Tea

You are the cold, sweet tea,
with clinking ice cubes, set
before me amid the oppressive
heat that is my life.

Reviews

[LawrenceRaybon]

A review from the 'A Little Joy' Contest

30 words or less?
---Yes.

Subject matter?
---Comparing a loved one to a glass of sweet tea. A nice metaphor. And joy can be found in the one you love and metaphors.

Rhythm?
---Having 'set' as the last word of the second line even though it is clearly part of the thought of the third line threw me off a little. Other than that the poem flows well!

I love the metaphor and the imagery you use. Nicely done!

Thanks for entering the contest!

Cheers,
Lawrence

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my opinions/advice!***

[icelandicblue]

How refreshing! A wonderfully clever analogy.

[TL Boehm]

oh good lord. you are the king of metaphors. undisputed. Love this. Not like. Love.