I'm So Sorry

In the dark of night.

 

You will never know me

Until it’s far too late.

Women you have never met,

Have sealed your grisly fate.

~

I fought the inner voices.

I’ve prayed they leave me be.

But everywhere I look are lovers,

Leaving only me.

~

When you held her hand,

Then gave a warm embrace.

My blood began to boil,

My pulse began to race.

~

My eyes must be so vacant,

Devoid of love or care.

You know you are about to die.

I see it in your stare.

~

I do not even know you,

You’ve never done me wrong.

But hurts of old have drained my heart.

In a muzzle flash, you’re gone!

~

Thank you God, ‘twas but a dream,

That same old awful one.

I tell myself it’s over now,

As I gaze down at my gun.

~

I wait, I pray, to God above,

That fate soon makes things right.

I pray you never meet me

On that awful summer night.

 

Reviews

[Mary Maston]

Wow! reading this reminded me of a dream my husband has had in one form or another, always with the same theme though. He wakes and shakes me awake and tells me the dream as if trying to confess a sin. I wonder what Freud would do with this one. I especially liked "My eyes must be so vacant devoid of love or care. You know you are about to die, I see it in your stare." Chilling imagery of gunman and victim staring each other down in the final moments. I cannot even begin to imagine what that would do to me, how I would react in that moment. Anyway, a frightfully good ride, thanks for sharing. I am wondering, (you don't have to respond, it's just a lingering thought) what inspired this? Was it a dream of yours, really? I wonder if it was how many men have dreams like this.

[Becky C Strukamp]

A chill came over me. You penned this beautifully.

[A.Lee]

Wow, this is really good. I love the way you wrote this. So sincere sounding. Makes you feel sorry for the narrator actually, in a strange way. Very good!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Somewhat chilling ... as if you are looking into the mind of a killer , well and you are.. this gave me shivers.. true to life .. good job writing this .. i like the title ..

Peace
Chloe

[Drifter]

Holy s**t, that was rather creepy! Well done! I've got goosebumps now and I might just have to stay up a few more minutes. The flow of this piece was superb. The descriptions were intense and chilling. Truth be told, there's nothing I can see, at the moment, that needs tightening or correction. Again, well done!

[Doreen]

This is blood chilling and well done. I like this very much. It moves at a wonderful pace and flows nicely.

[Emily B]

creepy

where you been hiding this, Jerry?

[Cherrie Palmer]

Now that you could weave into a tale 'n a half.

[Monday Parker]

Wow, Great great poem. What a haunting person.

[Babbette Francis]

Vivid indeed! My blood ran cold, Jerry. That was creepy, and nicely put. It's no less than 250%.

Loved it!! Loved it!! Loved it!!
A favorite!!


oooopss! What I ment to say was, "Good luck in the contest, You've got my vote!!!!"

[The Dark Passenger]

amazing, so beautifully written and crafted. Wow.