He wasn't worth it...

Emotional Story. I hope.

How many times can we admit that we are guilty of avoiding someone in need? I know I have and to be honest I always thought that I had a valid reason even though I found that my reason usually was that "it wasn't my problem" or that "I was too busy and in a hurry". I suppose a common thought amongst people who observe those in need is that most of the time they have gotten themselves into this situation. I suppose that could be true but could you hand on heart tell me that you have never needed help?

For the purpose of this passage I will refer to the main "character" as Luke. Luke was a teenage boy, not your typical teenage but not unusual either. He'd just left school and he was attending the sixth form college linked to his school. With him now being in college he wasn't allowed to get on the school bus which saw him walking across town, passing through the town centre on his journey. Over the months of walking to and from college there were many people he would pass on his daily journey, some going to work, some going to school, some even going home from the pub!

Every morning Luke would walk into town a little bit earlier in the winter to watch the sunrise, headphones, high view and a rising sun can really put things in perspective and this was something that kept all the strangeness at bay for him. 

But there was one however, that did not fit any of those categories. This man would look at Luke every day as he passed on his travels, glance up from staring at his feet. When Luke glanced back, it was almost as if he had disturbed the man from reviewing every moment of his life in his mind, that deep concentration kind of look. He didn't look like the sort of person who could think of much, multiple tatty tracksuits, mixed and matched judging by the colour and brand differences, shoulder length greasy black hair which looked like the contents of a fast-food fryer had been emptied on his head. He had a black and grey beard that reminded him a bit of both Hagrid and Professor Dumbledor from Harry Potter. Not even his shoelaces match the trainers he wore, Luke's conclusion was that either he had robbed multiple sports shops and had been dragged through a field backwards or he had been wearing those clothes for a long time.

Within a split second of the shared glance between the two, the man was cast from Luke's thoughts as he continued to college that morning. Or was he? for some strange reason, after months of noticing this man, a man who never spoke a word, never asked for anything and never presented a threat to Luke or anyone else, Luke couldn't stop thinking about him. Almost like your first school crush just without the "in love" kind of feelings. Why was he thinking about some random man who lives in a town centre alleyway who bares no significance to Luke's life in anyway? 

Luke finished college for the day and began his walk home. Home, not the four walls and a roof, but the people inside them, the people who share your blood, who gave you life, who love you and would do anything for you and a place you can always go to feel safe, wanted and loved. Something that some people didn't have. With Luke only being an early teenager, he knew of the problems of the world but has never really come face to face with them, what would he do if this man looked at him again? Now he has been thinking about this man for a whole day, wondering how he got to that place, what on earth could have happened for him to resort to sitting on a street and not even asking for spare change? Did he do this to himself? Was he unfairly treated by other people which caused him to loose his way? Luke knew he could easily find out and it wasn't that he didn't want to, he didn't know where to even start.

Luke decided not to take his usual way home. Something as simple as walking past a man sat on the floor suddenly became a bit of a task for him, he wanted to help but he didn't know what to do. He wished he could take him home and let him live with him and his family until he was ready to go back into the world again but he knew that couldn't happen. Luke took the long way home and every step of the way he was wondering how many more people were on the streets? How many more like the man he has so easily passed before just get ignored by the rest of the world? A problem to be swept under the carpet. The moment Luke got home he was greeted by his loving mother, as she always did. She would ask him how his day was to which he would usually reply with the same answer of " boring " and walk away but tonight was different. From the moment he opened his front door, he seemed to have a much greater appreciation for what he had in his life.

The fact he had a front door to actually open and close, something to lock at night to keep him safe. Windows, where you can observe the outside world but nothing can touch you, where you can open them to share your life without the outside world or close them to have your own privacy. Luxuries like a TV mounted on the wall, the computers, games consoles, CD-Players, Guitars and Amps then list is endless. He sat over dinner savouring everything he put into his mouth knowing that there were people who have not tasted anything like this in a long time. The meal wasn't anything special, it was a hedgehog . Not an actual hedgehog, don't worry, but a named dish his mother had created consisting of mashed potatoes, sausages and beans all put together to look like the spikey animal. Nothing special right? Of course there wasn't anything special, it was only something silly but at the same time, everything was special about it. Nobody else he knew had this specific dish, certainly not the man on the street, would he ever eat something like this again? 

The stomach turning thoughts suddenly put Luke off his food and he went upstairs to wash up and catch an early night. With everything going on in his mind that day he hadn't paid much attention to anything else and he suddenly noticed that it had started snowing outside. How wonderful! Perhaps the snow would stick around until Christmas in a few weeks? Luke got really excited for a moment but then stopped, his mind had reverted back to thinking about the man. Something was bothering Luke, he felt more curiosity than any other feeling about this man and others like him, surely they couldn't actually live on a street he thought. 

Physically Luke's body had developed at a standard rate but there was something about his mind, it seemed to fall behind everything else, he always seemed to be late for things. Not just in a physical time sense but in the sense of, he was never quite ready when everyone else was. Still quite childish in his mind he went to bed, certain that the man on the street would be in a be somewhere nice, having a hot chocolate to keep warm.

Sun rose the next morning and the snow had laid thick on the ground! Luke raced to the TV to see if his college had been closed for the day but sadly it was open. Luke seemed to have woken up in a rather happy mood and he hadn't even shed a thought about the man he so carefully thought about the previous day. Perhaps he had convinced himself that he was fine and looking after himself? Perhaps he thought it was just a dream? Luke headed off to college, headphones on and his morning energy drink and decided that since the snow had laid quite thickly in his town he would take the long way to college and take some pictures of the historical roads with huge trees on either side that seemed to stretch for miles into the sky. This was great! He had never felt so happy to be alive and he didn't even know why he felt like this.

The snow stayed for quite a few days before beginning to melt and every day the snow laid, Luke would take different ways to college to take as many pictures of the beautiful sights as he could. When the snow eventually did melt, he resumed his usual path to college. Walking through the town centre, like always, and then back the same way to go home. A week or two must have passed before Luke walked through the alley on his way home when he stopped and turned to his left and looked at the floor.

The space was empty, how strange he thought. After months of this man sitting there day in, day out, this one day he wasn't there. Always thinking of the positives before any negatives, Luke's first thought was that the man had gotten some help and was now living in a nice house, perhaps he would come back to this spot for old times sake? He continued walking thinking to himself that if the man had stayed there any longer they'd have probably built a statue of him!  

A few days later, after walking past the spot the man would once sit, stopping for a few moments twice a day, Luke again walked up the alley and stared at the empty spot with a smile. He was glad he wasn't seeing someone sat there anymore although he did miss the smile. Pulling him out of his thoughts by a tap of the shoulder, Luke instantly turned to find a Police Office standing behind him. He took off his headphones and asked the officer if everything was okay.

"I've seen you stop and stare at that spot for weeks now son, every day without fail. You expecting someone to be there or something?" the office asked him, Luke chuckled and explained that he believes he had an unspoken friendship with a man who used to sit there. He told him that for many months a many in a tatty tracksuit and greasy black hair would glance up and smile at him and continued to tell him that he was happy the man has fixed his life now.

It would seem that the more Luke thought it about it, the more fact it became...in his mind. He always wanted to believe in the good in the world and he either couldn't see that something were just bad or he was very good at ignoring them!

The Police Office stared at Luke with a blank expression yet he could tell there were hints of sadness in his eyes. The officer asking him his name and so he told him. "Luke, is this the man who used to smile at you?" The officer reached into his pocket at pulled out a picture. Unbelievable! It was the very same man, except, he wasn't the same. He had no beard, his hair was short and neatly cut and he wore a very nice looking suit. Luke wondered who the woman and little boy were in the photo with him but he didn't ask. He must have had this photo taken when he got his new place! Maybe he found a girlfriend who already had a son and they're just trying to make sure he's okay. Luke told the officer he recognised the man, but the man he saw looked a bit different and began explaining what he looked like to him. The officer began taking notes of what Luke was saying and what seemed like a two minute conversation lasted for around an hour. Neither of them noticed the people stood staring at the pair, thinking the officer might arrest Luke.

"Thank you" the officer said as he put away his notebook, your description matches the one we were given by the memorial hospital a few weeks ago. Hospital? What hospital? Why on earth were the hospital giving the police a description of his silent friend? 

"I don't quite understand. He's happy isn't he? He's sorted his life out...right?" Luke asked hesitantly.

The officer placed both hands on Luke's shoulders, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this son, but the man you saw sitting on the streets all that time... well... he passed away a few weeks ago when the snow fell..."

Shocked but mostly refusing to accept what he had just been told to be the truth Luke stepped back and the officers arms dropped back by his side.

"His name was James, he was a retired Army Vet from around here, he did two tours of Iraq and was awarded a medal for bravery when he rescued a fellow solder who was pinned down by enemy fire" the police officer began to explain.

"He came back from war and was told to get a job" the officer began to look at the floor, almost as if he was trying to hide his face which is when Luke stepped back towards him. The officer wiped his eyes, trying not to reveille his tears when he sleeve would ride up his arm a bit to reveal a Help For Heros band and what looked like Army tattoos on his forearm. 

"Sorry son, he was told to get a job and he simply couldn't adjust back to civilian life. People told him it was all in his head and that he would get over it but he never did. One night he packed his things and went. He was never seen again, until now..."

Luke couldn't believe what he was hearing, everything else in his life suddenly seemed to small, unimportant compared to what this Police Officer had just told him. Slowly turning away he began to process the events.

"There was a real life hero in the heart of this town, nobody knew about him, he never asked for anything and he never begged for anything and when he died he was alone..." Luke turned back to the Police Officer " he died alone and nobody even noticed!" the tears were beginning to flood the barriers of his eyes but he didn't care at this point. 

How many more? How many more have had this happen and nobody has even noticed. The officer put his arm around Luke to comfort him. Luke felt somewhat responsible as he had actually noticed the man, James, when others didn't and he still didn't do anything to help him. Could he have done more? Would it have made a difference? Would he still be alive if he offered him money, food, shelter? The officer escorted Luke to the nearby station where they rang his mother to come and pick him up. They explained everything to her over the phone and as soon as Luke saw his mother coming up the hall, he greeted her with the biggest embrace he had ever given anyone in his short life on this planet.

Fast forward nearly ten years. Luke met a woman, she already had a child but that didn't matter because he loved them both and to this day, if you ever seen Luke walking through his town centre, you will find that he always stops at that alleyway he used to walk up to go to college, he'd stop and stare at the floor where he new James would be from time to time. His girlfriend and step son would look, not knowing what he saw but feeling what he felt, she would smile at him and reassure him that things get better and if you looked closely, you will see that they all have the Armed Forces Support Bands on. In fact, he never takes it off. 

This story is dedicated to all the people who are on our streets, whether you are there by choice, accident or through your own actions. From someone who has been there and bounced back I can promise you that things do work out as long as you don't give up. If you are reading this and know of somebody similar to James, sometimes something as small as a Hot Chocolate could help. 100 people ignoring is fine as long as there is at least 1 who can see.

T.A

Author's Note

This is my first story, it goes well with some piano backing music if you're into that sort of thing. I am no writer, I'm just a person who tells my own story.