OPENED SHUTTERS MCMLXXI

A YOUTH IN AN ABBEY IS HAUNTED BY A WOMAN HE KNEW IN 1971

I opened the shutters
of  my room
and the 5am morning
welcomed me
with dawn chorus,

the bell tower stood
like a giant in the mist
viewed from my window,

Deus movet me,

the abbey toilet was empty
and I filled my basin
with cold water
for ablutions,

lavabis me sunt
alba sicut nix,

my cup runs over
she said and laughed
after sex and so did I,

Dom James spoke
of learning Latin for plainsong
and to practise reading
aloud in church
and I dreaded such,

nous avons un Dieu écoute
the French monk said
as he showed me
how to lay out
the vestments for Mass,

George talked of the way
the dawn light
brightens up the abbey
in mornings and I said
I had seen,

kiss me here she said
and pointed with her finger
and I did
and did again,

ohne Gott gibt es nichts
the Austrian monk said
as we walked back
to the abbey after
our walk on the Thursday,

I brushed my hand along
the brick wall
in the cloister
sensing the roughness
and the smoothness,

Hugh said the Scottish monk
had funny ways
liked knitting in his
spare time and once
played the bagpipes
so I heard,

why must we suffer?
because here below
pure Love cannot exist
without suffering
said St Bernadette
so I read some place,

un peccatore pentito
the Italian monk said
lo siamo anche noi,

I tolled the bell
for the office of Sext
my stomach rumbling,

we are what we repeatedly do
excellence is not an act
but a habit Gareth said
quoting Aristotle
as we sat on the beach
in the abbey grounds
watching the tide roll in,

I counted her ribs
with my tongue
and she was pleased,

the monk reading
in the refectory read
on Mary Queen of Scots
in monotone
his eyes scanning
the pages of the book,

see this she said
as she undressed
and I turned around
and had to look.