Awakening

Information, records, old News Papers and Spirits. He tried to scare me with it, but I'm not five years old anymore. I don't sleep with a night light.

There was four rows, and 8 chairs lined side by side.

Walking into the quiet, but still library, I can smell the sweetness of the just-used carpet deodorizer. The vacuum cleaner hadn't been used not so long ago, I still had seen the stroke marks of vacuumed rows along the carpet. The heat still mildly rising from the task. The atmosphere is buzzing with all things that wake my senses. Lying everywhere, the light was dim, I could feel fresh air coming from the open window and i could almost taste the smell of bakeries from across the lot.

The new books felt smooth and the old table had many rough and sharp splinters. I could hear the fire crackling, from the corner of the room, the blue flames over powering the red. Madame Librarian, with honey-brown hair in a taut bun, wire-rimmed glasses hanging on silver chain mid-way to her chest, walks so stiff and snobby down to the root. Her face is serious: no smiles allowed seemed written on her face. The librarian hushing some of the kids, and a chair scraping against the floor. The only sound is the soft patter of feet on thick, soft plush carpet, whispers and the occasional hum of a copy machine.

The place, always like this, feels like a shelter of refuge. Warm, abiding, accepting. I would never take anything for the good things a library offers. I urge anyone to experience the "sense sensation" sometimes, but they never feel it.

There was twenty kids to be exact. Twenty-one including me. We went by last names and if your last name was the same as the other, they go by time of birth. I wore a dirty yellow dress, child appropriate. The length to my knees, i had my mothers old tan plaid sleeve-less jacket on with my curls pinned to the back. I grabbed a seat farthest from everyone, my bottom tend to numb the longer i sat on it. The seat cushion I was on felt like rubber stuffed with cotton and balled up paper. As did Michkult, he pulled one up in front of me. Sometimes he acted like a real father, he did his part to keep my mama and I safe. He plucked up my chin and kissed my forehead.

"Your mother and I will be waiting outside with Noah. We will be on the bench." We didn't own a car like most people. We couldn't afford much like others. Michkult was a tooth paste maker. He made it, then the machine squirts it into the bottle. Mama wanted to be a professional Jazz player but couldn't find the right people. Me? My job was to study and learn to pass the seventh grade.

Michkult pulled out his handkerchief. He inhaled it to his nostrils. I heard a deep growl though his cold breath.

"We can't be late for your Reincarnation," I remember hearing. The Reincarnation was when children would earn their Guardians. Most people were excited to get theirs, I just never cared for either of them. I wanted to be just like her mother, human. Not like Michkult, Drew knew from when he healed her brothers scar and how his eyes turned black, then how Michkult would hit her, she knew from the bottom of her heart he had the bad Guardian. Drew's mother walked out the room with Michkult right behind.

I took another wince at his handkerchief, it his Guardians craft. He grind his teeth, happily. Peeking an evil smirk from his bewilder smile. He hushed me with such a shaky tone. Michkult brushed his lips against my hair,

"Choose wisely," he had to have meant my craft for my Guardian. I knew I could choose the craft without one.

"Don't believe any of that bull your mama says. Your heart is not pure. Not Good or Evil." Michkult began to puff with an uneasy cough, soon began to laugh under his breath. He wiped his nose with the handkerchief and pushed the chair back with his foot. He played the mess up with her hair, loosening all the pins.

Michkult wasn't always this scary. Sometimes he would be nice. I smiled at the word 'nice' and double crossed my legs back and fourth.

"What are you smiling about?" It was John Avail. John had brown hair cut mid way down to his ears and scrappy little stick man arms. His knees were paler then his face. He had worn a red polo and blue shorts. Teachers didn't seem to notice the paper balls and glue in my hair every accident i ran in with him. Or even noticed being trapped in a continuum of the Mary-go-Round vomit cycle.

"Drew is a boys name"

"No it's not. It can be a girls name too. The girl from Charles Angles name is Drew!" he threw a glue stick.

"Drew is a boys name. And no it's not, her names Natalie." he groaned. My class argued along. That was only time i was sent to the office for being to loud.

"Shut up!" I cried. I stifled my head into my knees till Mrs. Gallimore told me to leave the room. The murmurs of the class, had gotten louder every step i moved closer to the door, and further out.

"Are you deaf?" John interrupted my flashback. He turned away to the other kids. "No" Before I could even speak, i was silence. Cut off.

The day seemed to end fairly to long, I was still waiting. There was three kids left, Joanna Olive. Megan Squalls. Mark K. Unitas. Joanna had left the room and there was only two left. Mark had moved over beside me. I've liked him for two years. His skin was a dark caramel color.

"After Joanna I'm next, then you." I couldn't believe he talked to me. He reached for my hand,

"Good luck. Lets not go evil today" he joked around. I had laughed right after. I swallowed hard on my saliva.

"What do you think you will find?" I whispered. He place his hand behind his ear. I asked once more just a bit louder.

"Oh. I don't know maybe like spare change" he through his hands up in the air, laughing hard. I didn't see it as a joke, but if he did so did I. I laughed along.

"You?" He gestured toward me,

"A book, or a nicer dress" I pointed at my dress, it was dirty and smelly like this conversation. When he looked at my dress he had stopped smiling. It wasn't the best thing to say. It was a conversation killer.

"Mark K. Unitas?" A women so sheik and elegant, called for his name. It hadn't been Miss Madame Librarian who called his name, it had been a younger women. With such beauty i wish I had.

"I guess I'm up." he patted my shoulder and pushed himself up by his arms. Before he went in, he forked over a smiled to me. I waved with such force in my hand, i looked like I was over excited to see him. Which was true, I didn't want to seem desperate though.

It was an thirty minutes into the waiting for Mark to get out, Mark had walked out, with the widest smile I've seen all year. Mark slid over to me, and opened up his hand.

Spare change.

Mark had picked up six coins. One with the number five printed. Two sheep with a bronze color. One star and two angels painted clear white. He must had gotten the good Guardian.

If Mark knew what he wanted and ended up with a good Guardian, maybe I can too. Even better, not to have a Guardian at all.

"Drew Emily Red?" I wasn't ready for this. My heart pounded at the sound of my name. Felt like darkness already surrounded me, locked me and forced me to take whats within. It was like I've already had my Guardian, and I was only getting have the max I gotten. And going through this, I would get the full power of evil. I could hear my own gulp through the silence, I think Mark could too. He had jerked his head towards the women. He mouthed, 'Everything will be fine,' How could he think everything is going to be fine after all chaos in the world? It's dangerous to mess with Gods creation.

I didn't want a Guardian.

"Drew Emily Red?" she called again. The lady held a clip board in her hand and started scribbling with her red ink pen.

"That you?" I had cleared my throat, and nodded. I took in a deep breath, but it seemed like four the longer i stood beside her.

"Birthday today check?" i nodded again. I looked around, Mark hadn't left. I was so happy. He supported me.

"Brown eyes check. Brown hair check." I had stopped her from her writing,

"Dirty blond Ma'am" she arched her lip at me and rolled her eyes. For such a beautiful women, she made eveverything feel more awakward, then they already were. She checked me from head to toe.

"Poor, check." She had hung the clip board on the nail above the desk. Then turned towards me.

"Hello darling. My name is Julie. Julie Williams I will be your guide to the Urb," Mama said Urb is the root word for City. The Underground city of City. I thought it was pretty funny, for a name to be repeated twice in one sentence. When she had asked me the questions i never realized her southern ascent. I loved the way her sweet, mellow country ascent went with her snotty approach. It was lovely, to bad her personality didn't fit with it.

Julie Williams had worn a lavender tank top under her black skirt with a white and gold belt. She had black heels. I didn't see why she needed them. She was already too tall. Julie had tight spiral curls and pearl earrings. Thin bracelets gold and silver. She had glossed her lips not so long ago. I could tell by the way the light in the room, had shinned on them. I wonder what was her Guardian. Good or bad, neither?

"Com' on darling. Got one more kid waiting. Then my shift is over." Julie had opened the back door for me. I wasn't ready I thought to myself. I never wanted one. Before walking through the door, the door held a sign up saying. 'Do not enter' couldn't we just listen to the sign?

There was a hallway with three doors on each side. Looked simple, casual. Not dark. Not scary. Yellow page walls with ripples through the wall papers, as if an animal had clawed its way out the this tiny hall. Three chairs. Two on one side, one chair on the other. A trashcan on my near left, with only one picture hung; down in front of the lane of this tiny hall.

Was Me.

I tugged on Julie's wrist, and pointed at my picture. Startled by this bewitched magic, Julie had said to me,

"Calm down darling, it does that when it senses a human without a Guardian. It means it's getting the room ready for you sweet." she yanked on her wrist vigoursly and i had released her. Julie had smirked at me, it wasn't a sweet smile it was more, you're going to get what's coming to ya. Look on her face. I wasn't really getting a good vibe on her.

Julie sent me to the second door on the right. When she had opened it, the door made a squeaking sound, creaking like a horror movie waiting to paralyze your breath before the worse comes. The room was dark, but the candles were lit all around.

Vanilla. It was a good choice in smell of the room.

There was hundreds of paintings hung on the wall, mostly women in dresses and men in Silver War uniforms. One or two of Washington in the boat. few or more of Columbus sailing the seas. There were pearls and jewels scattered all over the floor. A full length mirror centered in the back of the room. Two navy blue, almost considered black, steps leading up to it.

A bronze bowl in front of the mirror. Quilts and blankets were laid neatly on the floor. Cups and silverware positioned into a sun. I knew what i wanted from this room. I had left Julie's side and ran for the lace necklace hanging from elephant tusk on the circle wooden table.

"Sweet heart, get back over here. This isn't the room. We gotta do a little ritual for God to send you, your very own Guardian." Ritual? Michkult never told me anything about a ritual nor did Mama.

"I thought the Guardians stayed in the crafts?"

"The good ones do, but some of the bad ones need to be locked up at night." She winked and sucked her teeth in. I still had a bad vibe on her.

"What do I do?" i walked back towards her. She just shook her head, and smiled as if everything was going to be Okay. She reached my arm, but i had pulled away.

"i won't let you hurt me." i commanded.

"Maybe if you didn't struggle I wouldn't hurt you." Julie reached for my arm again. She got me. I struggled to pull away, but she already had me in both her hands.

"Come here you little brat!" she screeched. She pulled me over to the mirror, where i could see myself being forced. My own reflection, cradling my scarred face in its oval dimensions. Julie shoved my head over the bowl, reaching over for the sun-ware, which was the silverware positioned like the sun. The knife was already in her hand, while her other hand was wrapped around the back of my neck. She daggered straight to my wrist. I kicked with so much force, she ended up swinging at my lip.

As it dripped from my lip, I tried licking it up before it fell. But that bitter liquid beat me to the drop. Julie shoved my head over the bowl.

"Can't let this blood go to waste." four drops had launched into the bowl. When Julie finally relaxed and removed the hair from out her face, she laid beside me as I kept my head knelled into the bowl.

"God you're a killer. Are you always this hard to control?"

"Some days it's worse than others." Julie then licked her lips in relief and relaxed, slumming onto her shoulders. I didn't like being called a killer. Made me sound all hunger. Which I wasn't. When i leaned my head forth towards the mirror, the bulding cut was forming over my cracked lips.

"Sweet heart don't worry, once you get your Guardian it will go all away." All away. I never wanted this. I never wanted a Guardian. I want to stay human like my mother. I wasn't meant to have a Guardian. They were bad news and look of it by starring at Julie, I knew she had the darkness.

"What if i get a craft without a Guardian?" I clenched the quilt in my hand.

"Baby cakes with the rate you were going, kicking and screaming, you're bound to have one." an evil smirked peeked from the corner of her lips.

"No im not,"

"Yes, rebels always get the bad."

"Or the good, how did you end up evil?" I pulled the quilt up to my lip and brushed the blood off, feeling a slight sting. I pulled back and let the blood dry instead.

"Sometimes the smallest ones are the most deadliest." she flashed her pearl earrings at me, and bit hard on her bottom lip. She first huffed in disbelief, and had let it go after a second of thinking it over again.

"When will I know?" I asked. She acted out the whole scene. 'When you pick it up, you will feel all weird and stuff. You can feel it through your bones.'

"I send you right back and i write down what you got. Then you will be moved." I had lost my balance. Moved? Where?

"Just to another school. We prefer you all separate"

"I prefer you guys not to give me a Guardian." I cried. Julie rolled her eyes again and brushed it off her chest with a laugh. Glad she thought this was funny. She pushed her herself up and brushed her hair back with her hands. Julie shoved the bowl over to the side with her heel. There laid a key underneath it. Julie bent over and picked it. On the mirror lyed a disk, thin and small. She slid it all away around appearing a key whole. After unlocking the mirror, Julie opened it to another room. I checked the sides of the mirror. Nothing even appearing behind it, empty space. Julie reappeared her face through the space I was looking through.

"Going in anytime soon?" I didn't really trust her, but Julie steady eyed the knife on the floor, I was hoping she wasnt planning on threatening me.

It was beautiful. If my tiny hands could carry so much I'd carry this mirror our the door. I loved the richness in it. If I took some I can save my family. Live better, eat better. Look like the beautiful thirteen year old girls in the teen movies. Some things didn't deserve be real, or seen. The room was so clean. Not a web in site. No rodents. They must stay down here, always cleaning everything. There was barely any room to walk through. There were two torches lit. The room was a muddy brown color with hints of gold shinning.

Drew. A sweet but luring voice had called.

"What Julie?" Julie had shrugged. "I didn't say anything" It was the Guardians. Some wanted me already, but they can't I'm strong enough to see through their lies.

I hope.

There was a bin filled with coins, the ones Mark had! I had grabbed the exact ones he had. Maybe i can be good, even better not even have one. I searched through the bin, I couldn't find the Five Mark had.

Drew don't pick them, their bad. Choose wisely. When i heard the voice it reminded me of when i was with Michkult; He hushed me with such a shaky tone. Michkult brushed his lips against my hair almost kissing the numb of my ear, "Choose wisely."

Could it be the good Guardian telling me to stay far away? I tossed them back into the bin, Julie cleared her throat. I turned to her, she was taping her wrist. I must have been going to slow. As I walked further into the room, there was a wardrobe. I shook the knob to open, but it wouldn't budge.

"Sweet heart that wardrobe has never opened for anyone been years since someone opened it. You are out of luck." It has to open. I forked over, spinning on my heels. Facing Julie, I had heard the voice again.

Open the wardrobe, you'll find me. I wasn't sure if I should, like Julie said, even the littlest things are the deadliest. Michkults handkerchief. But, Mark had coins, they were good till something told me they were bad.

My head began to hurt, so much to think without messing up on everything. The voice was more serious, threatening. A voice was throbbing in my head.

Open it, Open it, Open it. I heard a man scream. It wasn't the women voice anymore. In seconds it all jumbled in my head, Stop i thought to myself, but it yelled open it.

"Stop it!" I cried out loud.

"Damn it will you pick already," Julie conintued to rush me, there was too much pressure in one room, in one mind, in my head. I paced myself towards the wardrobe.

"I told you it doesn't open" I tugged hard on it, and the voices still continued, pull. They commanded. With all my might, the doors released without force.

The inside was a sandy blonde. I rubbed the door, feeling the smooth texture. Not a chip or splinter in site.

Pick me, pick me, Pick me. Four dresses. Two pairs of shoes and a blouse was left there. I do need to clothes i thought to myself. The dresses seemed to big on me, and the shoes were to small, but the blouse was perfect. I took it off and balled it up in my arms. With a slithering tongue of such confusing language, the blouse had caught on fire. I threw it down onto the ground, and turned over to the book lying where the blouse had seated. When i turned back around to the blouse, the fire had seemed to dimmed and extinguish itself.

Did you, i almost called to Julie. Asking if she had seen the fire start or even hear the voices.

I flashed my eyes back on the wooden plate the book laid on. Such fine gold and jewels that be-wild my senses, i walked back to the wardrobe and glared deep into the bloody red Rinestones. I jumbled the book in my hands from left to right feeling the lightness it was almost like i was holding a picture, thick texture but if it fell, it would fall with elegence.

"I want this one," I smiled with confidence.