Torrent

What is time?

We cling to a rock called life, hoping against

All that we know is true, that we can hang on to it forever.

 

Time crashes against us. Time, the cold torrent

That tears at us as it rushes past

On it's way to bottomless falls.

 

Every so often, as we go about our day to day

Existences, a friend or relative gets swept

Downstream and past us … into the abyss.

 

One by one, we are  all eventually torn from

Our rocks.

 

It can all seem terribly hopeless if we claw at

Immortality.

 

Or it can all seem incredibly wonderful if we

Accept our mortality and embrace the act of living.

Reviews

[.........]

Although the simplicity of this poem speaks with something almost indifferent and factual, I find great beauty in its style and definite message. The part that speaks to me personally is the stanza that says, "Every so often, as we go....." and also the line "One by one, we are all eventually torn from our rocks." because I think that the truth lies within your poem in so many different places and areas. This can really be related to everyone and anyone, on any day.

[Emily B]

i lost my rock last year, swept away by the torrent . . . somehow i found my way back to where i am now, and find myself embracing that act of living

how did i miss words like these?

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I bet you were ... living. In the movie Tombstone, a dying Doc Holliday says "There IS no normal life. There's just life."

[Emily B]

i wouldn't wish that kind of living on my worst enemy

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Well ... welcome to the light on the other side. [Offers outstretched hand]

[Emily B]

i'll put on my best smile for such a happy occasion

[April Child]

I liked the last line, it gives hope and affirms the beauty in life if we choose to see it. Certainly in balance it can be as bleak as you portray here and your description is superb.

[WindSong]

So beautifully expressed. "We cling to a rock called life", this is just so very poetic and encouraging. A wonderful poem!

[vinny ciambriello]

I liked it until the last line. The last line is rather mundane and not up to the rest.
I thought of this one:

I found that by lifting myself up on the rock, I can watch the torrent like a dazzling dream.

The point is, make the last line the kicker: it needs to be.

[Seashell]

Food for thought with a novel way of looking at life and death. It all can seem terribly hopeless indeed if we claw at immortality .

Great write here
Babs x

[Judy Ponceby]

Beautiful and full of wisdom. Flows beautifully and your imagery is excellent. Enjoyed this piece.

[piggy]

this is lovely and so nicely written.

why do you let your friends get swept away? this is an odd thing to do, don't you care about them at all?

and i like the embracing living bit but would add loving for good measure too.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

travelling a short piece can make a journey almost bearable in the adepts of despair, a truly fantastical outlook on something bleak, great flow and time, the imagery is remarkable, well written, good job.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

and enjoy the ride............wonderfully inspirational piece!