Nightmare on Haifa Street

Bravery? At what cost?

What is Iraq like?

     I remember years ago when I visited a friend in Phoenix. Being a New Yorker, I had no clue of what I was about to step into. The jet was comfortable and the landing was uneventful. The walk up the jet way was equally uneventful and I wandered into the terminal where Kelly greeted me and led me to the exit. Only when we walked through the automated doors did it hit me, and it hit me with all of the power of a blast furnace. The 106-degree air temperatures swept over me as though I’d walked through a curtain into a sauna that was devoid of any moisture. My knees buckled instantly. Only by the grace of God did I manage to keep my feet.

That's what Iraq is like.

        I flashed back to that day at Sky Harbor Airport as I stepped from the transport into the drab tan world that would be mine for the next year. This place was like Phoenix, only worse. The wind that I saw before stepping from the plane was the cruelest of illusions. What I thought would bring cooling relief, brought only the hot sting of the Iraqi sands. This time my knees didn’t hold. An hour later I awoke to find myself in the cool air of the base infirmary.

        “How do you feel soldier?”

        “I’m good now.” I answered as I tried to struggle to my feet.

        “Why don’t you relax while you can.” The medic suggested. You’re going to have plenty of chances to be a hero soon enough.”

        Considering that the mere act of sitting up had robbed me of my equilibrium, I decided to heed the sage advice I’d been given. As I lay back down, she spoke as she checked the stability of my I.V. needle.

        “Good choice soldier! I’ll be back to check you shortly, for now, enjoy the fact that you aren’t out in that sun.” She said over her shoulder as she left me lying on my gurney next to the infirmary entrance.

        Minutes later, the infirmary exploded into a furious frenzy of activity. The storm of activity was centered around the two soldiers with devastating injuries that they wheeled past me. The first was a soldier who looked no older than 15. His semi-conscious, guttural groans were barely audible above the roar of the medics who worked frantically to stabilize him. One of the medics shouted his name and yelled at him in an attempt to keep him conscious. Blood flowed from the gaping wounds in his chest and neck.

        “Jacob! Jacob! Jacob … God damnit, don't you die on me kid! You stay with me Jacob, okay … Jacob! Private Jacob Krueter, stay awake; stay with me son. That’s an order!”

        I wish I could tell you what the other soldier looked like, but what remained of his face was so badly burned that my stomach retched as I turned away. Though he never moved, made no sounds and showed no outward signs of life, the medical team worked on him feverishly for forty eight minutes that seemed more like hours; they labored over him nonstop until 11:36am. That was when Sergeant Sean “Gunner” Westbury was declared dead. And so it was that I was introduced to the perils of the Haifa St. patrol before I ever left the infirmary.

        The next morning I joined my unit on my first tour of Haifa St. The morning air was mild, no more than 85 degrees. My position was as the machine gunner on the lead truck; a position that I would later learn had been Sean Westbury’s. Though the temperatures were not yet oppressive, the flying dust and the lingering smell of diesel fuel and burned out vehicle shells filled the air. Improvised explosive devices are a menacing part of life in Iraq. Some are triggered by cell phones, some by timers and some by trip wires. The strain was palpable as I rode with my head on a swivel, watching for anything unusual. I wanted to watch every person who looked at us too long or held a cell phone in their hand, every car that showed brake lights ahead of us and every rooftop.

        “Hey Gunner,” my driver called to me without turning his head “keep your watch front. Your job is eyes front. If your watching center gun's field, who the Hell is watching your field? Do your damn job, they’ll do theirs!”

        “Yes Sergeant.” I snapped back.

        I saw him at the border of my periphery, a dark haired boy no more than eleven or twelve. I wouldn’t have given him a second look if not for those eyes. His eyes were deep and dark, and they held more behind them than he could possibly have seen in his few years. Whether it was hate, desperation or agony, I couldn’t tell; but something in his eyes held my attention. I’d heard stories about young kids who were insurgents and sometimes became suicide bombers. His unyielding gaze was making me very uneasy.

        “Gunner!” Came the growl from the front of the open Hummer. “Unless you want to end up like Westbury, you keep yer Goddamn eyes front!”

        Though I swung my head forward, my eyes trailed uneasily behind and stayed on the boy as long as they could. The boy’s dark, vacant eyes never left our vehicle. As the weeks passed, I learned what to look for on the street, what insurgents did and how they behaved. I learned which cars were suspicious and which ones were not. The entire time the boy would pop up on that same block every day. As time passed, I saw the boy more and more often. The more I saw him, the more he reminded me of a boy I’d gone to elementary school with named Hadji. I came to call my unknown observer Hadji.

Over the next several months, the outrageous and the terrifying became commonplace. The occasional insurgent would appear on a rooftop and open fire on us. Though we’d killed almost every insurgent that ambushed us, we lost several men and almost a dozen were wounded. Any wire could be a tripwire for an unseen I.E.D. We had to be constantly vigilant because any vendor’s pushcart, animal carcass on the side of the road or burned out shell of a car was a potential I.E.D. These things became routine for us and that frightened me. How could such monstrous violence ever become routine and commonplace to human beings? I was terrified at what I might be becoming.

        When the package came for me from Watertown, NY at mail call I knew it was from Mom, not just from home … from Mom. We’d all learned to hover around the guys who got packages from home in the mail; that’s where the treats were to be found. Mom did not disappoint. Along with the neatly folded letter, buried within a thick, insulating layer of small bags of skittles candies, were four dozen of my mother’s famous pumpkin cookies. I knew from experience that although they might look like formless masses of baked slop, they were the absolute best cookies on the face of the earth. I fended off the guys, who had picked up the scent of treats and were on me like hyenas trailing a wounded gazelle. But these cookies were not for those vultures, or even for me. These products of my mother’s love had a higher purpose. These cookies were going to help me remember what love and humanity were all about.

        The next day, near the end of our patrol, with the grudging permission of our commanding officer, we took a substantial risk and made an unscheduled stop. In the yard of the neighborhood school, just off of Haifa St., the children played not much differently than they did in Watertown. After making a few passes and determining that the risk was moderate, we formed a perimeter with our armored vehicles and with gunners watching the street and surrounding buildings, we broke out the goodwill, fruit and boxed juices from the mess hall. The children were reluctant to visit with us, perhaps more afraid of who might see them with us than they were of us. We were uneasy too. The longer we weren’t moving, the more we felt like targets. After what seemed like an eternity, a sweet little girl of about eight broke the Mexican standoff. She slowly walked up to Corporal Granger, took the Juice and apple that he offered and gave him a precious smile in return. That moment was the first time in months I had felt anything besides fear or anger. I could tell by the glistening moisture in Granger’s eyes that he was feeling something too. The other children followed in short order and as they formed a crowd around us, I broke out Mom’s box. I couldn’t love these children, but I could show them some kindness and pass along to them some of Mom’s pumpkin flavored love. As the cookies dwindled down to a precious few, I lifted my eyes and saw Hadji standing at the back of the crowd watching me intently. I took the last three cookies from the last Zip-Lock bag and extended my arm, offering them to the boy. Finally, he stepped close enough to take the cookies. I pointed to myself and spoke.

        “Chad … Chad … Chad.”

        Then I pointed at him and waited.

        “Holliday! Holliday!” Came the impatient call to me from the drivers seat.

        “Okay Corporal, give me just a few seconds.” I answered without bothering to turn around.

        “Jamil.” The boy finally said, placing his finger on his chest. I smiled at Jamil and patted his head as I jumped back on my Hum-Vee. I smiled and waved at Jamil as we pulled away. He never smiled or returned my wave. He just gazed at me with those bottomless eyes. That meeting seemed to chip at the iceberg. Over time Jamil would give me the slightest bit of a smile as we passed by him on patrol.

        Corporal Granger, however, didn’t see things as I did. He didn’t trust Jamil and warned me on several occasions not to drop my guard. Jamil’s deep gaze made Corporal Granger very, very uneasy.

        The last time I saw Jamil was the Thursday of a particularly quiet week. Quiet isn’t good, it just means that what hasn’t happened yet is all going to happen in one big, ugly, explosive mess. On this particular Thursday there was actually a breeze that actually carried air that wasn’t scorching. The temperature was a bearable 97 degrees. At the far end of our patrol, we made our turn in an expansive parking area and started the four-mile run back to the base. I was on heavy machine gun in the lead vehicle, and looking forward to the air-conditioned comfort of the mess hall, but my attention was on my job. I had learned the consequences of letting your mind drift two weeks prior when a sniper fired on us from a car ahead of us that I was supposed to have cleared. Fortunately no one was hurt that day, no one that is, except the three insurgents in the car who were all killed. Though I longed to be done with patrol, there were no such lapses that day. The barely visible reflective glint in the road ahead seized my attention immediately. It was too perfectly straight.

        “Wire!” I called out at the top of my lungs. “Straight ahead. Two feet off the deck.”

        My call brought our vehicle, and the two behind us to an immediate stop and everyone automatically went on higher alert. Gunners swiveled from side to side surveying cars, windows and rooftops as Granger squinted, trying to spot the location of any device the wire might be attached to. Corporal Doug Piper started to get out to inspect the wire when Armageddon broke loose. Snipers appeared and opened up from both sides of the street. The heavy metallic plunk of rounds impacting our vehicles rang around us as we returned fire. I’d been in firefights before, but with snipers on both sides of the street, we were surrounded. I was more frightened than I had ever been in my life.

        Piper was hit in the opening volley and knocked off his feet. As I returned fire, I saw Piper out of the corner of my eye. As he struggled back to his feet and limped towards the wire, his shredded boot betrayed the foot wound that he’d sustained. If Piper had reached the wire, he could have cleared our path and we’d have gotten out of there. But Piper didn’t make it any further. I didn’t see it, but that sound will be with me forever. It was the sound that a milk carton makes when it hits the floor, followed immediately by what I can only describe as a raspy gasping sound that had to be the expulsion of his final breath. And then there was a thud. Doug Piper was dead, and we were pinned down until someone could clear that wire. I had just taken out my second insurgent and was about to get out there and clear the wire.

     That was when it happened. A little boy bolted out from between two burnt out cars and ran toward the wire in the street. As the boy passed Piper’s crumpled body, a volley of automatic weapon fire hit him but he kept moving. Amazingly, he staggered the last twenty feet and fell across the wire like an exhausted marathon runner at the tape. When the wire was drawn tight and snapped, nothing happened. I don’t know to this day if an I.E.D. failed, or if the wire was just a trick to slow our patrol down.

“All clear, Let’s roll!” came the command.

        We were still taking occasional fire as the patrol began to roll again, but we were moving. I jumped out to get Piper’s body and as I ran past the little boy, I realized it was Jamil. He lay there in that horrible, oil stained, filthy street with smoke still rising from his seeping wounds and those deep, dark eyes still open and staring up at me. I glared back at Granger, who was a step behind me.

        “Can I trust him now, Corporal Granger?”

I was just a little bit farther from Watertown. 
 

Reviews

[Siobhan MacIntyre]

Very well done, Jerry! I am quite pleased to see that your love affair with commas has waned. Your descriptive is very good. I have not forgotten our conversation about my friend who was in Iraq; he was swamped at the time so I didn't mention this to him. Now that he has slowed down some, I will ask him to give a read-through and initiate conversation.

[Fantasyfairy]

Wow, an amazing story. I loved this, I almost cried at the end, how could one so young contain such a huge, brave heart? Amazingly written and so full of passion for a subject I wouldn't normally read. I found this on Showin some Love by T.l Boehm (jus' Tammy), and thought I would read the stories she had sugested in the piece, I am very glad I did. A beautiful work of art hun XX

"How could such monstrous violence ever become routine and commonplace to human beings? I was terrified at what I might be becoming." I love this line, it's such a compelling (not sure thats the right word) line. Thought provoking.

Just one minor thing I found, thought I would le you know about:
"The strain was palpable as I (road) with my head on a swivel," should be rode, not road.

[Gandré]

I am crying after reading your story. Such a perfect piece. Excuse me for reading it so late. I have many reading requests. Great stuff, have a great weekend! lara gandr�

[Clarisse Nanoit]

This is the most amazing story. I love it. You are SO talented. I'm at a loss for words...
KH

[TL Boehm]

NIghtmare indeed. This was gruesomely effectvie. It went for my maternal soul (I have an 11 year old boy) and clamped down with a vengeance. So well written - that I SAW it. I forgot it was a story as the images played out. I wanted the boy to survive...and when Chad said "Can I trust him now..." I lost it. Put my hand over my mouth and lost it. Anyone who can read this without a visceral response must be one of the walking dead. Kudos to you - this is tightly written, solid, marketable and has a serious impact on the reader.

[Jonah Hawthorne]

Well, I'm not sure if this is at all from personal experience or not --it seems like it is, though. I've never heard of any patrols going out and doing things like that, other than the pubic affairs folks doing their thing. Most of this is solid, although I'm not sure how much of it would make sense to a civilian. The up-tight Corporal is right on target, as well. Unfortunately, it kind of lost me for a while, as the pace slowed down dramatically in the middle. The intro was solid, as was the end. I was kind of bothered by the narrator's indifference, although I'm betting that wasn't the intention. I just would have liked to either A) seen more emotion from him, or B) got some insight into what's forced the indifference. Being somebody who's been there, I understand. Damn, I don't want to say anything else bad, but the heat seemed understated too, along the the telephone blackouts when somebody dies, the shakes before convoys, and the lack of sympathy from the commanders. The soldier's job is a mystery as well, so I have to assume he's infantry.

It's solid, if missing a few details that would really realize the piece. It rings of a person's ability to remain strong (but not be a dick) when faced with tragedy, the horrors of war and the like. Nicely done.

I didn't try and nit-pick for grammar and spelling, so I can't be helpful as that goes.

[Greg Metcalf]

I only have four things to say about this story, besides these four things, for me, it read flawlessly. Excellent work.
I think the opening paragraph gives this a slow start, the memory of the heat of Phoenix gets a little too much time, I thought. I loved the sergeant chastizing him for trying to look in all directions instead of doing his job and trusting his comrades, but this line of dialogue, "You have to trust your fellow soldiers to watch the rest," felt a little too formal. I would like to see the wire that he finds set up a little better. It took too long for me to realize the exact danger of it and exactly what needed to be done about it. At the time the boy sacrificed himself to jump on it, I really wasn't sure what was happening so his heroism was somewhat lost on me. Just a quick set-up about how they have to watch for trip wires on the road to avoid getting blown up would have helped me. Lastly, "Can I trust him now, Corporal Granger?" Seems like such a great way to end this. I'm not sure what the last line is there for.
My notes are very specific because generally I was just absorbed by this story. Very nicely done. Thanks.

[Pamela]

This made me cry. I can only read Narnie's review and feel that anything I say will be inadequate. It's a beautiful piece of work and has left me wanting more. Congratulations.

[Narnie]

ok... I have lots to say and, like you, I present it only as my opinion not as fact - I am only one reader who can give you an insight as to how I viewed your work, which could be completely different from the person before me or after me.

The resounding difference with this piece of writing to many other accounts of war I have read, is that this empathises, grieves, shows fear in the storyteller but always - *always* - retains it's masculinity. That is a hard trick to pull off. Many are either over emotional or too full of bloodlust. You have the balance here in the most perfect example of how it can attract readers from all walks of life. An example of this is the line:

'I couldn�t love these children, but I could show them some kindness and pass along to them some of Mom�s pumpkin flavored love. '

That is a very male view of things but is so sympathetic that it allows woman to relate in a different way. A man would say 'Hell - yeah - I can relate to that' whereas a woman would say 'but you were showing them love'. Am I making sense?

Again in this section:

'We were still taking occasional fire as the patrol began to roll again, but we were moving. I jumped out to get Piper�s body and as I ran past the little boy, I realized it was Jamil. He lay there in that horrible, dirty road with smoke still rising from his still seeping wounds, those deep, dark eyes still open and seeming to stare up at me.'

No description in the first sentence - its purely function and business ... the second sentence states a fact but is short and emphatic. The third sentence then presents a softer reflection of what's just happened by using descriptive words.

How clever is that?! Having said all of that I do not feel that these points have been forced in anyway. I don't think you've written to any formula. The struggle between the job that needs to be done and the human interaction that cannot be ignored seems to have just flowed naturally.

Aside from some minor typos, there is only one thing that I had to read twice (ie. I didn't *get* it the first time) which was what he was doing in an infirmary. I had been confused by the starter being about an American airport so *personally* I would probably have found it easier if the reference to America had not been there and the start had been a straight description of his first sight of Iraq. But then Im a Limey - what do I know ;)

I still think this is fabulous. I hope you look to getting this edited and published... it deserves to be seen.

[Bubo]

These products of my mother�s love had a higher purpose. These cookies were going to help me remember what love was all about.

Thats when the lump started in my throat.
You are an exceptional writer. Gripping, intense and emotional, Its a long time since I read anything so heart breaking, but so good..............
War, if only everyone could read this, and see the devastating effects war has on all, including the men and young children.
Kudos to you.

[Narnie]

OK... you want honesty? You made me cry. Not wailing tears but my eyes filled at the bottom of the first section, cleared a little and then filled again as I reached the end. Man - you are such a good writer. The empathy you show is so unusual... and I had no concerns at all as to whether this were a true story or fiction. Its been a hell of a long time since a piece of writing has affected me like this. I don't know whether I should be glad or not, lol.

No critiques on this one at the moment but I'm going to come back to it, if that's ok? Wow... Im passing this on to a few people who I think will appreciate your writing. Hope thats ok.