THOSE DAYS OF TEARS 1940

A BLIND AND LEGLESS WOMAN IN A lONDON HOSPITAL IN 1940

We'd danced until late
and the went off
to some restaurant
Clive knew
and later a club
still open
then Clive walked me home

as we stood outside
looking at the night sky
I said
do you want
to come in for coffee?

you have coffee?
he said

yes a friend
got it for me
I said

all right
he said
and we went in
and had coffee
and then we ended up
in my bed

after sex
we lay there
and he said about
after the War
we could marry

Grace Grace
are you awake?
a voice says
to my right

I stare where
the voice sounds
yes I'm awake
I say
looking through
blind eyes at darkness

can I have a look
at your leg stumps
and give them
a wash down?
the voice says

who are you?
I say

Nurse Rogers
I've been away
back today

yes of course
I say
sensing her pull back
the blankets
and lift up my nightgown
and unbandage the stumps

I feel her cool soft hands
against my skin
it is ages since Clive
did that to me
rub my legs after sex
sometimes before
I muse
as she removes the bandages
and rubs the stumps

how are they?
I ask

they are looking all right
clean and no sign
of infection
she says

I want it to be Clive
doing that
but he died in Dunkirk
and lies elsewhere now
sleeping the eternal rest
so they say
I muse
tears coming to my eyes

am I hurting you
the nurse says

no no
I say
just memories coming back
of some one I loved
who died

o sorry about that
she says
so much death these days
what with the War
and bombing
we had a lot in last night
when they bombed the docks

I say nothing
I pretend it is Clive
touching me
his hands moving
about my legs
and thighs
I sigh
and wipe my eyes.