Nosferatu

Yeah, I was reading Anne Rice...shut up!

 

Can any sort of wicked evil

Lurk beneath this beauty's mask?

An oddly sensuous sort of demon,

Newly risen from its cask.

 

Such liquid grace in flowing movement,

Nature bound for finer things,

With dextrous fingers surely fondling

Organs, harps and violins.

 

The seething, soothing, seeming swooning,

Boldly gestured creature bows,

And takes me thus with spritely hands

To moon-dance in the moonlit hours.

 

O' merriment! The midnight calling,

Lost in preternatural eyes,

This lonesome, loathsome, artful devil

Whom I lovingly despise.

 

I beckon; drink in lustful darkness,

Surely something lies amiss,

When ghouls of desperate, untold horror

Have the most alluring kiss.

 

In you I find a love eternal,

Altered not, though I be killed,

Now leave me for the bells of morning,

Empty, dead, yet so fulfilled.

Reviews

[Morgan Ashire]

Ah. I love this piece as well. Brilliantly worded. Your use of language is beyond anything that I've seen before. Your style ranges from that of late 1400s to late 1800s. For a span of 400 years, I'm very much impressed. I have not found a great deal of writing on here that I can say that I honestly like. From what I've seen so far, I like your work. Very Romantic Goth in feel. Needless to say, its a bit up my alley. Although, I must point out what could be a grammatical error. "beauties mask" may have been intended as "beauty's mask." If not, to me, it read better that way with the meaning of the text. In addition, the second stanza seemed a bit choppy, probably from a disturbed rhyme scheme. Also, I noticed what could be an ironic change. I know it doesn't follow with the imagery of church bells ringing in the morning like I think you intended, but the line, "Now leave me for the bells of morning," could be changed as either an imagery or emotional conveyor to, "Now leave me for the bells of mourning," which instead of bells of a clock, or time, but of funeral bells. I think it would flow well with the next line, but then again, I suppose that's just writers choice there.