WHAT NEARLY HAPPENED 1971

A BOY AND GIRL ONE NIGHT ON A LOCKED WARD ON A PSYCHIATRIC WARD IN 1971.

What have you done to your wrist again? The night nurse said, bandaging the wrist, eyes intense, professionalism engaged. The night on the locked ward was quiet; other patients slept, just Yiska in a state, hair in a mess, wrist bleeding from a slit by a knife, once sewn up now bleeding again. It just began to bleed, Yiska said. The nurse gazed at her, sniffed, stared at the eyes of the young girl before her. The nurse continued doing her job on the wrist. Yiska mused on the attempted sex in the small shower room with Benedict a few moments ago. Cramp had got them both. No sex just cramp and the wrist bleeding. They'd kissed; got it going, but no sex. She was hot and bothered. The nurse worked to bandage up after the cleaning up. Yiska wondered if Benny had got back to his bed ok. He had wanted to go with her to find the nurse, but she had said, no go back or she'll think we've been up to no good. We haven't, he said. The shower room had been too small. It was worth the effort in some ways, but now she was frustrated and hot and her nerves were bad again and it showed in her face. What's up? The nurse said, you look anxious about something. Nothing, just depressed as hell, Yiska said. The nurse said nothing, just bandaged the wrist neatly and said, well there you are, cleaned up and packed once more. Thank you, Yiska said. She rubbed her thigh with her other hand; the cramp had gone, but the desire for sex had not. Nearly made it, she mused, walking away from the small surgical room, leaving the nurse to tidy up. Another time, maybe. Where? Not there. She walked to the lounge, dim lit from one single light on the wall above a painting of a forest scene. The window looked out on a dark night and moon and stars. The snow was still there. It looked cold out there. It was warm in the locked ward. She stood and gazed out. Aren't you going back to bed? The nurse said passing behind her. Is that an invitation? Yiska said dully. You are tired, look at you, the nurse said. Too depressed to sleep yet, Yiska said. All right, but don't stay up too long. The nurse walked off along to her night office. Yiska sat in an armchair by the window. Silence. Warmth. Yiska, a voice whispered. She looked around and there was Benny. He sat on the sofa next to the armchair. How'd it go? He asked. Florence Nightingale fixed me up, Yiska said, showing him her wrist. Sorry about that. He said. It was close. Nearly there, she said. He nodded. Cramp does it. Bugger the cramp, she said, smiling weakly. She mused on him there in his nightgown, eyes hazel, hair messed up. She looked away across at the snow covered trees over the way lit up by moonlight. What about the ECT Room? She said, turning to face him. What about it? He said. That's got beds in it, she said. Recovery beds, not wide, he replied. No, but wide enough for what we want, she said. Maybe it's locked, he said. Maybe it isn't, she said, her eyes bright, bluey looking. Shall I go try the door? He said. Be careful of Florence Nightingale, Yiska whispered. Benny got up and walked on tiptoe along the passage, dim lit by wall lamps. Yiska listened out for the nurse. After a few minutes Benny returned. The door's unlocked, he said. She smiled. Good, now how to work it, she said. You go back down there and wait for me there, she said. I'll tell the nurse I’m going back to bed and hopefully she'll stay put for the night. Benny nodded and walked back down the passage. Yiska walked to the night office and stood by the doorway. The nurse was at her desk reading reports. I'm off back to bed, Yiska said. Ok, the nurse said, sleep well. I will, Yiska replied. She walked off and out of the nurse's sight and crept along the passage where Benny had gone to the ECT Room. She opened the door and crept in. Benny stood there by the window looking out. Looks odd in the night doesn't it? He said. Yes, kind of creepy, she said, looking around the room where three single recovery beds were. Have to keep the lights off, he said else nursey may see the light under the door. Yiska nodded. Which one? She said. Take your pick, Benny said. She chose the one furtherest  from the door. She heaved herself onto the recovery bed and lifted her night dress up and lay there. He climbed in beside her best he could. It was so narrow. He'd lay there recovering from ETC before, but not beside anyone else. She held onto him and stared at him. He looked at her. She kissed him. He climbed onto her and settled between her thighs. She moved to accommodate him better. Seems odd here, doesn't it? she said quietly. Yes, kind of weird, he replied. They lay there still for a few moments. Want to? She whispered. He kissed her lips. He listened for other sounds. She was still, motionless. She breathed out slowly. What is it? She whispered. Not sure, he said. They both listened. The darkness of the room made it surreal. She was already damp, waiting, sensing him there between her thighs. Footsteps echoed along the passage. Clip-clop, shoes. Clip clop. Benny moved off of her and down beside the bed out of sight. Yiska pulled down her night dress and lay her legs out straight like a corpse. The door opened and a light switched on. The nurse stood there staring. Yiska? What are you doing here? Benny was flat out of sight not breathing or seemingly so. Wanted some place quiet, Yiska said, sitting up, rubbing her eyes. You can't sleep here, the nurse said, this door should have been locked anyway. Yiska got off the recovery bed reluctantly. It's better here, she said, no smells or voices calling out. Not allowed, the nurse said, eyeing Yiska, looking around the room. Back to your own bed, the nurse said, come on I’ll take you there make sure you are there this time. Yiska walked out of the room with the nurse, the nurse took a last look around the room and switched off the light.  Come on you, naughty girl, the nurse said, putting her arm under Yiska's arm, and tapping her bottom, and walked off down the passage. Benny waited a few minutes, then opened the door and closed it gently behind him and walked off towards the toilets at the end of the passage. Close thing, he mused, nearly got caught, yet in some ways it seemed exciting, them at it when nursey opened the door. He peed in the white enamel toilet bowl. Thought of Yiska, kissed his shoulder, pretending it was her. Yiska sat on her bed and gazed at the nurse. Sleep, the nurse said, no more mischief; I'll go lock that door, make sure you don't go in there again. The nurse walked off. Yiska sighed. She wondered if Benny got out the room ok. Hope he doesn't get locked in. she lay down frustrated. Hot for it. No place to go. She let her fingers play. Outside the falling down of more snow.

Reviews

[Tim Piotrowicz]

Winter is the perfect setting that made me feel so much for this utterly confusingly formatted short. I think I understood some of it, definitely the bit about nurses, kisses, and bleeding, but the rest is a mysterious story that will lay still in the back of my mind. I will hold on to the feeling I received by the end. The feeling of familiarity and fear of the unknown.

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Tim.