Every Poet Writes Those Lines

Don't we all write this poem in some shape or form.

Every poet writes those lines.

The ones that bring the pain.
Stanzas recount every tear,
And they fall again like rain.

 

Absent loves leave tired hearts
To lie at fitful wake.
Left alone to struggle with
That dull and throbbing ache.

 

Oh that words returned to us,
Lost days and moments gone.
But Time, she has no pity,
She grimly marches on.

 

How many are there out there
Who do not have a clue?
They do not know our anguish
They’ve all found loves anew.

 

So we write, we pray, we hope,
They wonder how we’ve been.
We tell ourselves they'll miss us
As the tears bleed from our pens.

Reviews

[Emily B]

They say that "time assuages,"--
Time never did assuage;
An actual suffering strengthens,
As sinews do, with age.
Time is a test of trouble,
But not a remedy.
If such it prove, it prove too
There was no malady.
--E. Dickinson

We write ourselves on the page. And I see you're having trouble with lost moments and time gone. :-)

When words are written with true emotion, the feelings cannot be masked. They are as alive in the words as you or me. We can always be found out by our writing.

[Chrissy]

Oh wow. Very well done. The last line is what got me, but all before that kept me going. I've read this one about four times now, and I have to say its one of the best I've read in a very long time. I know we can all relate. Putting your soul to paper, revealing more than you want, and not everyone realizes the actual pain and tears that inspired such writings...

As the tears bleed from our pens...

Thats genius. I applaud you.

~C

[J. Patrick Darrow]

I tend to use a very similar set up to many of my poems. You have an excellent base, but suffer mildly from a word flow mechanics problem. Word flow mechanics is a term for the way the words bounce off each other. The dynamic the words give the language. I always use the example of the words metallic, and gravelly. If you say metallic, gravelly.. your words create a false pause, or beat where the sounds create a break. If you reverse the order, they smooth in transition, and the ghost beat dissappears. Here we go.

Every poet writes that poem
The poem that brings the pain.
Stanzas recount every tear,
The tears that fall like rain.

You've got a lot of p's popping in rapid repitition in the first two lines. In addition, the use of tears twice in such a short span creates something of a subconscious question of depth of vocabulary. I would try to make the first two lines a little less suzie sells sea shells, and perhapse change the last The tears to something like those drops or something. The imagery of the first stanza is solid, and the comparitive was a well placed simile.

Loves long lost, leave tired hearts
To lie in fitful wake.
Left each day to struggle with
That slow, dull, throbbing ache.

In this stanza you've become enamored with "L". Again.. tongue twisterish. The last line is a bit of a mouthful, as well, but the stanza held its own, and the descriptives conveyed the image well. The rythmn was very nice as well.

Oh that words could bing us back
The days, the moments gone.
But Time, she has no pity,
She grimley marches on.

I enjoyed this stanza. It flowed smoothly, and your metaphor was well placed, and the whole thing has the sound of a famous quote. I wouldn't change anything, here.

How many are there out there
Who do not have a clue?
They do not know our anguish
They've all found lives anew.

For some reason, this stanza is struggleng to hold its rythmn even though the beats are correct. Two theres within three words is one too many.

So we write, we pray, we hope
They wonder how we've been.
We tell ourselves they miss us
As the tears bleed from our pens

This last stanza is great. The first line holds on a little to long, but that final image was perfect. It really tied the first stanza to the final making the piece feel whole. Very well constructed, and the imagery was beautiful.

With a tad bit of polish you've got a gem, here.

[Enylaroc Draw]

*cries* this is so true!!! the poet in us turns it into words, trying to tell others of our pain.

marvelous, simply marvelous.

[Crystal]

That's amazing! That last line is awesome! You have hit the nail on the head and I must say this has an outstanding rhyme and rythym to it. It flows so well and makes for such an easy read. The message in it is one I would not have thought of, but oh so true! Oh, that words could bring us back! I love the way the way this leaves me feeling! Brilliant!

[Kana Renee]

I love the rhythm of this write! More so, i love the message it leaves inside me after i read it.

"tears bleed from our pens".... the fact we can write to dig deep enough into the dungeons of our souls leaves us plagued by tears many will never understand and even fewer can even start to comprehend.

Outstanding work i say to an outstanding poet.