Big Wes

Seems like the right piece to feature today.

Sometimes I get to talking
And I make that mistake.

Inadvertently, I say "My Dad
Is", or "does", or "has".

In that moment it hits me like
A steel-toed kick to the midsection,
And all of the wind leaves my soul.

That's when I realize all over
Again that you are gone.
That it's "was", or "did", or "had".

Never again will I hear you
So seized with boisterous laughter
That you begin coughing uncontrollably.

No more will your soft, yet jabbing wit
Gently set me on the proper path.

I have to find my own paths now.

Reviews

[DavidRyan]

This is amazingly well written. Sad, beautiful, a great ode to a parent. I use to sit in my house when I was younger, and extremely worry about what was going to happen to me when my parents were dead. How I would be able to set a VCR up without them, wash clothes, pay bills, take care of people I love/d. It's definitely a scary thought but it comes with getting older, I guess. And you hope that you're old enough to choose your own paths, and take care of your own family, and do just as good, if not a better job, than your parents. Like I said, well written. I'm glad I checked it out.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I am sorry and I know the feelings. I love your poem about your dad.
He sounds like he laughed a lot.
Also he seems to have been gentle and sensitive with his reprimands..
Finding our own paths is something that is needed but also hard.. no matter what age we are we miss our mom and dad.

Chloe

A little sad...

[Kristina Moulaison]

This is really good.

[Kristina Moulaison]

"No more will your soft, yet jabbing wit
Gently set me on the proper path.

I have to find my own paths now."

Did I mention that this is really good?

[NSisifo]

I was mailing a Father's Day card to my uncle last week because my dad passed when I was 8. The lady in line behind me saw I was mailing a card and said, "Good for you. I'm glad you remember him today." I didn't want to tell her it wasn't for my dad because I knew I'd cry. I wanted to say, "Honey, I remember him every day."

Great write.

[Ladysue]

This is a wonderful and truly a beautiful, sad and thought-provoking sentiment.
Very powerful written...Amazingly done...

[deeps]

I think this is simply amazing, I like this alot.
Makes one ponder. Very well written

[Huggy Bear]

The poem is beautiful and powerful. It definitely deserved to win the Good Grief Contest:)

[Legion]

Just remember, he gave you the tools and the knowledge to find that path that best fits you. This was a good homage. Kudos.

[Ed Hart]

how wonderful that you had this...those of us who didn't can see what it looks like

[...]

… brevity is an art … and there are some verses … that teach us volumes … this is one of them … but that’s only about rendition … this verse transcends form, style and vocabulary by light years … it broke our hearts with these two lines of emotion and timeless expression ...

Inadvertantly, I say "My Dad
Is", or "does", or "has".

… we nearly died … this verse embodies that absolutely unbearable sinking feeling that stays way beyond the loss of the loved one … and how it slices us as we live beyond them … factoring in their loss … in our choice of words … and our recollection of memories …

In that moment it hits me like
A steel-toed kick to the midsection,
And all of the wind leaves my soul.

That's when I realize all over
Again that you are gone.
That it's "was", or "did", or "had".

… and when that loved one is a parent … it feels like our batteries are dead … like we will never be charged or recharged … and then we wake up to the realization … that we have survived … and if for no other reason … then for them alone … we need to live like they would have liked us to … albeit without them … but in honour of them … and recover … and “not move on” … but live on … and keep their memories alive …

No more will your soft, yet jabbing wit
Gently set me on the proper path.

I have to find my own paths now.

… a mesmerizing tribute … written with love … and … respect … and with such honour … and grace … and humility and earnestness … a magical ode … to the magic of the magnanimous and magnetic presence of a charismatic father …

(serah)
(editor, the fourth dimension blog)

[mrityunjay]

Congratulations! This entry was awarded a "VERY SPECIAL MENTION" in the WISH YOU WERE HERE (POETRY) CONTEST created by THE FOURTH DIMENSION BLOG (http://thefourthdimensionblog.blogspot.com/) for members of The Writers Cafe. To read other entries and reviews, please visit:
http://thefourthdimensionblog.blogspot.com/2010/05/wish-you-were-here-contest-results.html