus comes at 7:10 and Jason, Courtney and Stephanie need to be at school by 7:20. Mom isn't even up yet and Dad has been at work for over an hour already.

"Eden, go get Owen and James up." Courtney snaps looking at me in annoyance as if I've done something.
"Why me?"
"Because I said so." Courtney orders, stomping out the house. "Jason be in the car in five minutes." She calls before slamming the door.
Peyton goes off to practise 'cat walking' without saying a word. Jason gives me a semi-sympathetic shrug and passes me his bowl.
"Wash up will you? Dads not put the dishwasher on." Charming, I think to myself. He strolls out the door oozing in confidence. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of my older brother and sisters. Crap I'm going to be late.
••••••••••
After scrubbing the dishes, grabbing the boys out of bed and throwing cereal at them in a space ten minutes. I nearly miss the bus and end up having to sit in the overflow seat, next to the driver, who stinks of BO and last nights curry and booze.

I get to Homeroom and sit down, immediately putting on my invisibility shell. I call it that because I sit motionless for as long as I can, staring at nothing in particular. Nobody talks to me anyway I'm just known as the Loser Tallico, even the teachers say it by accident, which of course is followed by a chorus of laughter and jeering.

At lunch, I get a chocolate milk sloshed all over me.
"Oops it was an accident tee hee" was Dana Quinn's apology.

I end up spending the afternoon , skipping class, sat by the dumpster trying to get the stains out with old McDonalds napkins I found on the floor. I then sit on the ground crying my eyes out wishing I could just disappear forever. Of course I don't.

I'm walking up to the house after school feeling deflated when I catch a tail end of sentence from the open kitchen window.

"... I told Eden to do the washing up and she did" I hear Jason say nonchalantly.
"Yeah but she was being so lazy this morning." Courtney added. "I got the boys out of bed, dressed and breakfasted before she'd even stretched!" She added smugly, Peyton and Stephanie agree with her.
"It's not surprising. She's a big fat lazy cow and a bit of an embarrassment really." Mom says, I hear chuckles and agreements from the girls at Moms statement. Anger boils inside of me and I begin to see red mist, fogging up my thoughts.

I storm into the house, making everyone in the kitchen jump in shock.
"That is it! I am freaking sick of this family judging everything I do and being backstabbing bullies. I got the boys up this morning not Courtney! She's a liar and a fake like all of you! You are all immature brats blinded by winning and popularity." I angrily sob. I hear Mom, Courtney and Stephanie giggle like school girls.
"Honey what are those stains all over your shirt and pants?" Mom asks airily. The girls cackled at her question.
"She's pooped herself." Peyton squealed followed by more immature squeals.
"Guys stop-" Jason starts but I interrupt him.
"Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?! It's chocolate milk actually, I got it tipped on me by a person at school, on purpose, like I do every Monday!" For once they were all quiet.
"I am done. I'm leaving this house and everyone in it!" I shout glaring at them all. I run up the stairs two at a time and gather up as many things as I can into my backpack. Ignoring my stupid relatives, who couldn't careless, they're already talking about cheerleading anyway.

I walk out the house and slam the door to be dramatic - childish I know but who can blame me.
"Eden wait!" I hear Jason shout. I turn around to see him running after me. "I'm sorry. For everything. Don't listen to them. They are childish brats, Mom included, I can't believe her sometimes..." We both shake our heads solemnly.
"I know you need sometime to clear your head but call me when you're ready to come back, during football practise or not, I'll pick you up." He says sincerely. I nod, touched by his words. He hugs me hard.
"I feel the same sometimes. The girls and Mom talk like that about me to." He whispers, shocked I look at him wide eyed.
"I always stood up for you Eden. Even if it didn't seem it." A tear slides down my face.
"Thank you Jas."
"Love you, stay safe please Eden."
"I will. Love you to." I reply giving him a mock salute, which earns me a chuckle, before walking out of the driveway.

Not even a minute later my iPhone 5S buzzes. It's a text message notification - interesting nobody every texts me.
Jason Tallico: Check ur left pocket x
Confused I stuff my hand in my pocket. I feel paper that wasn't there before and pull it out. $30! Oh my gosh! He must have put in there when we hugged. Gratefulness fills my heart and I nearly start crying.
Eden Tallico: JASON WHAT?!?! I can't accept this.
Jason Tallico: Yes u can. Pay me back later if u really want to. Be safe LYSM x
Eden Tallico: thank u bro LYSM X

I don't get a reply but looking at the time, 4:00, he's probably making dinner. He always makes the dinners every night but mom always takes the credit. Sick I know. Sighing I take out my earphones. Turn up my music and ignore the world.

Reviews

[Eliza Williams]

I think this has a lot of potential, and so far it's pretty good. I think you could go back over the dialogue and make sure it doesn't sound too cliche or 'typical'. Also make sure you have the right words? Like 'gratitude' would be better that 'gratefulness' maybe?
Also make sure that you have a new line for each new line of dialogue.
Just little things like checking it.
Good start! x