ALL BY MYSELF

A GIRL AND HER LIFE AND THOUGHTS IN THE 1930S.

                           ALL BY MYSELF.

 

                       A PLAY IN TWO ACTS.

 

 

                      FOR ONE ACTOR.

 

    BY.

 

                           T.J.COLLETT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                              Act One. Scene One.

It is the summer of 1936 and Lydia a girl in her early teens is sitting on some stone steps that lead from the façade of a large country house upper stage. She is wearing a knee length polka dot dress. Her feet are bare. Her hair is shoulder length and she has a moody expression. Excuse me while I sit here and let my temper cool down. (Pause.) Adults.

I hate adults. I dislike adults in general, but my aunt and uncle in particular. Uncle Henry hates me having an opinion. “When you are older, Lydia, you will be entitled to an opinion, but until then you should give way to your elders,” he said at breakfast time. And Aunt Elizabeth, in her stiff voice added: “Opinions are dangerous things; one must be sure that one’s opinions are wise and shared by many.” Wise and shared by many. Her voice grates on me. I’d far rather have Uncle Henry’s gruff voice than her stiff one. However, an opinion is an opinion and I’d would rather have an unwise opinion and have it alone in the entire universe than not have one at all.

(Lydia loops her finger in her hair and twirls it around absentmindedly. She stares back at the house behind her for a few moments, then turns and gazes over the countryside in front of her.)

Chesterton, my cousin, has his opinions. He holds them quite strongly. “That Hitler chap needs to be watched,” he said at dinner the other night. “Germany is getting dangerously strong,” he added, giving me the over-the-nose glance. And Florence, my other cousin of this family, said that she thought Mr.Hitler had made Germany somewhere decent to live after the horrors of the Twenties with all that unemployment and communists everywhere. Uncle Henry grunted when Florence made her views known. Aunt Elizabeth just pulled a face as if she was in discomfort and a piece of toast had lodged in her throat. I just listened at first, but then I said, “Herr Hitler isn’t so friendly with the Jews.” And Uncle Henry gruffly said that I was too young to have an opinion about such matters and that children should be visible but not heard. Visible but not heard, I ask you. (Lydia tugs at her hair and moves forward so that her head is resting briefly on her knees. She then looks up and around her and then releases her finger from her hair.) I’d rather be invisible and bellow my head off to use the expression.  Aunt Elizabeth said nothing about Herr Hitler. She was more concerned about my dress. “It’s too short, Lydia. You’ve grown out of it.

Why you must grow so fast is beyond me,” she moaned, staring at me over her piece of toast. As if it were my fault, I have grown this last month or so. “You ought not to walk about with your dress so short, there are men about the grounds,” she added when I made no comment.

There are two gardeners. Fulbright never lifts his eyes from his plants and Hardy wouldn’t notice if I walked about naked banging a drum. (She lifts her dress up her legs slightly so that it rests above her knees.)

Chesterton’s girlfriend was at dinner yesterday. She’s tall, slim, and reasonably good-looking, but I don’t like her. She seldom speaks to me unless Chesterton is with her and he makes some comment to me. Flora she’s called. Flora. What a name. I would hate such a name. She dresses for every meal. She must bring a complete wardrobe with her every time she visits considering the number of times she changes over the few days she’s here.

 

I love my polka dot dress. I’d wear it all day everyday if I could. Aunt will try to have it taken away and tell Norris the maid to hide it. “Norris, do this and Norris do that,” Aunt says. Poor girl. I call her Nora, which is her first name. Nora will let me keep it and secretly wash it for me if I so desire it. I would rather have Nora than Flora any day. Nora wears her black and white uniform day in day out and occasionally she does tend to smell a bit, but she’s kind to me and we have a laugh when there’s no one else about the place. (Lydia sighs. Pushes her fingers through her hair and wriggles her bottom on the stone steps.) My Polka dot dress. (Lifts the hem of her dress and kisses it) Hardy and Fulbright wouldn’t care what length my dress was. Too short indeed. (Lydia puts her hands on her knees and looks over the gardens. A small smile comes over her face. Then she moves her legs side to side so that her knees touch and then depart and so that her hands cross over to the other knee in turn. She does this in silence for a few moments, then stops and sits still staring forward.)

I won’t marry. I couldn’t bear for a man to do things to me that Chesterton does to Flora. Not that he knows I’ve seen them together. Nevertheless, I have. By accident of course. I would never have spied on them deliberately. They were in the summerhouse together and I was lying at the far end enjoying the peace and quiet. Then I heard voices. Then I saw them. (Lydia smiles broadly.) No. I shall not marry. Nora has a man friend. She told me the other week. Not that she says what they get up to. But I guess it’s the same with her and her man friend. Opinions are opinions. I’ve had my own for as long as I could speak. And no matter what Uncle Henry says, I’ll have my say. However, he won’t know because I’ll keep my opinion to myself. (Pause. Silence.)

                           

                                    End of scene One.

 

 

                                     

       

 

 

 

         Scene Two.

 

It is an hour later and Lydia is once again sitting on the stone steps. She is dressed as she was previously, but now she holds a cigarette in her right hand.

 

I liberated this cigarette from my uncle's study when he wasn't there. (She lifts the cigarette to her nose and sniffs it a couple of times. Then she rolls it between her fingers and thinks about putting it between her lips, but she doesn't. She looks at it, and then holds it between her fingers.) I'm quite tempted to have a pull on it, but not sure it's a good idea. Both Chesterton and Flora smoke, but they are older than I am and that seems to count more than anything nowadays." Must you smoke?" Aunt Elizabeth moaned at them. "It darkens the curtains, I'm sure." Uncle Henry just sniffed. Chesterton and Flora pulled faces when aunt wasn’t looking and continued to puff away like trains. (Lydia now imitates them by pretending to light the cigarette and puffing out invisible smoke.) Don't mind if I do, old chap. Lovely day, what? (She puts the cigarette in the pocket of her dress and sits silently for a few moments.)

 

I wish I knew my parents better before they died. I was only six when they moved on, as Nora says. Moved on. Moved on where? Heaven is what Aunt Elizabeth told me back then. Heaven was an unknown thing to me then, and it took her sometime to elaborate it simply, so that I could understand just what she was on about. Now I just miss them. Funny how your memory plays tricks on you. Some days I can almost imagine them clearly, but then I wonder if it’s how they really looked or whether it's my mind playing tricks on me.

 

Florence said the other day that she thought it was all nonsense this religious stuff. Aunt Elizabeth almost choked on her soup when she heard her. “One ought not to test the Almighty," aunt said. Florence lifting her nose said: “One can't test what doesn't exist, Mother." More choking on soup. Uncle said nothing. Chesterton looked at Flora and shrugged his shoulders. "It is not how you were brought up to think, Florence," aunt said. Silence descended. Uncle peered at Florence and then said:" It is all a matter of subjectivity. If one believes then He exists, if one doesn't then He does not." More choking on said soup. (Sits forward and rests her chin on her knees. Silence for a few moments.)

If one does, He does, if not, He does not. (Lifts her chin from her knees.) What a theology that is. Moreover, where does that leave my parents? In Heaven or nowhere? Aunt Elizabeth holds on to her faith like a jockey on a runaway horse.

 

 

I do believe in God and such things, but it is nice to have these matters confirmed by an adult occasionally. Not that I'd choke on my soup over such matters. Nora said she was a believer. "Since I was a little girl, I've believed," she said yesterday morning as she helped me dress. (Lydia puts her hands on her knees and moves her knees side to side for a matter of moments.)

 

I hate my school. The teachers are tolerable, but I hate everything else about the place. The other girls, apart from Lillian Framer and Nancy Potts, are unbearable. They have an air of snobbishness emanating from their bowels. Thank God and Uncle Henry I don't board there. I'd throw myself in the pond if I did. The headmistress, Miss George, has the appearance of a man in all but voice. I'm not sure about her other places, but her voice is feminine. Lillian said she thought she spotted fair hairs on Miss George's upper lip, but I've not noticed any. (Lydia sits still a few moments in silence.)

 

Nancy Potts kissed me on the last day of term. She's such a romantic. I said I'd not wash for months, but as soon as she had gone, I did. I like her though. She has a sweet nature. Her parents are awfully rich. In fact, I think I quite love her. (She smiles to herself.) She smells of lavender water. Her eyes are the colour of cornflowers and she has fair hair. Fair hair. Fair hair. (Smiles again.) Why she kissed me, I've no idea. Girls do these things. We do strange things at times. "Potts why are you always the last girl to change into your gymslip?" Miss Gouter said in our last lesson of term. Poor Nancy blushed as red as a robin's breast and muttered something about misplacing her things. "Things?" Miss Gouter said, “What things?" (Sits back and stares up at the sky.) God is in His Heaven and Nancy's lost her things. (Lowers her head and closes her eyes. Silence.)

 

                                   End of Scene Two. 

 

 

                                  

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

          Scene Three.

The scene opens with Lydia sitting on the stone steps. It is after lunch and she is brooding at her bare feet. We had a visitor for lunch. A Mr.Duke. He’s a friend of Uncle Henry. He’s something to do with the Foreign Office so Nora said. She’s my main informant on such matters. “All very hush hush,” she said. “What’s so hush hush about him?” I asked. “Matters of State,” Nora whispered.

 

All through lunch, he and Uncle were conversing about matters concerning Hitler and Nazi Germany. Aunt said nothing, just looked from Uncle to Mr. Duke and back again. Florence stared at our guest, but for once ventured no comment. Chesterton and Flora were out for lunch so they missed a treat. I sat in a subdued silence looking at this man with his smooth features who, occasionally gazed at me, with that look that I should imagine, paintings receive from people passing them by in a gallery. Not so much a look of admiration, but one of interest. He seemed quite taken with my polka dot dress. His pale-blue eyes kept returning to it and me every now and again as if it and I somehow mesmerised him. (Lydia smiles to herself and pulls her dress over her knees as far as it will go.) We females have that power. Florence said over dinner the other night “The power of us females is extraordinary concerning men. They may have political power, but we reign supreme in matters of sexual power over men.” Uncle Henry merely grunted as he does if he is in disagreement with an idea or statement. Aunt Elizabeth looked at Florence as if she were about to disown her daughter, but stopped short of actually saying so. (Pause. Lydia removes the cigarette from her dress pocket. It is a little bent, but she holds it up to her nose and sniffs at it.) The liberated cigarette. (Holds the cigarette in between her fingers and pretends to smoke it.) I want very much to smoke this cigarette, but have no match. (She looks ahead of her out across the garden as if searching for someone.) I wonder if old Fulbright or Hardy has a match they may let me have? (Stares hard. Then shrugs her shoulders and puts the cigarette back in her dress pocket.) I find myself thinking about Nancy Potts again. I should have asked Uncle Henry if she would be allowed to stay a few days over our summer holidays. I wish I had now. It’s not a lot of fun being here with just adults. Nancy and I could have had some fun together. Fished in the stream; climbed trees; scrumped apples from the orchard and many other things. However, would Nancy want to kiss me again, that’s the thing that held me back. (Rubs her cheek with her hand.) Nonetheless, everything has its price. Even a kiss. (Pause. Smiles.)        

   End of Scene Three

          

 

     Scene Four.

 

Scene opens on a small room. On the upper stage is a door. On the left is small bed with a chest of drawers lower stage. On the right is a wardrobe next to this a window with plain curtains, which are drawn back. The floor has small carpet in the centre on which stands an old armchair. Lydia enters the room harassed, closes the door behind her, and leans against it. I have had to come in my own room to escape Mr Duke. Or Edward as he insists. Ever since Uncle Henry left him in the garden, he’s done nothing but pester me. (Pause. Listens at the door.) You would think a girl would be safe in her own garden. Everywhere I went he was there asking questions, gazing at me, saying things like how nice I looked and how long my hair was. (Moves to the window and peers out.) He’s not out there now. Probably looking for me down by the pond. I hope he falls in. (Looks intensely down into the garden. Then stands back and looks back into her room.)I hope he doesn’t come up to my room. I thought he’d never go. I was praying that Hardy or Fulbright would turn up like knights in shining armour, but they didn’t. Men. Men. Why can’t

they understand us women. I was polite. I was prim. I never said a word that he could take as encouragement. (Goes and sits in the armchair.)

 

Nora saved the day when she called to me from the kitchen. Good old Nora. I must remember to thank her later when he’s gone. If he goes. I do hope he’s not staying for a few days. I shall have to hide every time he shows if he does. (Pause. Sits staring at her legs for a few moments.) Uncle Henry should be aware of his friend’s ideas. But how do I raise the subject? Uncle Henry, Mr.Duke has been pestering me most of the afternoon, could you have a word with him? What? Grunt. Grunt. Cough. Cough. Splutter. No. Not a good idea. (Sits up and stares around the room.) Aunt Elizabeth would probably have a seizure. I shall have to tell him myself. Tell him straight. Look into his eyes and say… (Rises from the armchair and walk to the window again.)What big eyes you have. No. That won’t do. (She stares intensely as if she has seen something.) No. That’s Fulbright. Perhaps I should just say something over dinner. Come out with it quite quietly. Mr.Duke can you stop pestering me. What if he puts his hand on my knee under the table? I shall scream, I know I shall. (Stands still in silence. Then moves back away from the window, but near enough to see out.) There he is. Looking for me. He’s like a bloodhound. (Moves closer.) I can see a bald patch from up here. He’s not so young as he imagines himself to be. I thought he was a gentleman seeing he’s from the Foreign Office. He’s talking to Fulbright. He won’t get much out of Fulbright. He won’t get much out of me either. (Pause. Moves away from the window, sits in the armchair, and pulls her dress over her knees.)                

 

           End of Scene Four..

              Scene Five.

 

The scene opens in the small room with Lydia standing by the wardrobe. One door is open with a long mirror attached to the door. Lydia stares at herself for a short time, and then puts her hands on her hips. She pulls a face, and then moves her hands up her body slowly, stopping at her breasts. I told Nora about Mr. Duke. Whom else could I tell? I had to tell some one. (Moves her hands down her body stopping at her hips.) She said she wasn't surprised. "They think they've got the right to do as they like,” she added, staring out of the window with me half an hour ago. "Did he touch you?" she asked. "No," I said. She looked at me all serious and looked me up and down. “Best tell your uncle," Nora said. "No, don't do that," I said. (Lydia turns and looks at her profile in the mirror.) "It would cause more trouble than it's worth,” I told her. She said she would have done had it been her. However, it wasn't she. It was me he seemed to pester. (Turns to the front and looks at herself seriously.) I won't marry. Nora said she might if her boyfriend agrees, but she doesn't think he will. Then she said I was a privileged child, but not stuck-up or spoilt. "Not like some of them," she said. (Pause. Turns from the wardrobe and walks to the window.)

 

Mr. Duke was silent at dinner. Chesterton was the one who spoke the most. He was so high-spirited. He was talking about going abroad to fight in Spain.

"Spain?" Uncle Henry said loudly." You'll do no such thing!" Aunt Elizabeth went pale and began to cry. Flora said she'd go with him, but was frightened of loud noises. Florence just gazed at Mr. Duke and tried to gain his attention, but without success. Chesterton was adamant about going to Spain and his face reddened with anger as he and Uncle Henry raised their voices.(Peers out of the window as if she has seen someone.) Mr. Duke with Florence. (Smiles.) What a pair they would make. No one deserves Florence. (Stands back from the window in case she is seen.) Florence told me a few weeks ago, when she was in one of her rare friendly moods, that sex was the primal instinct of us all. "What's a primal instinct?" I asked her. "Something innate which no religion or moral code can eradicate," she whispered. “What’s innate mean?" I asked." Means something inborn. Natural." She said this with a smile as if she had solved the problems of humankind. "What's sex like?" Florence looked at me kindly for a few moments. "You'll find out soon enough, Lydia," she said smiling. (She moves forward cautiously and peers out.) They're walking up by the roses. Rather her than me. Some men deserve no mercy. (Smiles. Pause.)

 

 

 

 

I can still feel Nancy's kiss on my cheek. (Looks away from the window and back into the room.) Took me by surprise when she did that. Nora said she would have slapped Nancy's face if it were her that she kissed. I tell Nora most things. I have to tell someone or it will be all bottled up inside and...But I didn't mind her kissing me really, I don't think. Nora's a dear to me. She's like a sort of big sister. Best not tell aunt that. (She moves to the armchair and sits down. Silence for a few minutes. She looks about the room and her expression darkens.) I wonder if I will find out about this primal instinct some day. This thing called sex interests me. Aunt treats the word itself like some kind of illness that is best avoided. Nora asked me what I knew about it. "Not a thing," I replied. "Nothing?" Nora said. "You have your..."Nora paused.” You know, your..." She stopped. "What?" I asked. "Monthly visits?" she said. "Where?" I said. Then she whispered to me and went on to educate me as best she could. "Oh." I nodded. Nora blushed. "Soon be supper," she said and was gone. I don't think I'll marry. (She looks down at her dress and pulls the hem down over her knees as far as she can. Silence.)

 

                                   End of Scene Five.

    

 

                              

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

               Scene Six.

Lydia is sitting on the stone steps after supper. It is a summer's evening with a departing sun in the sky. She sits with her hand on her knees gazing at the sky.

I had to come out here again before going to bed. I love this part of the day in summer. I love the peacefulness of it all. The birds getting themselves prepared for a night's sleep, the owls waking and getting ready for their search for food. (Pause.) There were raised voices downstairs earlier. Nora said Uncle Henry and Chesterton were having words. "Going hammer and tongs,” Nora said. "About Spain?" I asked. “About fighting in Spain," Nora said. "Why does Chesterton want to fight in Spain?" I asked. "Gawd knows," Nora said.( Lydia lifts up the hem of her polka dot dress and holds it had seen in between her fingers.) Aunt Elizabeth wants Nora to take this dress away tonight when I'm in bed and put it in the box aunt has for the poor families round about. Nora said she has to do as aunt says or she'll be in trouble. (Pause. Kisses the hem.) I love my dress. My polka dot dress. (She removes bent cigarette from the dress pocket and holds to her nose. Then she holds it between her fingers.) Bit bent now. Still smokeable. Only I've still no matches. In a Western film, I saw with Chesterton last year the cowboys chewed their tobacco. Don't fancy that much. I want to smoke the damned thing. (Puts the cigarette in the dress pocket.) No Mr.Duke. I think he and Florence are in the library. Uncle Henry and Chesterton are at it still I suppose. Flora is with aunt in the lounge talking about men and war, Nora told me a little while ago. And I am out here in the evening calm gazing at the sky. (Pause. Looks about the sky, then down at her bare feet.)I wonder if what Nora told me about sex is true. The thing sounds a bit unsavoury to me. However, I wonder what it feels like. The actual sensation. The actual feeling itself. Nora didn't describe that part. Just the things that happened. (Smiles.) Poor Nora, she did blush. Aunt would never have told me that. Florence may have done   so eventually if I had asked her enough times and she was in a good mood. (Her face changes and she becomes thoughtful.) Lillian told Nancy and me at school that she had heard a rumour that some girls did things to themselves to... (Stops and looks up at the sky.) Bats! Yuck! I hate the things. (Follows the bats with her eyes until she is satisfied they have gone again.)Lillian didn't say what they did. Trust Lillian to only get half a story. I wish Nancy were here now. We could sit here together and watch the day end. There are plenty of rooms in the house in which she could have stayed. It would have been company. (Lydia sighs. She sits in silence for a few moments.) I shall write to her tomorrow. (Rubs her cheek with her hand.) Can still feel that kiss. Can still sense the wetness of it. It wasn't so bad after all. Quite liked it really. Quite liked it. (She sits staring into the gradually darkening sky. Silence. Curtain falls.   

                                      End of Scene Six..

                    Scene Seven.

                  

Scene opens with Lydia standing by the window. She is dressed in a night-dress and is bare footed. Her bed has been slept in, but is left with the bed clovers thrown back.

Nora prepared me for bed some hours back, but I can’t sleep. So much has happened today that my head is spinning with thoughts. (She leans forward and looks up at the night sky. She folds her arms behind her back with her hands holding each other loosely.) Uncle Henry has shut himself away in his study and Chesterton has taken Flora back to London for a few days so he can cool down, Nora told me as she tucked me in to bed. “Too hot headed the both of them,” she whispered to me. “Will Chesterton be back?” I asked. “Of course he will,” Nora said with a smile.

 

Lying in bed just now, I thought of Nancy. Thought about the kiss. Silly thing a kiss. Why it should make such an impression on me, I’ve no idea. Perhaps Nora is right and I should have slapped Nancy's face, but… (Moves back from the window as if she has seen something.) Florence and Mr.Duke. Out at this hour. (Leans a little closer, but bending down slightly and peering over the window ledge.)If anyone deserved each other, it’s those two. Wonder what aunt makes of it? Poor Aunt Elizabeth. She has no sense of time passing. Wants things always to remain as they are. She and my mother were sisters. I was staying here the day my parents were killed in a boating accident in Italy. Both drowned. (Stands up and peers out at the night.) Florence has stopped by the birches. He’s kissing her. God be my witness if my eyes go blind. She’s kissing him too. Who’s kissing whom? (Smiles briefly.) You can get too much of a bad thing. Now they are walking on. He’s taken hold of her hand. (Peers harder as if her life depends on seeing more.) Thank God for the moonlight. (Pause.)Kissing again. This is too much for one my age. Now I’ll never sleep. (Screws up her eyes.) Gone. They are out of my sight. Damn it. (Sighs deeply. Silence a she stands staring at the night.) I hate the sea. It took my parents. Mother was found a day or so later. Father’s body was a few weeks later. (Moves away from the window, walks to the armchair, and sits down.)

 

I wonder what those girls did to themselves. Lillian should have got the whole story. Trust her to only get half of it. Nancy might know. I’ll have to ask her next term. (Feels down at the side of the armchair and pulls out the bent cigarette. She studies it for a few moments, and then holds it between her fingers.) I hid it from Nora. She took my polka dot dress away. I wanted to keep it, but didn’t want to get Nora in trouble.

 

(She stands up and goes to a candle burning on the dressing table. She bends forward and lights the cigarette from the flicking flame. She inhales slowly and coughs a few times.) I want to do something daring. I want to be alive. (Inhales again and coughs a few more times.) If aunt could see me now, she’d…Or once she would have done. Not in recent times, she hasn’t. She hit me with her hairbrush at one time. (Puffs away again. Then stands looking at the cigarette.) I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Bloody thing. (Goes to the window and opens it, then throws out the cigarette.) Goodbye liberated cigarette. (Stands looking down at the darkness below.) Florence and Mr.Duke the Laurel and Hardy of Harmsworth House. She’ll not let him do anything she doesn’t want. I wonder if they’ve gone to the summerhouse. Hope they don’t do what Chesterton and Flora did. (She smiles, then moves away from the window and slowly walks towards the bed. She sits on the edge and lets her legs dangle over the side.) I wish Nancy were here. I didn’t want Nora to go. I asked her to stay awhile, but she said she was too busy. Nancy would make good company. (Looks down at her legs.) If we were boarders at school, we might have shared a dormitory. What fun that might have been. (Lifts her nightdress up her legs until it is half way up her thigh, then pauses.) I wouldn’t even mind if she… (She sniffs the air)I can smell the smoke. I hope it’s gone by morning or Nora will moan at me. (She pulls down the nightdress over her knees and stares across the room.)

 

If all I had to worry about were, Nora and her telling me off, I’d be a happy girl. However, everything seems to be crowding in on me tonight, as if every thought and trouble in the world were hanging about my room and depressing me. (Pause. She gets off the edge of the bed, climbs in between the bed covers, and sits staring downstage.) If only Nancy were here. Why didn’t Nora stay? I want my mother and father back. (Pause. Wipes her nose on the hem of the sheet.) Aunt Elizabeth has never kissed me. Nancy has. A kiss is a kiss is a kiss. (Silence.)

 

        End of Scene Seven.

   End of Act One.

 

 

 

                               

 

 

 

 

 

 

       Act Two. Scene One.

Three weeks later. Early morning and Lydia is sitting on the stone steps with her arms folded, staring into the distance. She is wearing the polka dot dress and is bare-footed. Her hair is tied in a bow at the back with a white ribbon.

I like it here at this time of the morning. It refreshes me after a restless night. Las

t night was a restless night. (Pause.) Nancy went back home yesterday after being here a week. I shall miss her not being here. We did so much together...More of that later. (Pause. Unfolds her arms and puts her hands on her knees.)

 

Uncle Henry hardly spoke over breakfast. He had his head buried in the newspaper except when he ate his breakfast in nibbles here and there. He did grunt a few times when he found something disagreeable in the newspaper. Aunt Elizabeth sat staring at him only turning her head away to glance at Florence or me. “We have that Mr. Larks coming for lunch today," aunt said," so I need you to be on your best behaviour, Florence." Florence lowered her eyes to her teacup, then gazed at aunt and said, "I always am on my best behaviour. When have I ever been other wise?" Uncle Henry grunted again. Aunt frowned." Have you forgotten Edward Duke so soon?" Florence smiled a small smile." Edward and I had an understanding," Florence said. Aunt sighed. "Not an understanding we would have had in our day," aunt said.

(Pause. Lydia looks at her hands. Then she lifts the hem of her dress.)

 

I have my polka-dot dress back. And aunt didn't notice. Good old Nora. She's worth her weight in gold to me. (Puts the hem to her lips and kisses it.) I love this dress. Odd how one can like something as simple as a dress. Nancy thought it quaint...Nancy Potts. I could repeat that name a thousand times and never tire of it. That was why I had such a restless night. She wasn't here. I knew it even as I tried to sleep. I even heard the owls hoot. (Stops and stares across the horizon.)

 

It's the garden boy. He's new. He's come to replace Hardy who died last week. Poor old Hardy. Collapsed in the vegetable garden. Fell amongst the onions. (Pulls her dress over her knees. Sits upright.)He's called Green. Green the garden boy. "That Green seems to be settling in," aunt said yesterday lunchtime. "Fulbright says he'll do." Nora says his first name's George. His father's a cowman. Full of information is Nora. She's my main informant. What she doesn't know about this house is not worth knowing. (Lydia looks back at the house. Then back at the horizon again.)

 

 

 

That Green is looking this way. I hope he's not going to be a bother and come and talk with me. Uncle would not appreciate that. Nor would aunt. "That dress is far too short," she'd say. He's looking away now. Hardy never looked at me. I think he was short-sighted. Or is it longsighted? Anyway, he never noticed me. Never noticed my short dress. Unless... (Searches in her dress pocket for something. After a few seconds, she produces a cigarette.)Another liberated cigarette from uncle's study. (Sniffs the cigarette, and then puts it between her lips. She pretends to smoke it for a short period of time. Then puts it back in her pocket.)I do it for the fun of it. Liberated it for the joy of it. God knows what he'd say if he caught me. Aunt would fume and tell me off in that stiff voice of hers. Once she would have disciplined me, but now she's unsure of things. (Sits forward and rests her hands on her knees.) Since Chesterton went off to London after he and Uncle Henry had that row, she's been very tearful. Flora came that week for a day, but she was torn in two and never really said much that was new. Chesterton's still determined to go to Spain and fight. Him and some friends from university. All very exciting in a far away sort of thing. (Looks into the distance.)

Florence and Edward Duke have been seeing each other on and off these last few weeks. He came here the day before yesterday. He still tries to engage me in conversation when Florence is out of the way. He stares at me. His eyes moving all over me like he was sizing me up for a coffin. Or worse. Nancy thought him strange. Some nights I think he's crept into my bedroom and is tiptoeing across the floor towards me with those eyes of his. One night I was convinced he was coming across the floor, but it was Nancy. Strange man. He and Florence are well suited. Like salt and pepper. He's salty and she's peppery. Yuk to them both. (Silence. Sits staring into the distance.)

                      End of Scene One. 

 

 

 

       

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

       Act Two. Scene Two.

 

Later in the morning. Lydia is sitting on the stone steps looking out at the gardens. Her hands are resting in her lap.

I always come here just to sit and look at the view. It’s such a wonderful view. Apart from uncle’s garden there is the scenery beyond which is breathtaking. Nevertheless, enough of that. I’ve just seen a Mrs Intow in the garden. Her husband is with uncle. I wondered who she was and so asked her outright. “I’m Mrs Intow,” she said. “My husband is with Mr. Henry Harmsworth.” “He’s my uncle,” I said. “I live here.” She looked me up and down as if I had climbed over the garden wall from some gypsy camp. She didn’t seem impressed with my dress and bare-feet. (Lydia smiles to herself.) I stood looking defiant with my arms crossed and a haughty look on my face. “I was told Mr. Harmsworth had a rare statue in his garden; do you know where it might be?” she said. I showed her where it was, but she wasn’t particularly impressed. “We have a pond,” I said. “Pond?” she said. “Lovely fishes in it,” I said. “Fishes hold no interest to me,” she said. I shrugged my shoulders and left her there with the statue, which she was impressed with and wandered down to the pond on my own. (Pause.)

 

I hope they are not here for lunch. What with Mr. Larks and possibly Edward Duke it will be a crowded table with faces all gazing at my polka dot dress and me. (Pause.)

 

I heard Florence playing music on the gramophone early this morning. There she was winding up the contraption with one hand and sorting amongst her collection of records with the other. “What music is that?” I asked. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you out in the sunshine and fresh air?” she said. “I wondered what the noise was and came to look,” I replied. “It’s Jazz,” she said shaking her head slightly as if it had come loose. “Now go off,” she said. “Jazz? Can you dance to it?” I said standing defiantly by the French windows. “Are you still here?” she said. “Go off and play or torment somebody else.”(Pause.)

 

Oh, no. That Green boy is looking this way again. He will stare so. It’s a wonder Fulbright doesn’t have a word with him. He’s as bad as Edward Duke is. He’s always gawking at me. When I went to the pond, he was looking at me. I felt like sticking my tongue out at him, but thought it a bad example to set.

(Looks back at the house. Then after a few moments turns and stares out at the garden.) No sign of Mr.Intow. I presume he’s from some government office or some such place. Nora will know. She’ll inform me later. I hope he’s not like his wife. She has more hairs and graces than a St. Bernard dog. She looks a bit like a St.Bernard. Her face and features and the way she holds here head when she speaks. (Sits forward and rests her forehead on her knees. Silence. After a short period, she sits up and stares across the garden.)

 

I miss Nancy not being here. We had such fun last week. We sat here quite often and just gazed at the view and talked about things. Yesterday when she went home, I was sad and I still am. (She takes a handkerchief out of her dress pocket and wipes her nose.) She and I would go down to the pond, sit, and watch the fishes and talk about our school or our home life such as it is. (Puts the handkerchief away in her dress pocket.)

 

That Green boy’s looking this way again. Has he nothing better to do than gawk at me. Nancy thought him ill mannered, said he came over and chattered to her in a way she thought rude and…I was elsewhere at the time. I do miss her. More of that later. (Stands and walks down the stone steps, walks forward a few paces, and stares over the garden.)

 

Aunt Elizabeth and Mrs Intow should get on well together if they stay to lunch. Chatter chatter. Gossip gossip. Moan moan. I do hope they’re not at lunch. God take the Intows. God take Edward. (Walks back and forth along the stage occasionally looking back at the house. After a short period, she stops and stares out at the garden. She pokes out her tongue at the garden boy George Green. Then she walks off stage left.)

 

                                             End of Scene Two.

 

 

 

                                 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Act Two. Scene Three.

 

Same scene after lunch. Lydia is sitting on the stone steps eating an apple. She pauses.)

The Intows were not at lunch thank God. They had an appointment to see the Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin and so had to leave as soon as Mr Intow had finished talking with uncle. Good old Mr.Baldwin long may he do whatever it is he does and keep the likes of the Intows from our door. Edward came unfortunately and was his usual self. All eyes, smiles, endless questions, and unwanted compliments about my hair and eyes and other parts of my anatomy. Florence sat next to Mr.Larks and Edward and was like the proverbial rose between two thorns, which doesn't say much for the rose. (Pause.)

 

Uncle Henry and Mr.Larks spoke about the economy and foreign affairs involving that Hitler man again. Aunt Elizabeth sat stony faced, talking to Edward occasionally, or Florence and I if something occurred in her mind, which she felt we should know. Edward Duke sat with an intense look on his face as if wanted to give us the impression he was intelligent and aware of our deepest thoughts. (Pause. Lydia throws away the apple core.) I do hope he wasn't aware of mine. I shall blush if he was. Florence's thoughts too would be an embarrassment, if what she and he get up to some evenings is anything to go by. (Sighs. Looks about her as if someone might be listening, then deciding no one is she looks out over the horizon,)

Nancy and I kissed again. The first time was just after her arrival and we were unpacking her clothes in one of the guest bedrooms. No thought about slapping her face occurred to me. It was some how strangely nice. I showed her the view from her window and she turned and kissed my cheek.

“I missed you," she said. “I so much wanted you here. I asked my uncle and he said yes and so here you are," I said. "It's a big house. I never realised it was so big," she said looking about the room and out of the window. (Pause.)

 

That Green boy is down by the roses. He is looking here again. I hate it when he gawks so. “Green is making good progress," Aunt Elizabeth said to uncle lunch time in between Uncle's talk with Mr. Larks. "A good choice," Uncle said. "Fulbright says he'll do." He may do for Fulbright, but he's a nuisance as far as I'm concerned. Nancy didn't like him. She said he was most familiar with her. (Lydia stops. She sits upright and folds her arms over her breast.)

 

 

Edward and Florence have gone into town. Mr.Larks has returned to London. Nora said he's from the Home Office and is engaged to be married next month. My consolations to his intended. Nora wasn't sure about Nancy. She gave her the firm stare when she first came, but I'm sure she liked her after a few days. At least she said she did and Nora's not one to lie. How I have digressed. So easy sitting here letting one's thoughts race off like playful children. I think Nora will make a good mother when and if she decides to marry. She can be quite strict and firm if she has to be. I wish she were older and was my mother. (Pause.)

 

Nancy Potts. I find it hard not to think about her now that she'd gone. She didn't know what the girls Lillian spoke of did either. I am none the wiser. Lillian says she knows but I don't think she does. She often says she knows things and she hasn't a clue. Nancy would never have kissed Lillian. It would have sent Lillian over the top and...I think it best I mention no more of that. Aunt would not believe what we girls talk about in private. Uncle would cough and splutter if he heard us and...(Smiles.)Lillian has a sweet smile. Her parents are rich and spend much of their time abroad. Poor Lillian has to stay in her parent’s big house when they are away with only her Nanny Gibbs for company. (Pause.) I think I ought to wander. Nora says I'll get piles if I sit on these stone steps too long. "Piles of what?" I asked. "Piles of pain," Nora said. "Where?" I asked. "You'll find out if you sit there too long," she said. Whatever piles are I don't want them, but I do love sitting here. Such a lovely view. So peaceful. So peaceful. (Pause. Silence.)

 

                            End of Scene Three.

 

 

  

                              

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

        Act Two. Scene Four.

 

Later in the day after dinner. Lydia is in her bedroom standing by the window. She holds a smoking cigarette in her right hand.

It’s raining. (Pause.) I wanted to go out, sit, and look at the evening sky. I love looking at the evening in summer with the late birdsong and the sight of the bats swooping all over the place. (Takes a drag of the cigarette and slowly exhales. She looks at the cigarette in between her fingers as if deciding to take another drag.)

 

 

 

It’s moments like that sitting there on those steps that I really do appreciate being alive. Better still when Green’s not about gawking at me from a flowerbed or some other viewpoint. (Takes another drag from the cigarette and exhales slowly again.)There’s Florence out in the rain with Edward Duke. Running towards the summerhouse it seems. What she sees in him I’ve no idea. However, what he sees in her is even more baffling. A real puzzle.( She looks at the cigarette in between her fingers for a few moments, then decides she’s had enough and opens the window and throws it out, then closes the window.) Edward was quite talkative during dinner. He and Florence almost held the floor with their constant chatter. “And then, to the surprise of Edward and myself, she turned around and poked out her tongue,” Florence said. “Yes and the whole room went quiet as doomsday,” Edward said. Uncle Henry grunted a few times. Aunt Elizabeth nodded her head like a puppet with a snapped string and said:” It only takes a person such as that to lower the tone of a place.”(Lydia stops and stands back from the window slightly as if afraid she might be seen.) Nora. What’s she doing out in the rain? Who’s she with? (Leans forward and peers out of the window with great interest.) God. It’s Chesterton. The Prodigal returns. He’s standing chatting in the rain and getting poor Nora quite wet. There’s Flora too. Gosh, she’s looks quite drenched. Two soaked lovebirds. Nora’s taking them through the back door. (She leans even further forward so that her nose is right against the windowpane.) Gone. Aunt will be relieved to see him. Uncle will not be quite so relieved. (Pause. Stands back from the window. Looks around the room and walk slowly to the armchair and sits down.) Lillian’s letter came this afternoon by second post. She didn’t have much to say that was new. Her dog Flush has died and her Nanny discovered her smoking a cigarette in the greenhouse and has forbidden her any sweets for a month. How exciting. How boring can a letter get? I shall burn it. I shall have another sleepless night. (She stares forward as if in a trance. Silence.)                         

 

                                   End of Scene Four.

   Act Two. Scene Five.

 

An hour later. Lydia is sitting on her bed. She is in her nightdress.

Nora has told me the most startling news. Chesterton and Flora are on their way to Spain in the morning. They only came briefly to see Aunt. Uncle refused to see Chesterton unless he had changed his mind, which he hadn’t so uncle, didn’t see him. Aunt was most distressed, Nora said. “Can’t for love or money see the sense of it all,” she said. “Is it the end of their relationship?” I asked. “Seems most likely, young Lydia, seems most likely,” Nora whispered. She sat on the bed with me and put her arm around me in a gesture of comfort. I do wish I could live with her somewhere away from here. I wish she were older and was my mother. (Pause.)

 

Nancy sat on this bed with me the night before last. We both dreaded the morning and her having to leave. In fact, we spent a lot of time on and in this bed together over the last week. “I find that bedroom so cold, Lydia. I shall freeze to death if I stay there alone,” Nancy said the night she came into my bedroom and crept in bed beside me. It was a cold room. No one sleeps there much. It’s like Siberia in winter. (She lies down on the bed and stares up at the ceiling.) I miss her. I miss her talking. I miss her closeness. I miss her warmth beside me in bed. I miss the things we did and the things we said. Not that Nora knew anything about it, thank God. I miss her for being her and the time we shared. Shan’t see her again until next term, which is in two weeks. What an eternity.

(Pause. Gets up, walks slowly to the window, and looks out at the evening sky.)

Florence and Edward are to be engaged, Nora informed me after tea. She overheard Edward with Uncle Henry and the words engagement. “Lose a son and gain a son,” Nora said. “Your aunt was very pleased.” They are well suited. But I hope he doesn’t come and stay too often. Hope they live somewhere far away like New Zealand. What a day it’s been. I shall be alone here soon with aunt and uncle. Just the servants and us. I hope Nora doesn’t leave. I do hope she stays forever. Otherwise, I shall be all by myself. All by myself. (Stands staring at the sky for a short period, then walks back to the bed. She pulls back the bed covers, climbs in and lies down. Silence.) Curtains fall.)

 

                                  End of Act Two and Scene Five.