What are we really (part 1)

A young man named Mark moves to the city of Gnosis -the city of learning- in Alberta, Canada to get away from a troubling home only to find a bit more trouble.

2012 August 21th 

 Flying in on the early plane too Gnosis, Alberta, -My new home- I felt such a great amount of joy that I could barely keep myself from turning to jello in my seat; my face was flush and warm and I was so relaxed and relived. I was finally free of a demon I once looked up to and trusted with my whole heart. My only hope is that it doesn't happen again....

 I'm the adopted son of a rather wealthy family living in Montreal. The reason I'm moving to Gnosis and the rest of my family isn't is, complicated and... hard; but the end result is I was allowed to move away to finish high school and then to go onto university in a city completely dedicated to learning!

 A lot of people of the scientific and academic communities come here for a variety of meetings, lectures, fairs, and classes from all over the world. This city is basically the modern version of the Library of Alexandria except it isn't lost. From what I hear, Even Free Life was developed here, but that's not important right now. 

 What is important is that when I got to my apartment, already filled with my belongings, I starting considering how to greet my new neighbour's when a knock came to my door; it caught me off guard and made me jump. I stared at it for a moment before getting up to answer it. No one in this city knew me yet... Other then the Principal of my new school.

 When I opened the door I smiled and said hello only to see no one there... Or so it seemed. Something short whisked past me and into my room. I turned after it to try and see what just came in but it was out of sight in a heart beat. Suddenly the door knob is forced free from my hand and the door swings shut. I quickly turned back to look at it and found a girl about a head shorter then I, thin, long, charcoal black hair, sharp dark blue eyes and quite the fearsome look. I fell into panic mode, but before I could react, I was tackled down to the ground; the girl forced her lips on mine, slipped her tongue in and coerced mine into hers. My body was tense, I couldn't move or resist, I was scared to the point of feeling noshes. This felt all too familiar and I knew what would come next, *chomp!* or... maybe not?

 My cry of pain was muffled by the girls mouth but she seemed to find it amusing to listen to as she bit down on my tongue until I bled; it felt like she was about to bite it clean off, but she didn't. She seemed to be really enjoying this as I passed out from shock... and maybe blood loss.

 This was not what I considered for meeting my new neighbors.

 When I woke up I found myself alone on the floor in front of my door. It was dark and I could smell blood, as the muscles in my face moved to show a look of discomfort, I felt dried blood crack and peel around my mouth. I touched around my mouth to feel it more, hoping I was imagining it. My heart was beating hard again and I was dizzy. I felt the need to touch my tongue even though it felt fine. It appeared whole.

 I got up and went to the bathroom to look myself over further. In the mirror I saw that my clothes and hair were all roughed up blood was indeed caked on my face. A little bit was smeared on my shirt. I felt unsure of what to do so I simply cleaned off my face. I went threw my apartment flicking on the lights wondering if my attacker was still here. She was.

 I found the little monster in the kitchen cooking... I found rather odd. I stared at the back of her head as she worked away. As I did so, the aroma coming from the food; I found it to be quite enticing. Strangely enough, I became more concerned with the food then the intruder. My stomach growled abruptly and at the sound, the girl glanced back at me.

 "I'm almost done" she said, looking back at her work. "I went a little overboard when I drank and you ended up unconscious... I figure the least I could do is make you dinner. I should mention, you need more iron in your diet; are you anemic?" She asked in a somehow mocking tone "You are the best I've had in... Well you're the best I've ever had, you know? I didn't even know it could be that good... Which is why I'll be taking ownership of you. Wouldn't want anyone else getting their fangs into you."

 I couldn't really think of anything else to say other then, "What?!"

 The girl hummed a sigh and said "Don't worry about it, just means you'll be feeding me once a day."

 "Feeding... You?"

 "Mhm. I'll be a little more careful not to hurt you so badly again. Wouldn't be healthy for you to keep going threw that and the worse your health the less good your blood will be to me."

 "My blood?"

 "Yes, yes your blood; now quite your gawking and sit down, Shithead!" she demanded in annoyance.

 Without being aware of it, I did as she commanded and sat down at my small table for two, and stopped watching her in confused disbelief. My anxiety was still running high though. I held my head in my hands by the temples and continued to wrap around what was going on. It all sounded insane, it made no sense what so ever. Unfortunately the non-sense was going to continue. For how long? I wish I knew but I'm no god!

 Soon enough the girl put down a plate full of food in front of me, then sat down opposite of me. She slouched over the table and crossed her arms under her chin.

 "Where did she get all of this stuff? I haven't even gone shopping yet!"

 "Eat, or I'll force you to eat it."

 I felt apprehensive but I didn't deny her. I felt no desire to do as she asked of me but I feared her and if I learned anything from the demon, its that I have no hope of getting away or disobeying.

 When the food hit my tongue though, I was surprised by just how good it was. I took a proper look at what was on my plate as I chewed slowly, I realized it was Indian food. My fear faded and my nerves relaxed as I forgot about everything else and simply indulged in the taste and smell of the food. What she did to it to make it do this to me, I still don't know.

 When I finished, tonight's chef sat up straight and said "there's more in the fridge so make sure to eat it as well. I'll come back again tomorrow evening. Don't bother making dinner for yourself, I'll do it again once I've eaten, I figure that's a bit more fair; can make sure you're eating right as well."

 "What makes you think I won't leave?" I responded with a hint of assertion though I knew I had no reason to get full of myself.

 She sniffed a laugh and said "You won't, even if you want to."

 "Why?"

 "because I said so." with that she got up and left will all the nonchalance in the world, leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts and dirty dishes.

 When I woke in the morning, although I remembered and knew that it did, it somehow felt like yesterdays little... Event hadn't even happened. It didn't really even stick in my mind very well... Maybe it was simply because I was used to what I thought this new 'relationship' was like. I just excepted it with a heavy heart.

 On the other hand despite the depressed feeling, I felt like I had the vigor to get up without loathing it and go about my morning like I imagined I would well flying here. All that did fill my mind was the freedom from the demon at home. No more fear of running into her on the way the the bathroom, no more fear being assaulted like that at any second... Right?

 I had myself a shower then got dressed and headed out to get breakfast. I looked around for a bit before I discovered a quaint little cafe. I went in and had a peek at what they offered. To my pleasure, they sold full breakfasts as well as scones, muffins, and such things and for a cheep price. I ordered hash-browns which I learned were packed with cooked veggies and seasonings that gave it a rich, sweet spice to it that made my mouth water. I also had some earl grey tea with a bit of extra milk.

 As I delightfully ate my meal, I noticed an odd ridge on the roof of my mouth that didn't belong. It didn't seem to hurt or shift, it was just there. I felt hyper aware of it now and it bugged me to no end but I waited to finish my food and get back home before trying to figure out what it was. I headed straight for the bathroom when I got in and tried tilting my head around in the mirror to try and see it, but it was proving harder then I hoped.

 Suddenly the smallish girl from yesterday walked in beside me with a look of mild disgust and embarrassment. I nearly jumped out of my socks at her abrupt appearance. She on the other hand, simply said "Really?" in a judgmental tone.

 "How did you...?! Why are you here?!" I cried.

 "Your door was unlocked and because your confused irritation is driving me up a wall! Its a mark that claims you as my property. Remember when I said I would be taking ownership of you last night? The mark is prof of it."

 "How did you know how I was feeling?"

 She sighed heavily, "The mark also works like a psychic link. I can feel how you're feeling."

 "Seriously?" I questioned in honest curiosity but I quickly snapped myself back with a shack of my head and corrected myself "Wait, no! You can't just claim someone as yours!"

 "If it makes you feel any better, I'll never be able to do it again; even if you die." She quickly whisked herself out before I could respond.

 I spent the rest of the day feeling disgruntled as I did some shopping and preparing for school to start; which happened in about a week. At this point I had forgotten about greeting my neighbors. All I could think about was the hopes that school would be less... aggressive.

 During the rest of that week, I discovered that the short little blood sucker was living in the apartment to my left -if I face my door from the outside- and with that bit of info, finding her name out was a lot easier then trying to get in a question like that well she tried to eat my tongue off evening after evening. She was Sandra Soreno. Sounded Italian to me.

 

 Each evening that week. She slipped into the house without invitation and, with a seconds notice, attacked me regardless of where I was or what I was doing. It was always in the same manner: She pinned me however she could, sit on my lap, -or if I was forced to the ground, on my middle- press her self against me, any movement she made after that felt erotic and made me feel cheap, sick, tense, and self-loathing. Not something I'm unfamiliar with. She would always force a kiss that always ended with her teeth cutting into my tongue. I wanted to leave, I wanted to run... But for some reason I just never could; Maybe she could control me with that psychic link thing. I couldn't even debate to myself about leaving. Thankfully though, she never did anything other then tease my body a bit and drink her fill before healing me and starting dinner. I washed the taste of iron out of my mouth well she did that. She then watched me eat every bite, before leaving. A single word was rarely spoken. By the end of the week my tongue was already becoming desensitized to the pain.

 I wonder where I would've gone if I left this place. I wouldn't go back to my parents... That's for sure. There was no other place I knew though and I had no money of my own to survive. I felt trapped like a sad little play toy passed from one cat to another. Life is cruel.

 After what felt like years, School started. It would only be a partial day so we could figure out where our classes would be and what would be going on in each one, as well as an Assembly to greet all the new students and the returning ones for the new school year. It would be a good distraction and a distraction was what I needed. 

 First things first, finding my homeroom which, from what I understood, was an almost meaningless thing. I found the board showing everyone's name and what class they need to go too, I was in classroom 307. I soon discovered it was an art room with the help of a school map. Since I managed to get there as quickly as I did, I sat down in the back and put my head down well I waited.

 It wasn't long before the bell went and the teacher addressed the whole class. I still wasn't paying attention though so I didn't hear her when see called my name to come up and take my books and scheduled. She called a second time, not knowing who I was or if I was there. There was a pause then suddenly a familiar voice barked at me making me jump and sit bolt up right. Most of the people in the room were looking at me as my face started to heat up. I looked about and saw the source of the voice. 

 "Sandra?!" I cried jumping clear out of my chair this time.

 She looked at me like she wanted to ask how I knew her name as she never gave it to me but instead, the teacher said "Are you Mark Parry?" in a slightly annoyed tone.

 "Ah, yes" I confirmed as my face went from heated to boiling. "I'm sorry for not paying attention..."

 "Not a good way to start the year off Mark, as good as daydreaming is, most teachers won't be to pleased."

 "I really am sorry, I'll do my best to not do it again..."

 "Come on up and get your things, your holding everyone else up."

 "Yes, sorry!" I finished weakly as I half jogged up to the front. 

 Other students sat snickering at me, well Sandra and the teacher only watched me. The teacher, Miss McCloen according to the chalkboard behind her, held eye contact the whole time. As I excepted the books from her my hand brushed hers, as it did, I noticed a look I always notice when my skin makes contact with another person. I was never fond of physical contact, even before the demon I lived with became a demon and most people respected that despite that look on the rare occasion when this happens. I don't know why, but people seem to get more friendly, especially towards me when this happens. It was even more obvious with the demon. She never respected my wish to not be touched. Because she did it so much more, I discovered other effects and it all scared me... But I didn't know what to do about it so I became depressed. 

 "There's just no running from this is there?" I wondered to myself in despair. I felt a lump start to form in my throat and my eyes started to burn.

 "Do you mind if I use the washroom quick?" I asked, trying not to sound chocked.

 "No... Go ahead." she replied looking concerned.

 Setting down my book on my desk first, I left the room for the nearest bathroom to try and get a hold of myself.

 When I got back to class, I quietly walked in and sat down at my desk. The books I had left there though weren't there. I panicked a little and began to look about for them. I discovered them sitting in my backpack already. I knew I hadn't left them there so I now looked about at the other students. No one was looking my way to except thanks though.

 When the bell rang and everyone started for the door, Miss McCloen grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving. I noticeably flinched. 

 "Sorry" she said and let go "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. You seem a little upset about something."

 "N-no, I'm alright..."

 "Are you sure?"

 "Yeah..."

 "Well, alright. I'll be seeing you later then."

 I unfortunately had her for two of my six classes; I could only hope that this was something that would quickly resolve its self. It didn't though, she would always look my way in and out of class but she got the hint about my not liking being touched and avoided it. She clearly wanted to though.

 At some point or another, I found myself in the Gymnasium with my thoughts drowning out the world around me. I was calm and collected now but I still just wanted to get away... But I came here to get away in the first place. That's just life, now isn't it?

 When the assembly finished and people began eagerly leaving, I still wasn't aware of my surroundings; not until a tall girl with a soft face, semi-long brown hair, and a number of piercings tapped my shoulder. With a small jolt, I and looked up at her. She was standing but bent over a little to reach me. She smiled and said "You can go home now you know?"

 "What...?" I murmured and glanced around me.

 The girl laughed a little before continuing, "A little lost in thought, eh? What were you thinking about? If you don't mind me being nosy that is..." 

 "Uh... Nothing great, useless stressing. I have an... Aggressive neighbor and a teacher that makes me uncomfortable. One of whom doesn't understand boundaries very well but I don't know what to do about it so I'm wishing I could go home even though I don't want to cause my sister's worse then my neighbor and my parents wanted it to not be a problem anymore so they agreed to send me here and continue to support me and I'm a little panicky and chocked and confused and I'm now spilling my guts in front of a stranger who probably didn't expect or want to hear all of that so I'm also embarrassed..."

 She kind of staired at me for a minute before a grin broke out on her face and she laughed out loud. She dropped down onto her butt on the seat beside me on the roll out stands. The longer she laughed the hotter my face felt. I wanted to leave, I almost did leave, but then she calmed herself down and apologized repeatedly 

 "I really am sorry, I'm not trying to be mean or anything!" she pleaded. I just, like you said, I just didn't expect all that. I don't mind that you said it though, stranger or no. 

 Anyway, wish I could help you with at least some of that, you seem like a sweet guy but the most I can do is offer my name and maybe a drink from the vending machine if you would like."

 I wasn't sure how to react to the offer so my mouth opened in preparation to say something but nothing came. The girl giggled and said "Come on then, lest go get something to drink."

 She offered her hand to me after she got up and I continued to sit. I nervously waved it off after a second and got it into gear. We went out into the hall and wondered down away's until we found what we were searching for. She bought my drink first and I graciously excepted, still bewildered by the moment I was now in the middle of. It was kind of like wading into a hot spring... But I was waiting to see if something in the water would strike me. To my immense pleasure, nothing but the cold air after I got out hit. She told me her name was Rena Takahara. Her parents were both Japanese -well, her father was actually half English- but they had met and settled down here. Both were martial artists but her dad preferred medicine and so studied and practiced that instead of teaching kids how to fight. It felt like hours we had talked and the more we did the more comfortable and secure... and happy I felt.

 Before we went our different ways we traded phone numbers, then she was gone and all I could do was think about her and our conversation. Soon enough I was back in the icy air, but that didn't stop me from trying to cling to the memory of the sweet hot water that I longed to dive back into.

 

 When I finally made it back to the apartment another man was walking up to the flight of stairs from a little brown car. He looked pudgy but kind; he reminded me of a hobbit although he was to tall to be one; He looked to be five foot something. I didn't want to bother him, so I walked a little slower to make sure I didn't walk into him or invade his space as I followed after so that I could get to my door. This man, with his earth brown hair and eyes, walked just passed my door and paused, then shook his head and pulled out some keys. He opened the door to the right of mine -if you are facing my door- and disappeared inside. It was about then that I realized I haven't introduced myself to my neighbor on that side. I needed to greet this man and make nice in the hopes that he would be more normal then the one on my left....

 I went into my own room and began to debate on whether I should say hi now or wait until the weekend when I know Sandra wasn't about to walk in any second. The hour was later then normal for me to get home and it wouldn't be long before she came a knocking- no wait, she doesn't even knock... Just like she thinks of me as her belonging, she refuses to acknowledge that she needs to knock and ask to come in like a normal person; Then again, no denying that she is most definitely not normal... That and I'd definitely would refuse her.

 I dropped my school bag on my computer chair with my choice made. I took off my blazer and tossed it too the low, brown couch in the middle of the living room, turned on my heel, and made my way back out. On the walk out front, I looked out over the railing and around the viewable area. No Sandra. I turned again to knock on the door of my other neighbor only for the door to pop open first. A different man was on the other side. He was tall, fit, but appeared timid. His blue eyes quickly went pale as he turned flush and gasped a bit. 

 "You scared me!" he said in a soft voice well another one called out to try and find out what was wrong. "I'm alright Terran," the man called back; to me again he asked "Can I help you with something?"

 "Er... Its not so much that I need help; I moved in recently, I live right beside you, so I thought I should introduce myself. I hadn't gotten around to it because things got... Hectic but I have the chance now..."

 "Oh! You're our neighbor? We've been meaning to say hello as well," he smiled "but we keep missing you or you've sounded... Busy, entertaining." his face went a light shade of pink and I could feel mine doing the same in kind.

 "N-no, you, I think you... That's not what..."

 "Relax its not like you did something wrong, and you haven't been overly loud -though the walls are a little thin and we can hear the odd moan-"

 "Please stop, it really isn't what you think!" I whimpered, now utterly embarrassed.

 He snickered a little and said "Alright, alright, whatever it is, it isn't my business anyway.

 "My name is Brad Parker, its nice to meet you..."

 It took me a minute to accept that he wasn't going to believe that I wasn't having sex every day since I got here so that I could give my name in return "M-Mark Parry, I moved in last week."

 "It's great to meet you Mark. Would you like to come in?"

 "Ah, sure."

 Brad showed me in, and as he did, he called out "Terran, we have company!"

 "Oh?" The other voice came as the guy I saw outside some minutes age rounded the corner of the short hall. This man's, Terran I assume, eyes grew wide with shock as he laid them upon me. He went so pale I felt like I could almost see threw him, and his legs gave out from under him. I could see him mouth some words but I wasn't sure what he said.

 Brad jumped to Terran's side to help him and try and figure out what was wrong well I stood there awkward and confused. Eventually, I decided that I should just excuse myself and try another day... Maybe. 

 When I went to leave, Terran shouted "Wait!"

 I jumped a little and froze.

 "How... How are you here?!"

 "You know this boy?" Brad asked.

 Terran didn't answer Brad and I didn't answer Terran. After a tense, silent moment; Terran told, with force, Brad he should go out to run his errand. Brad didn't seem sure that he wanted to but did it anyway. I still stood frozen.

 "You... I've talked with the local reaper, and I've learned may a thing about The Afterlife, the reality of this world that most don't see, and even a bit about the gods that govern. Since I will never get the pleasure of The Afterlife, I thought I would never get to meet a god..."

 "I-I'm sorry, wh-what are you talking about?"

 "Don't be coy, now that we see each other, now that I look you in the eyes, I can see it. You should be able to see me for what I am in return I'm sure... Unless... I was told you left The Afterlife without a word, you just disappeared one day. Did you by chance... Lock out the memories of your time as a god when you left?"

 "You think I'm a god?!"

 "You really don't even know who you are... What a day! To discover the lost god, The Life Breather only to discover he only knows his mortal life! There is so much I want to ask you, but as you are, you couldn't answer anything for me..."

 "I-I have to go!" I stammered a second before I fled.

 Nothing seems to make sense to me... I'm treated like a piece of meat, I'm accused of being a god, I can't have physical contact with anyone unlike everyone else without making people turn into demons like my sister... 

 I crashed into my apartment, went to my room, and curled into a ball on my bed with my blanket pulled up around me tightly and quietly cried.

 All I want is a bit of normalcy....

 That evening, I passed out without being disturbed further, however, Sandra was in my space once again. I didn't no it at the time but she had been in my kitchen already cooking, slightly distracted by the feelings she was sensing from me. She took the time to finish cooking but didn't bother preparing it for me to eat right away, instead she packed it up and put in the fridge; annoyed and disgruntled. Instead of attacking me well I lay in bed to feed, without making a sound like normal, she walked in to my room, sat and leaned against my bed. Her feet were flat on the floor with her butt and her knees hung apart. She staired off at the wall well smelling the air, smelling the new smells on me. The freshest and most worrying -to her- was the smell of someone that was absolutely not human and someone dangerous

 In the morning I was more calm and composed again, but still reluctant to receive the day. I got things going with a quick shower before breakfast. When I got out of the shower I dried off, tied the towel around my waist, and went to get a bowl of cinnamon, maple oatmeal; instead I found Sandra finishing up making pancakes and bacon. I stopped with mild surprise and great exasperation in the doorway. 

 "Quit your sulking; what did you expect after making me miss my meal last night ?! Ya dumb-f**k" she barked at me without looking back.

 "You didn't eat?" I found this shocking; that didn't go after me well I was asleep. It made me wonder if maybe she wasn't as much of a demon as I thought her to be... "I expected you would have eaten whether I was awake or not, or will you only do it when you can tease me body well I'm conscious." I continued in a pained tone that sounded strange coming from me, considering how submissive I was. 

 Apparently she thought so to, because she stopped what she was doing to look over her shoulder at me. She looked unsure but angry, then she seemed to notice something and turned the rest of the way around, put her hands on the counter behind her, and raised an eyebrow with a look of pleasurable amusement.

 "Right, like you don't like it you perv" before I could chew her out for that in a rage -and I would have, for the first time in my life, actually out right snap at someone- she continued "coming out here with nothing but a loose towel on? You want me to go a little farther with you, eh?"

 I had forgotten I was only in a towel and now my face heated up in a mix of rage and embarrassment; so much so that I started to get dizzy. I left the room in a hurry well listening to Sandra's cruel laugh. Screw what I said about her maybe being a better person then she seemed, she's is, just... All the worst names you could call someone. I wish I had it in me to stand up for myself....

 I didn't quite get why she would make me breakfast after making her miss her dinner and although I wish I could say I didn't care, it did nag at me a bit. Regardless, once I was fully clothed and a little less red, I sat down to eat. Like normal, Sandra watch me eat it all then told me to hurry and prepare for school. Another thing that slipped my mind. I did have school today, the first full day of school.

 I spent most of the day simply trying to not think in general. It was long and sluggish and I simply felt depressed. At least that was the case until lunch. I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me all lunch but as frustrating as that was, it wasn't overly concerning for most of that time. Why? Take a guess... Rena! I was sitting on a bench outside eating last nights dinner that I missed when Rena slipped down beside me out of nowhere and said hi. I nearly dropped my food; I didn't, but I did spill a little on my shirt.

 "Ah, sorry I didn't mean to scare you..."

 "That's alright." I stammered "I have a spare shirt for gym so its not a big deal..." I finished, not sounding all that cheerful still."

 "Having a rough day?" she questioned.

 "Uh... no. Rather, things have been a bit rough since.... At my appartement, both neighbors are unsettling to me. To be kind about it. One thinks I'm a god called the Life... Something and the other practically ra-" I broke off and sighed... I didn't feel like indulging that stress filled conversation. There's just nothing that can be done anyways. Besides, I feel like it might lead to me full on crying, and as everyone knows, a guy crying at school in front of others just makes them the biggest target ever for bullying.

 My head dropped a little and I sighed again.

 "Practically what?" Rena asking with honest concern. I got the feeling like she might have known what I was going to say.

 "No... It nothing. She's just, she reminds me of my sister"

 "Oh..."

 "Ya."

 "I'm sorry... "

 There was a silence for a moment where I just felt like the epitome of sadness and Rena thought I was a loser. Before the silence lasted long enough for it to be hard to speak up again, she changed the subject and asked "would you like to meet me in the library after school? We could study, or talk, or something... If you would like."

 It felt like my heart just jumped in my chest. It looked like she could see me light up at the idea and she smiled without me having to say anything in return.

 "I'll be heading down there right after the bell. Shall I save you a seat?"

 "Yeah, I'd like that" I smiled back at her.

Author's Note

this story -in its whole form- will be the longest I've posted here. because of that and because of how long I took to write it, I decided to break it in two; that and I still have a few pages to edit. So please excuse the intermission, the next part will be out on the 14th

Reviews

[C.M Grogan]

I enjoyed reading this part. The dialogue here was very sharp. I think you are handling the narrator's conflicting ideas about his unique situation a very interesting way. His observations are very fresh and often times funny. I'm looking forward to the next part, thanks for sharing.