Broken Glass

A Poem by Louisa April

Silence means a lot when saying something
They say the quiet ones are the ones to watch out for
The stranger in the street or your friend at school
.. the quiet ones.. the wise ones, with the blinding smiles and beautiful eyes
I don’t know when I fell for you, but I fell hard
good things don’t last, time is moving fast
My love for you was easy to see But I haven't felt yours yet…
But I have felt you,.. in me You victimized my worth
Decided my fate, I belonged to you in those few minutes...
My heart... beating
Beating just a bit a bit faster, Breathing just a bit harder
Fingers, fingering, searching for soft spots
To caress , hold.. mold.. choke
*stop!*
And id choke on my own spit
You labelled me victim, with ten fingers, two hands..and a dick
You ripped my clothes and pushed me to the wooden floor and kicked
Kicked my legs apart.. and knelt between them, they just wouldn’t shut
I lay there with eyes open, Afraid my eyes may never open if I shut them
No one ever tells you what it feels like, to be broken
To be broken.. like broken glass
Cause once he was in , he was out
And I , I realized what he was all about..
No one ever tells you about the glass shards
The glass breaks yes, it hurts
they imbed themselves in and under the skin,
On the lining of my womb..
I will never be beautiful again
These scars will never fade.
How i wish i had amnesia cause then I wouldn't remember
That look in your eye, one I had never seen before
The color of your skin, the way you bit your lower lip
The feel of your hands on my juvenile hips
you inserted into me.. that which did not belong
It felt like forever.. I could not go on
Never before had the clock ticked so slowly
The smell of sweat, semen, blood..I felt acid tears scraping my cheek as they rolled down…
Not enough makeup in the world to hide my pain
Silence means a lot when saying something
I am all out of words Take back the night that I was shattered
The night I felt the shards cut my skin,
felt the blood trickle down my thigh…I heard him sigh
Sounds.. long and short notes
Screaming and groaning over creaking wooden floors
Screaming until parts of me began to disappear I begin to tear
and he didn't hear when I cried "stop!" “you”re hurting me,,”
Screaming until I lose my voice..i couldn’t cry out for help..i couldn’t sing
I couldn’t sing
“father can you hear me..i need you help today”
As he pushed.. i cried.
“I know that you are listening.. and it will be okay
and he pushed.. I gagged
And he pushed and he came and i.. died inside
Leaving behind a walking cadaver.. made of broken glass

I cant rebuild.. ill just lie in ruins.. pick up my broken pieces
Try to put them back together, but they just don’t seem to fit right..
The say the quiet ones are the ones to watch out for
the quiet ones.. the wise ones, with the blinding smiles and beautiful eyes
Why? God please tell me why?

there always comes a point where you think you can walk alone,
the darkness ain’t so dark, right?
You’ve learn to hide your skeletons in someone elses closet
When you can pretend it never happened
But he still rapes you in your dreams!
Night after night and you slowly lose the fight
Once a glass is broken, you can never really put it back together again..
No one ever tells you what it feels like, to be broken
.. the quiet ones.. the wise ones,with their all knowing eyes
They know these things
with their blinding smiles and beautiful eyes

Silence means a lot when saying something
The say the quiet ones are the ones to watch out for