Feathers

A reflection on a stance I had to take a few months back. It's one of the only thing I've written in a year, but it's the beginning of something else. Completely freeverse and devoid of any outside influences other than my state of mind at the time of w

I drifted in and out of solace for the longest years...
Outerspace, where the stars were crashing into fireflies
heat lightning that would brighten the whole universe
and then I was...
A f r a i d of being anythingbutwith you,

I should have seen the rain
like drops of haziness
falling from God's most sacred...
I should have seen the rain
falling
burning when it hit,
on skin... trees... streets...

All things that were once held so dear to me.
I felt like nothing.
Like my brother's keeper
My lover's house
A place where only one of us felt safe...
On that street that went one way...
to useless talents and wastes of money
time, energy
our one time was that drunken encounter
and then two years of
nothing...
you could have done anything...
nothing...
the longest years...

Like a whole line of filthy black crowes on a fence
flapping their black wings one by one
losing their feathers two by two...
We were at the bottom catching them in baskets...
one little problem after another
until they were stacked too high
and we couldn't see over the hills we'd created
and we buried ourselves alive.

Author's Note

Spacing or lack there of is on purpose. Is it coherent?

Reviews

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

You have great images clashing. Organizing them into stanzas perhaps could help. :]
The poem has rich descriptions and has a direct relation discourse with a significant other.
I sensed longing. And some regret as well.

A good write.

Punishment

[Akash]

NICE imagery...
Vivid plot with a flow of creativity flowing.
On whole you comprehend the work....so you don't have to worry.
I find this very good.

Lucky to find this around

Luck
-akash-

[Butterflymom]

This is incredible, creative, well written, and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing this piece. GREAT JOB!