Dreams

A surreal journey through my dreams, parallel to my life

I wake up.

I am sitting on a park bench. I must have fallen asleep watching the ducks. I get up and walk towards my apartment, and decide I will have pasta tonight. I need groceries for that. I turn around to go to the store, and run into a malformed man with torn clothes, scars, cuts, and bruises cover his body. He has my face. I take a step back, stunned. He grabs me and I scream. “You can’t help who you are,” he whispers through his teeth. “You will no longer see the stars in the sky because you are not worthy.” I try to push him off of me, but he is strong. “You cannot stop the chain of events that are unfolding. One day, you will have a choice. But you will not know when it comes, and once you have, you will regret that you did not know sooner.” He licks my face, lets go of me, and walks away.

I wake up.

The sand is hot where I lay. It forces me to my feet. I need water or I will die. I see a town in the distance and decide to go to it. As I walk, a group of travelers form around me. Some on camels, others on foot. We all walk, silently, towards the town. They have on blue masks and hold weapons that twist like snakes. As we get to the town walls, they make a high pitched whistling, and the guards run in fear. The mouths of the travelers’ masks open up and they all let out a low rumbling. The city walls fall at our feet. Men from the city are on the defensive. I am wearing a blue mask. We open the mouths of our masks and sing to them. They scream and rip out their eyes. We sing for the city, and it burns to the ground. We have won a great victory for lord Aunqi this day. I drink their blood, and am refreshed.

I wake up.

I am in the house of my childhood. My parents are yelling, but I am hungry. I put on pants and sneak down the stairs quietly. I go around the living room, and get to the kitchen. I put food in the microwave and sit on the floor. They are yelling about money. The microwave beeps. They know I’m here. “Oh, I didn’t know you were here sweetie!” says my mother, her voice pitched down. “I could have made you breakfast.” She walks into the kitchen and looks down at me. “What’s wrong honey, are you okay?” Her face twists into a huge grin. “I know you are okay. Things are always okay” She starts laughing, and so does my father. Her teeth grow sharp. “Why don’t you make me breakfast next time.” she screams, and bites my arm. I scream out in pain and try to back away, but she holds fast. “Don’t worry about it honey, it’s not your problem.” She takes a bite out of my thigh. My vision is blurry. “You will be okay sweetie,” she grins with blood dripping from her mouth, “mommy will always be here for you.”

I wake up.

“And with that, have a great spring break!” says my psychology professor. I grab my bag and get up. My friend punches me playfully in the arm. “Bro you slept through that whole class, that was insane!” He laughs, and grabs his bag too. I smile and say, “It's an acquired skill I wish I could un-acquire.” I laugh with him and we walk out of class. We say our goodbyes, and he turns to walk the other way. I start to walk to my car, and then look around. It's a nice sunny day, I should do something with it. I walk towards the garden. Strolling through it, I see a flower bed full of different color flowers. One catches my eye, a rose. I reach down to pluck it. As I touch it, it wraps a vine around my hand and digs its thorns into my flesh. I try to cry out, but no sound comes. It slowly pulls my arm into the ground, dragging the rest of my body down with it. Soon my whole arm is underground. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the malformed man with my face standing, watching. I try to cry out again, but this time blood erupts from my mouth. Another vine has dug itself into my chest and into my lungs. They keep dragging me down into the ground, and more vines wrap themselves around me. I get one last look back to where he was standing, but he is walking away. A vine goes into my ear.

I wake up.

I am in the back of the family car, on the way to Key West. Heavy rock blasts through my earphones, and I look out the window. I pretend I’m in a music video, singing along in my head to the lyrics I know by heart. My parents are arguing about a map, so I turn up my headphones a little louder. I watch the people in the other cars and pretend that to be in their spot, an adult with an adult life. I close my eyes and let the music take me away. Suddenly, everything stops. Except me. I fly into the seat in front of me, breaking my nose on impact. Glass like crystal rain surrounds me as I try to make sense of what happened. I get out of the car, limping slightly. The car is slammed into the back of a semi. I start to cry, not knowing what else to do. The driver gets out and starts to help my parents out of the car. I kneel, unable to move, crying. Blood waterfalls from my nose. Cars fly past us as my parents check to make they are both safe, and then come over to check on me. I get up, but lose my balance, forgetting about my sprained ankle. I fall into the road, and start to get up.

I wake up.

The ground boils but is cold to the touch. I stand up and survey my surroundings, and see that everything is covered in a green haze. I walk forward, coughing, trying to figure out where I am. Several human like figures wander around, but as I get closer I see they are almost human, also clearly not. One sees me but doesn’t care. It is thin and has an arm growing out of its chest, with a malformed hand at the end, permanently warped into a claw shape. It pokes at the ground, and then bends down and eats what it digs up. I walk by it, and it lets out a low growl, but turns away. I see a black sea. I walk towards it, and look to the sky. It is pure orange, with no visible sun or moon. As I get to the sea, several of the thin human like figures swim out of it, many of their limbs warped into crude fins. They hiss as I walk by, but they let me go. I walk into the water. It burns but I keep going. I want to stop, to run away. But the black sea calls to me. I need the pain. I need the pressure. I need the darkness. The water passes over my eyes, and my whole body burns. I breath in.

I wake up.

I prop myself up on my elbow and looked around. I am in the middle of the woods, nighttime, completely alone. Something is coming. I get up and run. Barefoot I sprint, dodging and weaving through the thick grove. It is coming. Behind me I hear it’s howls, like a thousand tortured rats. It is gaining on me. I hear limbs break and the soft pitter-patter of its bare feet. I can tell it grows closer by my anxiety levels rising. I burst into a clearing, and I turn around to see it fly out of the woods and tackle me. It's a hideous, malformed man with ripped clothes, scars, cuts, and bruises covering his destroyed body. There are no stars in the sky, only void. The man pulls out a knife, and raises it above his head. He has my face. He screams “I need redemption. This is not how it was supposed to be.” He stabs himself in the chest, and drags the blade down to his pelvis. He is filled with void, and no stars. His body erupts where he cut himself, darkness filling the world through his mortal wound.

I wake up.

I am laying on my back in the bottom of an ocean, but there is no water. The sky is black, with stars, but so far away. I shield my eyes from the sun with my hand, and sit up. Several of my friends are huddled around a fire. I walk over to them, and one of them hands me a blanket made of sharkskin. I sit down on the ground, and cough. “How was your nap?” one asked. “You always seem to be able to sleep wherever we are.” I chuckle and say, “Once you’ve seen s**t like I have, you can go to sleep anywhere. I don’t worry about anything anymore.” Someone else takes a swig of their wineskin and says “Yeah, well maybe you should start worrying. We got almost no food left, and are down to our emergency water supply.” He sighs. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. I'm just worried.” I nod. I understand what he means. It's been hard living these months. I stand up and say, “Everyo-”. Before I can finish even the first word, the person behind me stabs me, and I turn around. He smiles, and says “He was right. You should have worried more.”

I wake up.

I am in the back of the family car, on the way to Key West. Heavy rock blasts through my earphones, and I look out the window. I pretend I’m in a music video, singing along in my head to the lyrics I know by heart. My parents are arguing about a map, so I turn up my headphones a little louder. I watch the people in the other cars and pretend that… wait. What is that sign? A huge sign. A huge clown with “Deja Vu” written at the bottom of the sign. Several of these signs are lined up, one after the other, stretching as far as I can see into the distance. I tap on my mother’s shoulder, but she isn’t paying attention. “Sweetie just one second we are trying to figure out where to go.” I keep pointing but she won’t pay attention. Suddenly I remember. I scream “Watch the road!” My dad looks at me and says “Hey, don’t shout.” As he looks back to the road a semi slams on brakes in front of him.

I wake up.

I look up at a blue sky, no clouds. They are below me, supporting me as I stand up. Is this my reward? Maybe this is heaven. I look around, and see nothing but an expanse of clouds in every direction. I start walking, tripping on the sponginess of the ground. I see a tower, forcing its way through the landscape like a sword through a slain beast. As I near it, I see it is made of smooth black stone. I run my hands over it. It grows warmer. Too warm. Hot. I jump back and hold my seared hand, and the face of the stone opens. A giant being towers over me, at least three times my size. It reaches down and picks me up, its long fingers wrapping several times around my body. I give in. As it raises me up to its face, I ask, “Are you God?” It smiles, and I see several rows of sharp teeth. “If I was,” it responds, “You wouldn’t have been allowed to even touch my home.” It throws me at the ground, sending me flying through the clouds and out the other side. I am free falling in a dark expanse. All of the sunlight from above is blocked by the clouds. Tiny lights flicker below, and I can see hundreds of similar towers, most not tall enough to reach the clouds. I scream for help, but the beings below pay me no mind. The ground grows faster, and I can see that each tower is connected through a series of tunnels made of the same stone. I smash into of the tunnels, shattering it like glass. One of the beings cries out, obviously startled by my entrance. I stand up, and it looks down on me. “How did you get here?” it asks. I point upward. “I came from the clouds.” It laughs, a high pitched and unsettling sound. “Yeah, and I own the Omicron tower. Get out of here.” It kicks me, and I am falling again. The end is near, I am passing the last of the tunnels. Is this my punishment? Maybe this is hell.

I wake up.

I am in a white room. Four doors stand silent on the wall in front of me. Nothing else is in the room. I stand up and walk to the first door. It is covered in detailed maps of the night sky, charts and patterns of the stars. The second door is a blueprint for a door, painted on the door. The third is half code, half binary. The fourth is crimson red. I stand back and look at them. I open the first door, and walk through. I am in the same room, but this time with three doors. Where the first door was is replaced by the body of a small child, nailed to the wall. I almost throw up at the sight, it looks just like me when I was a boy. I quickly pass through the second door. I am in the room again, but where the second door was, stands the ragged man with my face. He smiles, and points to the third door. “Only one option left.” I slowly walk to the third door, keeping my eyes on the man. I open it and look in, wondering if I will end up in the same place again. He kicks me and I fall through. I look up. Same room. No doors. In the place of all four doors is a table with a handgun. I stand up and walk to the table. I pick up the gun, point it at my head, and pull the trigger.

I wake up.

I am in my high school english class. I must have fallen asleep. I grab my backpack and look at my watch. Only three minutes until my next class. I run down the hall, weaving through the crowd of people walking in all directions. I finally get to the classroom, but the door is closed. I look in, and I see that class has already started. I knock on the door, and look at my watch. The teacher must have just closed the door. He opens the door and looks at me. “Well if it isn’t Christian, back from his break.” My cheeks go red. “I was actually sick,” I stammer, swinging my backpack to my chest to grab the doctor's note, “I still have that thing…” He slaps the note out of my hand and grabs me by the shoulders. “I don’t give a s**t,” he says through gritted teeth. “You think anyone will give a s**t about if you are sick or not when you get a job?” I look down. “I mean, I hope they would.” He suddenly throws me into the classroom, and I land on the floor. He looks down at me and screams, “No one will ever give a s**t about you! No one but your mommy, should I call her?” He grabs my cell phone and smashes it against the wall. “Looks like you can’t anymore.” He starts punching me in the face. The class gets up to watch. They laugh at how pathetic and weak I am. He is still hitting me. They are still laughing. I can feel my teeth come loose, I can feel blood flow from my nose and eyes. He punches me in the chest, breaking several of my ribs. “I guess you will have to take more time off,” he yells. This sends the class into hysteria, all of them laughing so hard they are screaming. I can’t feel my body anymore. Everything is numb. Rings form around the edges of my vision.

I wake up.

A siren is going off. I jump out of my cot, and grab my uniform. I follow the mob out the door of the barracks to the armory, and we each grab our gun. An attack? Here? We just secured peace. Why would they attack us now? Artillery shells land all over the base as we run to the barricades and towers. I smell the stench of burned flesh and hear the screams of men I can’t save. I dunk behind a barricade just in time, the guy behind me gets hit with a large round, sending him back several meters and opening his chest up. I need to not focus on him. I need to focus on repelling the enemy. I peer over the cover and see several foot soldiers rushing us. I fire three bullets into each, and they fall. I breath deep. I have never killed anyone before now. I lean over and throw up, emptying what little they give us for nourishment around here. I pop my head up again, and see several of our soldiers charging, and hiding in improvised foxholes made by the now stopped artillery fire. I rush to them, ignoring the sounds of bullets whizzing past my ears. I dive into one, and my best friend is there. He’s laying on his chest and firing into the enemy line. He looks over and smiles at me. “Finally, we get some f*****g action!” I can tell his smile and enthusiasm are fake. I force a smile myself and nod. “Better than doing paperwork all day, right?” He forces a laugh and yells, “Hell yeah buddy!” We both are laying now, providing cover fire for more of us to move up. “Alright,” he grunts, “time for us to move.” He stands up and his head explodes. I scream, and grab his falling body. “F**k f**k f**k” I saw to no one. I look across the battlefield at the people who killed my friend. “F**k you!” I scream, standing and running towards them.

I wake up.

“Baby, babe wake up.” She shakes me awake, and I rub my eyes. “Sorry, sorry. Work must have taken more of me than I thought.” I smile apologetically at her, and she sighs. “It's alright, I just want to spend some time with you. Ya know, when you are awake.” I groan and she laughs, running her hand across my chest. “Well, maybe getting up and doing something will make you less tired. The sun is just going down, and the park is really pretty at this hour. And I know you love those ducks. I laugh and kiss her. “Yeah, but not as much as I love you. That's why I feed you more.” She shakes her head and gets up, pulling me with her. “Come ooooooonnnn, please?” She knows I can’t resist her puppy eyes, so I say “Yeah, alright.” and kiss her forehead. We put on sweaters and go walking. She was right, the park is really pretty at twilight. I hold her hand, and she smiles wide. “I toooold you it would be nice.” I nod, and say “Okay fine, maybe you are right *some* of the time. Or all the time.” She hugs my arm. A man walks towards us on the path. Strange, most people aren’t out at this time of night. I let go of her hand and move it to my pocket knife. He looks strange, malformed with torn clothes. I whisper “It's okay, just stay close to me.” He looks up, and I see it. My face. I remember. I scream and pull out my knife. “Um, honey… what's wrong?” she stammers, trying to hold my arm back. “He’s not hurting us, lets just leave.” I lunge at him, stabbing him in the chest. He screams in agony as I tackle him, repeatedly stabbing him in the chest. “I know him from my dreams! He… he’s not real! He can’t be!” I scream as I stab. She drops to her knees and starts crying. I have ripped open his chest, but he’s still breathing. He looks in my eyes and smiles. “This won’t change anything. You still can’t see the stars.” I look up at the night sky. Tears stream down my face. The sky is dark and empty.

I wake up.

I am laying in a field of grass. The sun shines brightly and my skin is warmed. I stand up, and smile. I pick a flower and smell its aroma. I put it behind my ear and start walking, the soft grass feeling nice on my bare feet. I look around and see a forest with a small trail. I walk towards it, wondering where the trail goes. I peer down the path, and start to walk on it. My toe hits a metal object, and I cry out in muted pain. A rusty knife and some torn clothes lay on the ground. That's strange. I walk into the forest to see where the path goes.

I wake up.

My arms and legs are chained to a wall. The room is poorly lit but I can see a figure standing across the room. She walks up to me and grabs me by the neck. “I am in full control. You are nothing but an object to me.” She spits in my eye. I blink to try to get it out and she laughs at my discomfort. “It's going to get a lot worse that that.” She gently rubs my eye to get it out, and then slaps me across the face. “That’s the nicest I’m going to be to you. What do you say?” I choke as I try to speak and manage a “Thank you mam.” She smiles and says, “Good boy.” She punches me in the stomach and I double over, breathing hard to try to catch my breath. “Don’t you want to make me happy?” she asks, rubbing my stomach. “Of course.” I say weakly, still recovering from the hit. She punches me again. “Good, then you won’t mind if I keep doing it.” She pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts off my shirt. “Oh, don’t you look good?” she says as she punches me again. I nearly throw up, and she rubs my cheek. “Maybe I should stop that. Then we can get on to the main part.” She grabs my genitals hard. “You are going to make me very happy.” She punches me again, this time in the groin. My vision goes blurry, and she does it again.

I wake up.

I am in a tar pit. I can’t move. I am sinking. I try to scream but my mouth won’t make a sound. Hands raise from out of the tar and grab me, pulling me deeper. As my head goes under I feel it move around me, like a beast digesting its prey. I kick and punch, but the hands pull me deeper. I open my eyes and I can see even though it is pitch black. I see a leviathan swimming below me, deep and ancient. I see twisted beings, misformed with torn clothes, dragging me deeper. Three have my face, the fourth has a hole in his face. Two have an open chest. The four pull me deeper, past the leviathan, and deeper still. I see every kind of beast, every kind of reality, every kind of choice. I see everything I could ever have been and everything I can be. I want to go back. I want to fix it all. The four pull me deeper. I twist and try to scream more. I see all my friends, everything they could be. All the ways I’m helping. All the ways I’m holding them back. I see my parents, the things they could have done. I look down and see nothing but a deeper pit, endlessly showing me what I could have. Good and bad. Fake and reality. Nothing is certain here. It swirls endlessly around me.

I wake up.

“We will be landing in thirty minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts, secure your tray tables, and put away all electronic devices.” I rub my eyes, and smile. Thank God I got to sleep through that flight. I’m not about to keep myself entertained for 9 hours. I open my window visor and look out across the cloud expanse. I scan the horizon, then suddenly stop. Over the right wing, I see it. The black tower rising out of the clouds. I panic. I start breathing fast, and put my head in my hands. I get up, and scoot past the other passengers. The flight attendant stops me. “Excuse me sir, please return to your seat. The fasten seatbelt sign is-” I push past her, and open the panel with the parachute picture on it. “Sir, don’t do that.” I turn around and a security officer is in my face. “Put it back, you are going to be okay. We will land soon” He reaches out to grab the parachute, but I jump backwards and open the lock. Wing swirls inside of the plane as I jump out, putting on the parachute as I’m falling. Was it all a dream? Or was it pointing to something? I open the parachute and float to towards the tower. The air pressure is low. It is hard to breath. I can make it. I need to make it. My vision gets blurry. I need to know if what I saw is real. I can’t be crazy. That's not possible. That's not-

I wake up.

Netflix shows “Are you still watching?” on my tv, and I chuckle to myself. “I guess not.” I turn off the tv and sit up with a grunt. I really should be doing school work, but I’m so stressed and depressed it makes it hard. I stumble to my refrigerator and grab a powerade. I look at the front door and see my running shoes, the ones I bought to be more active and hopefully get me out of this rut I stuck myself in. I sigh and put them on. It’s been awhile since I’ve been walking. I used to do it clear my head. Now would be a good time for that. I walk out the front door and down the road. I heard about a new park that just opened, maybe I could go walk there. I look at my phone to make sure I’m going in the right direction. It's a cute little park, a small forest, a small meadow, and a little pond in a the middle. I walk down the path and pass lots of people, but as I get closer to the center, there are less people. I guess most people don’t like going out at twilight, but it's my favorite time of day. There is one couple, though. They hold hands and walk towards me. They obviously are happy to be spending time together. I smile at them. The guy looks at me, and panics. He pulls out a knife, and lunges at me. He stabs me in the chest over and over. That’s when I remember. I rip off his hood and look at him in the full moonlight. He has my face. He screams something about seeing me in his dreams. My chest is ripped open from the knife. I am losing consciousness from the blood loss. I no longer can hold my head up, and it hits the pavement. I look up at the dark sky. If anything, I’m glad that I can die looking at the thing I find the most beautiful: the stars.

Author's Note

First draft, may have grammatical problems/spelling errors.