Barrels

Just a bit of a poetic experiment.

 

I fish not in barrels.
Not due to lack of fish,
But for lack of sport.
What challenge in finding
The trout that lurks
Between the slats?

Likewise, what challenge
Is there in finding
Embellished outer beauty?
Find first, what lies
Beneath the surface.
Find first, that place where
Quiet waters run deep.
Find those subtle currents
That signal the roiling
Torrent below.

Reviews

[Dani California]

An experiment? And what praytel are you hoping to discover? This is very nice Jerry. Indeed. Who'd of thought one could turn fishing into a lovely poetic metaphor. Yes, try and hook the fish with inner beauty --definitely not the ones swimming just under the surface. I hear they go bad quickly. Usually before you get them home. lol

Lovely work. This was a pleasure to read.

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

Right to the heart of it once again and I love the fishing concept and how it relates to more then one fish in the sea.
I also could not help smiling at the lack of sport as we all know that lack of challenge is a very big part of the male
out look. LOL.
Debby

[Phibby Venable]

very wise concept. love the use of fish and fishing and water.
enjoy the poem and the man looking beneath the surface.
fine work.

[R.S. Wilder]

experimental poetry my a*s!!! A wonderful piece of work, and an absolute pleasure to read.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

Sage advice! I like this - the sound of it and the wisdom it gives. There is often more to the things that are truly meaningful to us - the things that earn our respect, our love, our gratitude or maybe even our time. Thanks for this.... made me feel wise as I too look for or aspire to more than that too easily given...

Kath

[W.k.kortas]

It's a curious metaphor--almost as if Shakespeare had begun one of his sonnets "My love is like a rainbow trout"--but you make it work quite nicely, and the form is equally curious--thematically, it's perilously close to a legal brief, but the easy flow and clarity of the language also works effectively. Very solid piece of writing.

[jen]

this is really good, 'creepy mets guy" (your name changes make me smile.. you change names more than i change avatars!"

i love what you have to say here, experiment or not... beneath the surface is all of the best stuff...

[jen]

this is really good, 'creepy mets guy" (your name changes make me smile.. you change names more than i change avatars!"

i love what you have to say here, experiment or not... beneath the surface is all of the best stuff...

[Spoken]

experimental success I'd have to say.. I love the first and last 3 lines. Like Emily, i found myself rereading to take in all the subtle undertones and appreciate the delicate word placement that makes this piece so great.

lovely creeper

[Emily B]

Sometimes experimentation pays off high dividends. It seems you weren't being facetious when you said you might have found inspiration. This is a wonderful write. I found myself reading through it again a time or two just to make sure I took it all in.