REGRETS SHE SAID.

A GIRL SEES A PSYCHIATRIST ABOUT HER REGRETS

Regrets are sad
like a cancer
that won't go away
she said
always there growing
like big black spiders
in my sleep.

The psychiatrist sat
in the chair
by the couch
where she lay.

We all have regrets
he said
part of the human make-up.

But mine are mine
she said
things I've said
or done or not done
or said and I can't
get them out
of my head.

The psychiatrist leaned
forward hands together
bald head lowered
a watch chain looped
from his waistcoat pocket.

What regrets have you?
he said
lifting his big
brown eyes to her
seeing a scenery of thigh
in the spilt of her skirt.

She looked at her feet
the black shoes
I got up the duff
and had the baby
done away with
she said
peering at the scuff marks
on the toes of her shoes.

The psychiatrist
raised his eyes to her head
the way her hair
was parted in the center
brown coloured.

And that is one
of your regrets?
He said
noticing her eyes
staring into space
the narrowness of her face.

Saw this picture
of a baby at the age
mine was when
I had it done
she said
looking at him
seeing his plump features
the lips moving.

Many women
have abortions each year
he said
some have regrets
some do not.

I didn't go see
my mum when she
had cancer
never visited her
and she died
she said.

Why did you
not visit her?
he asked
feeling a mild headache
beginning.

We had a row
about me having
the baby done in
and we didn't talk after
she said.

He nodded grim faced
and silenced
an inner laughter.