A Journey Through a Broken Heart: Part 1

Written late Dec. 2015

Time and time again 
I've caused myself pain,
By allowing persons to use and mistreat me
For their own selfish gain.

Whispering sweet nothings
Filling my head and blinding my eyes,
Little did I know
I'd be left with uncontrollable cries.

I saw the signs
My conscience was speaking,
Loud enough for me to hear
But I was too busy, too busy seeking..

Seeking for love 
in shallow human beings,
Whose plans were to suck me dry
And continue selling me dreams.

The same mistakes occurred over and over
Not once did I put myself first,
Receiving lust and not love,
Digging myself deeper into an irreversible curse.

Last year ended on such a bad note
I promised that was the end,
2015 was suppose to bring growth
Yet again, I had a shattered heart nearly impossible to mend.

Lack of self love and low self esteem
Are partially to blame,
No morals, devalued
There's more to life than sex and mind games; don't ya think?

"I'm different" "I won't hurt you" "just trust me"
Words that are vaguely familiar,
Every time I let my guard down
These very same men fail to deliver.

How am I to ever know
Who truly means no harm?
If I continuously allow myself to be hypnotized
By lustful men and their deadly charm.

Why do I keep being repetitive 
like a broken tape machine?
I don't wanna be like this, reaching out for help
In dire need of change.

Turning over a new leaf and breaking bad habits
It's easier said than done,
A process I'm willing to go through regardless
I'm sure it'll pay off in the long run.

Work hard, pray harder
Focusing on a better ME,
One day I hope to look back and say
Finally I'm FREE!

Reviews

[Nikolean]

Wonderfully written poem! You really capture the emotions very well and the change in pace of the poem makes it flow beautifully! Can't wait to read more!

[ThaSpeakerr__]

Thanks so much for your feedback!! Look out for more posts! :)