Good Bye, Herb

Part Five of Tales from the Alternate Universe. Story Prompt: “You hear news of your next-door neighbor vanishing without a trace.”

I wake to birds chirping. A single beam of light through the blinds greets my eye, and I can already tell it’s beautiful outside. I check my phone. It’s a little after seven. I roll back over and nestle myself under the covers. No reason to get up this early on a Saturday.

As I try to fall back asleep, arguing with myself over whether I should just get up and try to be productive, I’m sent into high alert when my phone rings. I reach for it, but even before I grasp hold, I recognize that it’s not my cell phone ringing. It’s the house phone.

I let it ring, figuring it can’t be important and wondering why I still bother having a phone in my house at all. It’s never anything but sales calls. After five rings, everything goes silent, and I return to debate with myself. 

It rings again, sending me into furious annoyance. What the f**k? I lift myself up and stomp towards the phone and tear it from the wall. 

  

“Hello?” 

  

“Hey, Bill. It’s Debbie from next door.”

“Oh,” I say. What the hell does she want? I almost say it out loud.

“Good morning Debbie. How are you?”

“Not so great…” She sighs, “Herb vanished last night. I’m not sure what happened. One second he was next to me, and the next he was gone - poof, just like that, without a trace.”

“Wow…” I sigh, “That’s so unlike him.”

"Yeah. Well, we’re rallying some people to go out and search for him. Would you mind?”

Would I mind? It’s seven o’clock on a Saturday morning. Of course I mind. Still, I don’t want to be a dick.  

   

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be right over.”

“Thanks, Bill. You’re the best,” Debbie says. I hang up. I can’t believe he finally did it. I’ve been telling Herb to get the hell out of that miserable life of his for the last five years, and at last the lovable old b*****d listened. I wonder if I’ll ever see him again. As much as I like him, I hope I don’t, and that he finds whatever happiness he deserves.