Happiness

So i know this ain't right.
I know this is crazy.
Wrong.
Unbalanced.
Mad even.
But i don't care.

I shouldn't want you like this.
I shouldn't need you.
Yearn for you.
Hunger.
Crave even.
But i don't care.

I don't care because one look at your face
Erases responsibility and obligation from my thoughts
and replaces them with Happiness-
In its purest form.
Happiness.
Before it's adulterated by the pointless sparring of hurtful remarks.
Before it's dirtied by the bad vibes of a mistrusting mind.
Contaminated by the hypocrisy that history can stone you with.

Blessedness, euphoria, enchantment, elation, exuberance, happiness...
They all mean the same thing
yet they all come to mind
when i see your smile.

I'm filled with words expecting to be written.
They beg me to be spoken.
Inspire me to become poetic in this prosaic world
we cycle through daily.

You inspire creativity.
The pleasure of your voice sends shivers through my essence
but then-
Amid all of my ecstasy,
Something pains at me.
A subtle sensation..
A twinge of realization.
The perception of senselessness creeps into my thoughts
like a slow moving cancer.
Slowly killing my faith in all that it pleasant.
My happiness dwindles away like adolescence
as i start to awaken from this dream
i have been walking around in for days.
Despondency kicks in as i question the emotions
that have been running rampant for what seems like eras
but are more like hours
And all i want to do is sleep.
I can invite my cheerfulness back.
My joy.
My bliss.
The happiness that i feel
slowly slipping through my fingers.
I don't want to awaken to a world
full of self doubt
and despair.

I'm just going to sleep.
For as long as i can.
I'll see you in my dreams, my love.
For there,
I am truly,
Happy...

Reviews

[theunionisloud]

This poem is powerful throughout. Until the last stanza, it's powerful in the... happy... way. A lot of the time, people link power with the emotionally depressing, but elation can be just as provoking. This is what you've done here. Obviously, you had us fooled about the reality of your happiness up until the last stanza... but even with the depressing element, it's again powerful. Beautiful work.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

awesome.
The last stanza is too good! It wraps everything up perfectly. I liked this.
KH

[Ruth]

Excellent power to this! As spoken word, this would be amazing, there would need to be a lot of change in the background music :) I love the resigned factor to this, powerful! xx

[Nobody.]

great poem. really jumps with happiness dressed in longing. great expression.
cheers!

[Tom Costello]

You capture emotion very well here, simply, but well. It has a very disjointed, stream of consciousness-ish feel which allows for the feeling that the reader is actually experiencing your thoughts and emotions as you think and feel them. From a technical standpoint, it's not very good, but you have commendable perception and good description. Overall it was an enjoyable poem.

[Wolfwind Words]

I loved flowing through the musings that are put upon this page. They take the heart, mind and soul through so many different places and stages of human emotional rapsody.
I think that we all have things that are our rocks. They are what we turn to. Yet, there will always be times when those rocks are out of reach and only their essence continues on inside our innermind. It's at times like that we write to save our sanity.

Great Ink!
Wolfie

[Misty Blue Eyes]

WOW this is an epic read...very awesome in deed

[Lamenting Illinguist]

I can't say I understand the intracasies of your musings but feel as you feel. Such that a simple smile can be the cause of extreme joy, baleful hate, or a serpent slowly slithering its way through your conscious all the while killing and corrupting your will and sentiment. I have had many snakes slithering through my mind inciting me with nauseous bouts of painful love and hate, sorrow and happiness, thrill and depression.

But I'm better now. :)

[Dream Weaver]

It's funny how loves musings can inspire on one hand and create total
havoc on the other..The key is to find a balance a middle ground if you will.
This to me is a struggle between what you have and what you still need.
great ink.....