GRACE'S LOST SOUL 1940

A BLIND AND LEGLESS WOMAN IN LONDON IN 1940

I hear birds singing
and feel the warm sun
on my uplifted face,

I have been wheeled
into the grounds
of the hospital
I hear voices of others
I cannot see
my blind eyes turn
in the direction of sound,

I still have Philip's words
about marriage in my ears
and it unsettles me
as we hardly
know each other
and I without sight or legs
would be a burden on him
and I do not want his pity
although he says it is love,

I have told no one
about his proposal
it seems too unsettling
to talk about it yet
but I sit here
and look into darkness
and feel empty inside
as if I have opened a door
and blackness entered into me
and I feel lost,

I am dependant on others
on things which others
cope with on their own
and when they will and can
while I have to be taken places
and lifted or carried
to the toilet or bath,

I hear someone talk
as they pass by
another replies
far off the hum
of traffic
and a nearby laugh.