What's Under My Bed?

Who can sleep with a monster under their bed !?

     Tiny Stef curled into a petrified little ball, cowering in the murky corner formed by her bed and the two adjacent bedroom walls. She hid beneath her blanket, clutching her teddy bear and trembling like a nervous, pig-tailed, cherub-faced little Chihuahua. Tears streamed down her chubby little cheeks.

     In the darkness below her dainty pink bed, a slimy liver-colored tentacle, barely visible in the weak glow of the Pocahontas nightlight, quietly slithered closer to Patches, Steffy’s fluffy white cat. The cat saw the advance of the disgusting appendage, but didn’t immediately flee. Instead she hunkered down on her haunches and peered into the dark crevice where the pulsating monster lurked. The slurping sounds that emanated from below were so faint, that they were inaudible to humans. But Patches heard them. Her trance-like gaze fixed on the glint of three barely visible, lime green eyes that looked back out at her. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the creeping tentacle drew closer and closer to the motionless feline. But Patches was fully alert and at the very last minute, she silently hopped up onto the bed. With that, the tentacle oozed back into its dark cranny, leaving a gleaming, clammy trail of nauseating glop.

     Then the noises came. THUMP … SCRATCH … THUMP … THUMP. Stef’s tiny hand reached from beneath the blanket and pulled Patches close to her. The cat gave her a sense of security, however unfounded it may have been.

     THUMP

     THUMP

     Stef peeked out from beneath the blanket at the telephone and considered reaching out to pull the phone under the blanket with her. She could call Uncle Paul; he told her that she could call him any time. She loved Uncle Paul; he reminded her of her daddy and that always made her feel safe. But she couldn’t reach the phone; it was too far away; if she came that far from under the blanket he’d see her. A narrow cone of light was cast in from the hallway as the door slowly crept open by a couple of inches.

     “You okay in there?” came a gruff male voice from the hall.

     “I’m okay.” came the little voice from beneath the blanket, tears now forming a veritable river down her cheeks.

     Stef was so gripped with fear by now that she lost control of her bladder. But she did not budge. She remained motionless under her blanket, silently praying as the door slowly began to close ... entirely too slowly. At the very last minute the door stopped.

     “I smell piss. Did you piss the bed again you little brat!”

     The door flew open, flooding most of the room with light from the hall. There in the light stood Tony. Tony was Mommy’s boyfriend and he wasn’t very nice. Stef hated the nights when her mother had to work. Those were the nights when Tony stayed with her. She always tried to go to bed early and hide, but Tony always came in her room. She wanted so badly to try to get the phone, but she tried that before and he got mad and shook her. He shook her so hard that her eyes hurt and she got dizzy. Tonight she just sat as still as she could and hoped Tony would go away or Uncle Paul would come. But neither happened; she felt his weight flop on the bed as he sat next to where she was huddled. The awful smell of the beer on his breath made her so sick that she wanted to throw up. Her quiet whimpers grew into full, heaving slobbering sobs, as he changed his demeanor.

     “Stef sweetie; I’m sorry I hollered at you. Come on out and we’ll get you all cleaned up”

     “No thank you Tony, I’m okay”

     “You can’t stay like that. Your mother will kill me.” He explained slyly as he began to reach his hand into her blanket fortress and slide it up her leg.

     THWACK !

     The sound resonated through the room as the slimy tentacle flew out from beneath the bed and threw itself around Tony’s right ankle. The appendage wrapped itself around his lower leg and began to tighten. The barbed spines that ran along the length of the tentacle dug themselves into the flesh of his calf. His blood-curdling shriek pierced the room, causing the little girl to flinch and cover her ears. Patches leapt from the bed, scurried through the open door and bolted down the hall with an angry 'Meow'.

     Two more squishy tentacles swung from beneath the bed and coiled themselves around his other leg and his torso. Tony’s eyes were the size of saucers as he kicked and flailed wildly in a hopeless attempt to ward off his gruesome attacker. Shortly after his legs and waist disappeared beneath the bed, another tentacle emerged. This one was different; it was pockmarked with grotesque follicles, half of which had wiry hairs protruding from them. At the end of this tentacle there was a spine like the spine at the end of a scorpions tail. The murderous tentacle thrashed maniacally about the room until it lunged at Tony impaling the spine deep into his neck. The appendage pulsed as it pumped an odious green fluid into the scoundrel's neck. Blood filled his eyes and began to leak from the sockets , nose and ears. The tentacle pulled itself loose from his neck with a horrible pop and the vein spewed forth a mixture of thinned out noxious blood and vile green poison that spilled onto the hardwood floor.

     As Stef peeked out from her hiding place, Tony’s withered corpse was slowly dragged beneath the bed. The sounds of cracking bones and slurping came from beneath the bed as Stef hopped to the floor and ran down the hall.

     In the light that streamed through the still open door, a tube like appendage slid out from under the bed and slurped up the putrid mix of blood and slime, two unsoiled tentacles popped out and pulled the Little Mermaid sheets and pillowcase from the bed and down below. They flipped the mattress and slinked across the room into a closet where they found new sheets to redo the bed. One tentacle lurched across the hall into the bathroom from where it took a warm, wet washcloth and a towel. Finally, the monster beneath the bed retrieved fresh panties and PJ’s from the little pink dresser and laid them on the freshly made bed.

     Stef poked her head around the corner for a moment then skipped back in her room. Three tentacles cooperated with one another to get her soiled clothes off, wash her up and get her jammied and ready for bed. As the tentacles retracted, Stef ran back out and down the hall. She returned with a tall glass of milk and a small plate with four slices of buttered toast, all of which she sat on the floor before climbing back into bed.

     “Thank you,” came the hissing voice from the darkness, as two tentacles dragged the milk and toast into the shadows of the bed, and a third slinked out and gently caressed Stef’s hair.

     “You’re welcome,” came the contented little voice as she rolled onto her side and fell into peaceful sleep, a smile on her face and a monsters tentacle rubbing her back.

     “BURRRP!” Came the last sound of the night from under the bed as the tentacles quietly placed the glass and saucer onto the sleeping girl's nightstand.
 

Reviews

[Megan Melindy]

Such a wicked tale you have conjured up! I must say that I loved it from start to finish! Especially when we find out that the 'real monster' is Tony. I could practically hear "This Is Halloween" being sung in my head while I read it. And I couldn't help but picture this as some sort of short Tim Burton stop-motion animation film.I can't see very many ways that you could improve this tale, hmm, perhaps a little more of the story could be devoted to Tony, just to make him all the more ominous and menacing. But that's just the way I see it.If only my own monster had been that kind to me, but then again, my monster didn't live under my bed, but rather rested in its web on my window... (*shudders*) Perhaps now I can learn to come to peace with him.

[Debra J. Gordon]

This was a VERY good piece Jerry. Highly descriptive and imaginative with a great tease to the reader as to why Stef was so frightened. Loved the twist in the end; the unusual relationship between Stef and the green-eyed monster. I wonder if he re-made the bed with those military corners? (smile) And by the way, I like what you did to ole' Tony in this piece!

This could be an ongoing saga. Good story and I will forward to some writers here at the Cafe. --Debra

[:)]

Very interesting right from the start. Your story is very imaginative and creative..unique in a way. Good rhythm and pace to the story. Makes it even more capitivating. I like the 'sound effects' in between with the THWACK and such..it made the plot more alive and lively. Great natural flow. Good job and keep it up!

[The Last Smythe]

Guardian angels come in many forms, eh? When I was a kid, I had a recurring dream that Count Dracula from Seasame Street was out to get me. To this day, I am no good at math.

This was really imaginative, and I saw the monster (no offense), and heard the noises it made.

Enjoyed it.

[Erin Hogan]

holy crap. not what i expected. you kept me captivated from beginning to end. wow. i love the description of the monster eating tony. hehehe. kinda sick but awesome. it was perfect! i espically love the ending. keep up the crazy cool work!

[Sandra Cooper]

I absolutely loved this! I think my favourite part is where the monster helps her and gets her all cleaned up for bed again...and as for Tony...there couldn't have been a better ending!

Excellent write Jerry!
San

[Sianna Reader]

Wow what a monster! Although the little girl could only 'see' the monster's tentacles I can almost imagine what the whole body looked like.
...nervous, pig-tailed, cherub-faced Chihuahua...
What an amazing description, i love descriptions and this, for some apparent reason, made me smile.
The bad guy definitely got what he deserved, i was sitting looking at the screen thinking 'HA'
It was a good story and certainly one i would read over and over again.
Well done

[Michael C. Carr]

This is pretty good, it's my opinion that sci-fi monsters are better suited for comedy than anything serious. Since the tentacles are all we get of the monster, and it doesn't really have a great deal to say, I think it's character would be strengthened if it didn't speak at all, but instead communicated with gestures... think Thing from the Addam's Family.

All in all good writing, there were a few spots I feel like you can improve the flow, touch things up - spine makes me think of the backbone, would stinger be a more apt word? Also, you say "vein spewed forth... that spilled onto," which is a little redundant. I understand you're trying to convey two separate ideas here, but I think it could be smoother. Try taking out -thinned out- and -that spilled- from the sentence and read it out loud. It's your call. Overall though, nice little piece.

[Sean Allen]

Ok, this has got to stop! I've been jumpimg into bed from a good distance for as long as I can remember and now you tell me that the 'Bed Monster" is some sort of "Guardian." Next, you'll be telling us that there's no "Sock" monster...Ha-Ha, I've got you there!
Donn

[Shawna Johnson]

Nicely done. A modern-day fairy tale where the child comes out ahead. My only complaint is that it wasn't longer. I would have liked the tension to draw out a bit.

[Diánna Martin (b..]

Oh god, I loved this. What a wonderful tale of getting one's just desserts - literally.
I smiled the whole time once I realized what was going on...

The perfect spin on the creature under the bed. You keep the reader entertained and concerned - and then relieved and happy. Great way to kill the hell out of the bad guy, too. lol

As for the technical aspects - your writing is clear, concise; the voice perfect.

Great job!