One Week

A poem about my Coming Out as gay to my parents. Rather, my preparation for that.

The week before those words leave my lips...

I listen to Three Little Birds, Bob Marley...

And I know that every little thing

Is gonna be alright.

Don’t worry.

I get hugs

Textually described by invisible friends so many miles away.

I lie in bed awake, unable to slow my jittery heart.

It knows what's coming.

I yawn all day. Sleepless. There’s nothing to do...

Nothing to do but worry and hope and cry.

I cry. I cry a lot.

I wonder if it is because I am scared...

Or if it’s because I know it’s all okay.

An overwhelming sense of okay.

I can’t tell.

Will everything become clear when I finally do it?

When those words leave my lips

Leaving their revealing marks on my throat

Wrapping around my body

Stripping me down until I am completely

Vulnerable.

The words I can’t take back.

Even if I could...

They would leave their marks.

There would always be doubt and suspicion

So it’s acceptance or petition. I cannot predict it.

The week before these words leave my lips...

I play frightening video games.

Perhaps I hope they will make my nervousness

In regards to real life

Pale in comparison.

But they don’t.

The week before these words leave my lips...

I think of school.

I think about the day I go back

and if things will feel different

If I will feel like I am a different girl.

I stupidly muse that the fact those words have left my lips...

Mean they would be written on my body

And everyone would know. And I would not care.

The week before these words leave my lips...

I go to therapy.

My therapist is very nice. I feel more comfortable around her every time I see her.

I wonder if I would be coming out this month

this season

this year

this lifetime...

Without her help.

The week before my secrets are revealed

I revel in thoughts of the future

I think of my wedding. I think of my lover.

Wherever... whenever... whoever that may be.

I hope in two weeks...

I will have my first full-night’s sleep.

Seven days.

Then you may sleep.

Then you may know peace.

Seven days.

One week.

Reviews

[constancelovesdarkness]

i know a feeling like that. my bf knows i'm bi and he's alright with it. but even now and then he worried that i'll turn lesbian on him. when i told my mom that i was bi, she accepted me and doesn't make me feel weird. i've told my closest friend whom is a female and we're still best friends. it's always good to have people to accept you for you.

[Devian]

Love it