the mortal path

This poem explores the themes of regret, mortality, and the search for purpose. It reflects on the struggles of life and death, emphasizing the journey toward greatness despite the burdens we carry.

Chained in regret,  

From the seas, to the stars.  

Mortal life, mortal death,  

Mortal like rotting flesh.  

Regret resolved,  

Path of purpose,  

As he paves the thorny earth, crimson.  

Strides to greatness,  

Unveils the fog of fate.  

Death under the stars of bliss,  

Waves rise for the worthy soul.  

Journey of grit,  

Is the path of bliss.  

Author's Note

### Note for Reviewer

Thank you for reading my poem! As a beginner, I welcome your feedback on the theme, imagery, and overall flow. What resonated with you, and where can I improve? Your insights are invaluable as I work to develop my poetic voice. Thank you for your time!

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Hello from Spain,
First read of yours. I understand what you are trying to say in a poem. As an avid poetry writer I always like to see structure...but that is me....
I feel the need for caps in your beginning lines and correct punctuation throughout. Breaking your poem down into verses would make your poem more powerful and easier to read...no need to repeat words.. for example: "to the seas to the stars" you might want to consider From the seas to the stars ...
I am only saying this because you asked for help...I liked your imagery and theme... just needs work on your overall flow..hope that makes sense.
You might like to look at my poem Forevermore..It is about halfway down my rather long list of posts and the most reviewed of my poems.
Lisasview

[Thanzeh]

Madam,
Thank you for your insightful feedback on my work. I truly value your guidance and will take your suggestions to heart as I strive to improve. I appreciate the time and effort you’ve invested in reviewing my work.
Best regards,
Thanzeh

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome!
Happy to help
Lisasview