On Moonlit Hill

Just so you know where I'll be.

 

On moonlit hill I contemplate

The whimsy of the lady, Fate.

 

In her wind I twist, I flail.

I flutter like an unbound sail.

 

On moonlit hill I sit with stars.

I plead they tell me where you are.

 

They do not speak, they do not tell.

They leave me to my mortal Hell.

 

On moonlit hill I sit alone

Awaiting love to lead me home.

 

I miss your look, I miss your touch.

I guess I loved you far too much.

 

On moonlit hill is where I'll be,

If ever you should pine for me

 

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Short but full of emotions twisting through the rhythm and rhyme of love left to fate.. and isn't love really that way for most. I love the fact this does not sound like a desperate call to just anyone.. it felt like it was written for someone really special you are waiting for. Really great word-weaving.. with a sad but romantic movement flowing through.. awesome!

[Aka; Donnie (ramone) Ka..]

I love the rhythm of this poem. I had to read this out loud just to let the words play with my tongue.
This poem sets me up, makes me want to walk the ridge line of some lonely hill in this relentless drizzle my region has been stuck with. Just to feel the wretched loneliness again.

[The Last Smythe]

loving beautiful things that don't love you back is universal. This is sad and gorgeous.

[Ladyrose64]

Such a beautful yet longing poem of love I can also say my heart has seen this moonlit hill and the way you have expressed the feelings in this pice is overwhelming to me and touches my heart in a deep way you are a gifted writer and I am enjoying your work very much.

[Mary Maston]

This is some very good writing. Sadly, I can honestly say my heart has been to this "moonlit hill" more than once. I can also regretfully say that I am sure I have left a few hearts there. It's a very tender poem that gets to me more than I would like to admit. "In her wind I twist and flail. I flutter like an unbound sail" I have never heard emotion described in this way. It was refreshing, and very effective. "On moonlit hill I sit with stars. I plead they tell me where you are." Reading this, I felt as though someone were poking at some exposed nerve in my heart. The entire poem seemed to tug at me like that. Thank you for sharing it.

[Holly Abidi]

Hi,

Great poem. I'd love to use this one on my website. If you're cool with that. It's has a very deep tone, great images, and it's great for this format too. Very cool.

Cheers
Holly

[Leah Simone]

This was lonely and filled with longing. I liked the image of being on moonlit hill it was sort of a Wuthering Heights vibe. The rhyming couplets made it seem a bit classical - which was nice. Good job, overall -Leah

[Katrina Mckeown]

Excellant...a nice romantic poem...I could feel your exassperation of waiting for your love!