IDK What Day It Is

Forget what I've said.
Forget everything I've said.
About you, about life, about love.

I've snatched a new beginning
from the jaws of my defeat.

Dressed in an oversized hoodie
that hides my scars,
I write this entry as someone
who is no longer afraid
of life.

I wouldn't say I've got
newfound courage,
or,
I've overcome terrors
from my past.
No.
Courage is still gone,
and the terrors
are not recoverable.

It's more like I'm
not allowed to be afraid.
I no longer fear
the next morning,
or the following day of school.
I don't have time
to be afraid.

No, I don't fear this day,
whatever day it is.
Instead, I fear the night
and her illusions.

Night is the cruel mistress who
wrecks my home of light.
Night brings misshapen shadows
and lonely hours.

Night things the subtle realization
that they don't actually need me.
Night draws my attention to the
2am scissors peeking
from underneath my bed.

Night is scars and sadness.

Night is finally falling asleep
at 3am
with sticky blades
and
a dull pain
that seems to numb
my entire body.

Author's Note

Yep.

Reviews

[Chris]

I remember "moments"
and the tears still leak,
crisscross and dampen
my eyes and mind
as I listened ...here.

Chris

There was nothing more I could say to this one that mattered more - to me.