Deja Vous all over again!

See for yourself.

 

       So yesterday, I felt the urge to do a bit of reading. I decided to go to Barnes & Noble and just browse about and see what struck my fancy. I figured I’d get a drink, look through some books and just relax and read what I wanted. As I approached the store, I noticed that a rather large group of people were gathered inside of the large picture window and were watching me quite intently as I approached the door. When I came in, the entire group descended on me like buzzards on a “gut-wagon”. No harm was done though, they only wanted to be my friends and hey, everyone can use more friends, right? So as each asked me if I’d like to be their friend, I eagerly agreed and asked if they wanted to join me in a cup of coffee, but by the time I got my offer of a shared cup of coffee out, each had turned their back on me to befriend the most recent person to enter the store.

          “No worries.” I told myself.

          At least I had new friends. Perhaps they would have time to chat with me a bit later on. Perhaps, I reasoned, one of my new friends might notice while browsing the shelves, that I was an author and pick up one of my works.

          Before I could walk over to the coffee counter, the woman at the checkout signaled by waving her hand at me.

          “Excuse me, Creepy Blue Guy?” She called.

          “Yes Ma’am?” I asked as I went over to talk to her.

          She pulled out some slips of paper as I approached her. I though that perhaps these were sales records for some of my writings that populated the shelves. But as I got closer, I could see that they were notes asking me to pick up the writings of some of the other authors who populated the shelves.

          “Oh no thank you ma’am. When I come in, I like to chose what I’m going to read on my own.”

          “That’s fine,” she said with a smile as she tore up the notes, “I'll take you off of the Read Request list.”

          With that I was off towards the coffee counter, but before I was halfway there, a woman stepped right into my path with a terribly pained look on her face. She shoved a hardcover book to within one inch of my face and spoke in a panicked tone.

          “Will you please read my book!”

          “I’m sorry Ma’am, I just cancelled my read requests at the counter.”

          “That’s why I waited for you to leave the counter. That b***h can’t stop me from asking you to read my book out here in the aisles.”

          “But I just wanted to come in and read what strikes my fancy.”

          “Can you read my book Blue Guy?”

          “Did you not hear me?”

          After just staring me down and blocking my escape for a good ten minutes, she finally sighed in exasperation and walked to the next aisle and accosted another woman. Finally, I got to the coffee counter and ordered my coffee. When I paid for it the cashier smiled in a very friendly manner as she handed me my change. With my change was a note. Please read my book it said with a picture of the book printed on it. At the condiment counter, I tossed the note in the trash while I added cream and sugar to my coffee. I was still a bit upset that I was having so much trouble just sitting down and making my own choice of reading material, that I spilled a bit of my coffee. Since I’d neglected to get a napkin, I went back to the counter to get one and when I got back, there were eleven of my new “friends” waiting, books in hand. I picked up my coffee and hurried away with the “friends” in hot pursuit. I ducked behind an aisle with many books in it and hid until they gave up. That’s when a woman walked by and stuffed a piece of paper in my shirt pocket, which said … you guessed it, “Please read my book.”

          As I ducked behind the aisle, a decent looking fellow walked past me where I squatted and patted me on the back. I looked up at him and saw a look of empathy. But there was no time for pleasantries, I had to escape. I looked up and noticed that this was the aisle that my books were in. There they were, all neatly lined up and facing out with a thick layer of undisturbed dust on them. That was when three men carrying books approached me from three sides. At this point, I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and ran out the back door. As I walked up the side alley towards the front of the building where I’d parked, the physical exertion of my escape combined with the hot sun to make me very sweaty and uncomfortable. I pulled off my jacket only to find a sign taped on my back with a picture of the man who’d patted my back that said, “Read my book!”

 

Is it just me; or is anyone else having this recurrent dream? Maybe I got a bad Mocha-chino.

Reviews

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

Oh, I am not sure at which point I wasn't in Kansas any more - very clever my friend. And I am your friend.... well, I know I am YOUR friend, I hope you are mine.... haha..... I get this and agree. When so much of my stuff was lost, I was heartbroken and asked if it was worth the dance - I have made some nice friends on here and I have some people that are such good writers that I can't wait to read the next item offered up..... like anything else CBG, I take it as it comes here.... Gram used to say, you make your own fun.... I am glad you are here (nothing in my hand or on your back)

Kath

[holly]

A very pointed allegory. I've never sent out a read request, mostly I guess because writing and reading poetry are so personal. I have a friend whose name always pops up with a read request whenever I enter the cafe and I don't know what to do about it because our writing and choice of subjects are profoundly different that I often can't finish reading this persons work. I try to find something to praise, something to give the poet a boost, then walk away. For all I know this could well be the poet whose work lives on through eons. Anyway, I empathise even if I don't feel comfortable rejecting such requests. Well written.

[Dani California]

lol!!! Hilarious!

I was so amused reading this that I was truly..."laughing out loud"..
yes, I do believe that is a tear running down my cheek.. lol

What a brilliantly subtle way to say ... stop bombarding me with
read requests!!

Sigh (will think at least twice now before I send any out...) lol

Outstanding work my friend... I enjoyed it immensely!

[Kristina Moulaison]

That's very funny!

[An Ordinary Woman]

LOL Yup.

That's exactly what it's like sometimes. There is a certain peacefulness that comes from browsing freely and reading what we choose, it's really true.

Of course I'd love nothing more than to read everybody and sometimes feel eventually I probably will. LOL

Great writing!

[duhduhduhdemi]

i lovve this

A nice little lesson learned. Send read requests to those who will be willing to read such works...

I like this one. It brings in a good story concept, well painted imagery, good choice of words, and well imparted message.

A very good piece.

P.S. - What's behind the name "creepy blue guy"? Curious

[TL Boehm]

ooh...ouch....I have guilt. and shame now. (hides face with one hand whilst pecking out text with the other) I am a grubber old school, having been here over a year, and also having lots of unread, underread shelf rubbish....sighs.
But I have to concede. Gone are the days where one could actually 'earn' the attention of peers and mentors by crafting a finely written bit of angst, poetry or plot line - now its all about the PM's and the RR's and the newbies....when I was a newbie I had to WRITE to be read...now - it seems I have lost the right to be read.
I accept read requests - but I don't get many. I welcome reviews. I don't get many...But I defend and affirm the right of any cafe'er - you should be able to browse the shelves as you see fit. This tongue in cheek short holds a whoppin' spoonful of powerful medicine.
I won't add to your frustration by groveling....begging....drooling...or dropping cheese.
Peace.

[Babbette Francis]

hahaha~ This is why I hate - HATE - sending read request. I feel if someone wants to read my work, they will without being asked. Oh, Jerry, Just incase you didn't notice, while you were in hiding,lol, I read your work. You're Fabulous!! and I sincerely mean that. : )

Great twilight zone story, Creepy Blue Guy!!