THE TALK OF DEPARTURE 1960

A BOY AND GIRL IN LONDON IN 1960S AND TALK OF DEPARTURE.

As I get off
the bus from school
O'Brien says
that chick is waiting for you
by the bus stop

I look over
and see Fay
waiting there
in her school uniform
and her light fair hair
almost blonde
and her blue eyes
gazing at me

thought I may
have missed you
she says

no I missed
the first bus
I say
larking about
with O'Brien at school

o
she says

she looks at the bus
taking off
and then back at me

glad I've seen you
she says
I want to tell you something
but you must promise
not to tell anyone
not even your mother
or siblings

ok
I say
what is it?

we walk along
to the crossing
and wait until
the traffic stops
and cross over
and stand on the top
of Meadow Row

she looks at me and says
my mum's taking me soon
and we're leaving
my dad and brothers

I stand stunned
gazing at her
where you going?

don't know
Mum hasn't said
but you mustn't tell anyone
promise me Benedict
you won't

of course I won't
I say

she looks tearful
and we walk along
the Row

when are you going?

she shrugs her shoulders
quite soon

do you mind leaving
your old man and brothers?

yes very much
but Mum can't stay
any longer she says
and can't take the boys
as they're too young
and she can't have my dad
follow us or there'll
be hell to pay
she says

I look at her
my heart sinking
my mind getting overloaded
will you write to me?
I say

if I can
she says

we pause
by the green grocer's shop
and she looks around her
and up and down the Row

Dad will be so angry
and although she's said it
to him before he said
she couldn't leave him
because she'd be breaking
her promise to God
and then be damned to Hell

I see
I say
not seeing but
standing there
giving the impression I do
I'll miss you
I say

I'll miss you too
so much
she says
and her eyes
are glassy with tears

I look
at the green grocer's shop
to take my eyes away
from her so any tears
I may have
are not seen

she lingers looking up
the Row
then her slim hand
takes mine
and she says
don't want to go
but I can't stay
have to go with Mum

I feel her hand in mine
warm kind of
pumping blood
kind of feel

she moves me up
Arch street
off of Meadow Row
and just behind
the green grocer' shop
and kisses me
on the cheek

up Arch street
coal men are filling
trucks and horse
drawn wagons
with sacks of coal

I sense her kiss
and her hand holding mine
and look at her
take in her eyes
her hair
and say
going to miss you
so much
I kiss her cheek
softly
shyly

and then silence
and in the background
the dropping
of sacks of coal
and horses neighing
and men shouting
or calling
and the bottom
of our shared hearts
and world
falling.