LOST AND GONE MCMLXIX

Cowled and sitting
in the large church
the monks chanted Matins
matutinus officium,

I felt the chill
in my bones
as I watched
overcoat tight
about my throat,

un bacio sulla gola
the Italian girl said to me
I recalled as I listened
to the chants proceed,

auto-déni
the French monk
had said to me
the evening before
before Compline
la croix symbolise
un vide de soi,

Bro Andrew in the bookshop
bookbinding
snow on the outer window ledge
smiling
spreading his huge beard
come see he said
and handed me
a huge book
bound by him
evangelio de San Juan,

bells tolling
vibrating in the cloisters
disturbing the butterfly
on the window
seeking the sun
flapped away
before me watching,

the cross symbolizes
the denial of self
the self crossed out
the monk said
as I sat in the guest room
late one evening
his tonsured head shining
where the light
from the bulb shone,

I mused
on the girl's kiss
now lost and gone.