NO SOUND 1958

A BOY AND GIRL IN LONDON IN 1958 AND TALK ABOUT HER FATHER'S MURDER AND HOW THINGS ARE

It was Saturday morning
when I knocked
on Ingrid's door of the flats

her mum answered
and stared at me
want to come in?
she said

(she would never
have said that
if her husband
was still alive)

I noticed she was red-eyed
looked drawn
her hair was in a mess

thank you
I said

she let me in
I walked down
the passage way
to the lounge
where I had been
just the once
when Ingrid's old man
had been out
and I went to see her

Ingrid was at the table
eating breakfast
her mother was behind me
want a cuppa?
she said

yes that'd be nice
I said

she looked at me
then wandered out of the room

I went to the table
where Ingrid was
and sat near her

what you doing today?
Ingrid said

morning film matinee
I said

can I go?
she said

course you can
if  your mum will let you
I said

I'll ask her
Ingrid said
she ate her cereal slowly

any news
about your old man's death?
who stabbed him?
I said

she shook her head
no the police came
and asked Mum questions
but they think he got
in a fight
or upset someone
and that was it
bottled outside a pub
Ingrid said softly

sorry for you
and your mum
I said

(even though he beat them
and made their lives misery
I guessed they missed him)

can't believe it
Ingrid said
I wait for him to come in
some nights
I dream he's come home
him and Mum
are arguing again
and he's coming to my room
to leather me
then I wake up
and realize he's not
coming back anymore

are you glad?
I said

him hitting us no
but him as my dad yes
she said

her mum brought me
a cup of tea in
a chipped cup
on a chipped saucer
but the tea looked
the right colour
and was sweet

she went off
back to the kitchen

what time
is the film matinee?
Ingrid said

in an hour
I said
looking at the clock
on the mantelshelf
over the fireplace

best get ready then
and ask Mum
about going
she said
finishing off her breakfast

after she'd finished
she went off
to get dressed
in her day clothes

I sat in the lounge
looking around
it was odd
no shouts
or screaming
in fact no sound.