WAITING TO FALL 1971

A YOUNG MAN IN HOSPITAL IN 1971

Benedict had slit
from wrist to forearm
with a razor blade
liberated from some
old guy's razor

the nurse bandaged up
after stitching up

you want to be back
in the locked ward again?
she said

he sat on the wide stairs
blue carpeted
I want out
he said

well this is no way
to get out is it?
she said
eyeing him
professionally
taking his pulse
looking at the watch
pinned near to her breast

he sensed her
finger and thumb
on his wrist
slight perfume lingered

patients passed
on the stairs up or down
wide awake or drugged up

a nurse walked down
eyed him
again?
she said

the other nurse said
maybe just attention

not time for that
she said replying
then walked up and away

what do you want?
the nurse said
go backwards or onwards?

he eyed her
I want out of here
one way or the other

she sighed
let go of his wrist
if the doctor sees this
he'll have you
locked up again

Benedict rubbed the bandage
it was now sore
and pained him

you need to think
she said

he saw only dark mornings
and darker nights
and an endless corridor
of same following same

the nurse walked down
and away

he rubbed his arm
looked at the white bandage
and pink plaster

he was sown up
once more
he was Humpty Dumpty
on a wall
waiting to fall.