AFTER DINNER OUT 1940

A WOMAN AND NURSE CONVERSE AFTER DINNER OUT IN 1940

I am back on the ward
after Philip took me out
to dinner in a restaurant
with the others

Nurse Kavel
undresses me for bed

I look at where
I think she is
with my blind eyes

was I good?
I ask

yes you did
very well
she says
her fingers remove
the red dress
and pull it over my head

then I sit there
semi undressed
balancing on the bed
feeling with my fingers
the aching leg stumps

legs hurt?
She says

yes a bit
I say

she finishes undressing me
then puts on my nightdress

I am on my back
staring into darkness
as she rubs my stumps
and unfolds the bandages
then re-bandages
them slowly
she talks about
the night out
and how well I did

were people
looking at me?
I ask

of course
she says
but they couldn't see
your leg stumps under
the red dress

then she has done
and is gone
and I lie alone
looking at darkness

I try to put together
the various words
and conversations
that went on
around me
putting lips to faces
that I couldn't see.