HAVING PATSY 1980

A MAN ON A TRAIN TO PARIS TO MEET A LOVER LEAVING HIS WIFE BEHIND HIM IN ENGLAND IN 1980

The train is moving as far
from Sheila as fast it can;
her image still stuck in my mind;
her there on the platform
saying she found it hard to cope
when I wasn't there
and how long
will you be, Eric?
she said,
as long as the job requires,
I said,
hoping the train
would soon come
and when it did I jumped
on board as soon
as the train stopped.

Now she is miles away,
walking back home,
head down,
crying no doubt,
one of her heads
coming on.

In Paris I'll meet Patsy
and we'll settle in the hotel
and get down to sex
almost straight away;
last month it was in Bournemouth
in some seedy hotel.

Ring me,
Sheila said,
when you get there;
just to hear your voice.

I said,
of course I will,
I always do;
even that time
in Bournemouth
when I was in bed with Patsy
ringing her with Patsy
naked beside me,
laying there making
faces at me,
me trying hard
not to laugh.

Eric,
Sheila said on the platform,
I will miss you tonight,
got to sleep on my own,
hope the children
don't play up
as they often do
when you're away.

The train rushes past stations,
past trees, fields,
houses and I look
around the train carriage
at the other passengers
and wonder where they
are going and if they too
are hiding or have
secrets like me.

Whether the woman opposite
who is mouthing words
to herself is quite right
in the head.

I look away
at the passing view,
trying to keep Sheila
out of my head
and look forward
to having Patsy
in Paris
in the bed.