LONLINESS COMPLETE 1997

A WOMAN MISSES HER LOVER AFTER SHE HAD GONE BACK TO HER HUSBAND IN DUBLIN IN 1997

Una goes into her bedroom
after Nuala's gone
and stares at the bed...

sees Nuala laying there
as she had done
spread waiting,
eyes bright,
smiling and giggling
like a school girl
in anticipation,
the pillows holding her head...

the room is silent now,
no one there,
bed unmade,
sheet and covers untidy
and pulled back...

she sits on the bed and sighs,
alone again,
feeling low and lays back
on the bed and tries
to soak in the sensations
the bed may have captured...

not the same bed
she had with Stu,
that was a different bed
which she had sold off
once Stu had died,
couldn't have her presence
here while sleeping or
making love to another...

you are different from Brian
Nuala had said,
I hope so Una had said,
he's a man and she laughed,
and Nuala had kissed her
and that first time both
had been shy
but Nuala had never been
with a woman before
in a sexual sense,
never had known this love
or this intensity...

Una holds herself tight,
pretends it's Nuala still there,
imagines it is Nuala
who is moving hands over her,
touching her cheek,
her lips and her hair,
Nuala who is unzipping her jeans,
she who is undressing her...

Brian never makes love
like this Nuala had said,
it's all over in a flash
and me laying there
all stirred up and him done,
me burning and him
burnt out wanting to sleep...

Una wants Nuala back again,
wants her beside her now,
pretends it is Nuala's fingers
touching her,
her breath breathing fast,
she who opens her up
like a flower...

the bedside clock
goes tick-tock tick-tock,
traffic goes by
on the Dublin street,
she sighs and stops,
Nuala has gone,
and Una's alone,
loneliness complete.