SO NEVER MCMLXXI

A YOUTH IN AN ABBEY AND HAUNTED BY A WOMAN

Sunlight through windows
of the refectory
coloured glass
patterning
the wooden floor,

lux Dei
Dom Frederick said
and that book he wrote
I purchased
with a traveller's cheque
and an old monk
questioned it,

parlare con Dio
mio figlio
the Italian monk
said to me
as we sat
in the common room
after lunch,

kiss me here
she said
pointing with her
slim finger
and I did
salty tasting,

the peace of the church
unlike any other
the smell of incense
from Mass  
and smell
of baked bread,

I feel that when
I am charitable
it is Jesus alone
who acts in me
Therese said
some place
Saint that is,

Jésus travaille
en nous
the French monk said
when I asked him
why he came,

take me
she said
I am so hot
with wanting,

there is nothing
absolutely
in our power
except our own thoughts
Gareth said
quoting Descartes
that time
in the cloister garth
after the office of None,

Hugh thin
and hawk-eyed
fingered where
I had dusted
looking for dust
and there was none,  

mit Gott ich bin stark
the Austrian monk
told me as we sorted
books in the abbey library,

if I had done
as she said
I could have
sowed seeds forever
but I said no
and so never.